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Quotes of Movie: "The Simpsons" [1989]

  • Groundskeeper Willie:
    Ach Wendel. Tis a mighty puddle of puke.



    Wendell:
    I'm sorry.



    Groundskeeper Willie:
    That's all right lad. You reminded me of why I got into this work in the first place.

  • Bart:
    I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?

  • Bender:
    Great, you guy are my new best friends!



    Homer:
    You wish!


    [Homer throws Bender out of the car destroying him]

  • Principal Skinner:
    [over the intercom] Attention please, I need a volunteer for a thankless chore.


    [Lisa raises her hand]



    Principal Skinner:
    Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson? Thank you, Lisa.

  • Bart:
    Mom, am I a butch or a femme?



    Marge:
    [with hand lifted] Honey, you can be anything you want to be.

  • Bart:
    [after they watch a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the pony tail off the guy in front of us.


    [holds pony tail to his head]



    Bart:
    Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.



    Marge:
    Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.

  • Redneck Matt Groening:
    [notices he's being filmed drinking Tequila shots behind his desk]


    [shouts, heavily accented]



    Redneck Matt Groening:
    Get out of my office!


    [fires a six-shooter twice]

  • Guy N. Cognito:
    [comes into Moe's looking exactly like Homer except for a fake-looking moustache and silly voice] Hello! My name is Guy N. Cognito.



    Moe:
    Get out of here, Homer!


    [sound of Guy N. Cognito getting beaten up and thrown unconscious into the street]



    Homer:
    [walking along despondent until he stumbles onto Guy N. Cognito] Oh, my God, this man is my exact double!


    [a small, puffy-tailed dog walks by]



    Homer:
    That dog has a puffy tail!


    [Homer leaves Guy and starts pursuing the dog]



    Homer:
    Here, puff!

  • Grampa:
    [banging a slipper against a pot in a state of senility]


    [shouts]



    Grampa:
    The Swedish are coming! The Swedish are coming!

  • [Tom Brady is riding a scooter down the football field]



    Tom Brady:
    [shouts] Everyone sucks but me!

  • Homer:
    D'oh!

  • Homer Simpson:
    Sometimes, Marge, you just have to go with your gut.



    Marge:
    You *always* go with your gut. How about for once you listen to your brain?

  • Marge:
    [the Simpsons are touring Toronto, Canada] So, I see you drive on the left up here.



    Tour Guide:
    No, ma'am. I'm drunk.

  • Bart:
    Can I have a beer?



    Homer:
    All right, but not the imported.



    Marge:
    Homer!



    Homer:
    You've got to set limits, Marge.

  • Grampa:
    We're the baddest punks in our age bracket!

  • Mr. Burns:
    Oh, so mother nature needs a favor? Well, maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys.

  • Grampa:
    [to Homer] Make me proud... or at least less ashamed.

  • Marge:
    There's no shame in being a pariah.

  • Lisa:
    Dad, what's a Muppet?



    Homer:
    Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man...


    [laughs hysterically]



    Homer:
    So to answer your question, I don't know.

  • Krusty the Clown:
    This I don't need.

  • Mr. Burns:
    I can't be responsible for what my goons are ordered to do.

  • Marge:
    [Marge has entered a demolition derby] Don't hit me! I'm not like you people, I'm loved!

  • [the Simpsons are housesitting at Mr. Burns' mansion. They are eating dinner at Mr. Burns' oversized dinner table]



    Marge:
    This all seems a little elaborate for Sloppy Joes. I know what the other 12 forks are for, but I don't know what to do with this one.



    Homer:
    Why Marge my dear, I believe you are supposed to scratch your ass with it.



    Marge:
    Homer!


    [scratches rear with fork]



    Marge:
    Ooh...

  • Robot 1:
    Hey, these cards are mine.


    [table falls]



    Robot 2:
    Now look what you've done.



    Robot 1:
    I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me.



    Robot 3:
    Let's forget this whole thing happened.



    Homer:
    What the heck is this, a tea party? Somebody kill somebody.


    [Homer smashes a bottle on a robot's head. The robots begin to shoot Homer, who dives under a table]



    Marge:
    What is it with you and robots?

  • Homer:
    I don't need your pity or your money.


    [pockets money]



    Ron Howard:
    Usually when you say that, you give the money back.

    • Movie: "The Simpsons" [1989] | [2] | [3] | [4] | [5] | [6] | [7] | [8] | [9] | [10] | [11] | [12] | [13] | [14] | [15] | [16] | [17] | [18] | [19] | [20] | [21] | [22] | [23] | [24] | [25] | [26] | [27] | [28] | [29] | [30]
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