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Quotes of Movie: "The Ren & Stimpy Show" [1991]
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Female Chihuahua: Can you spare a cup of protoplasm? They all think I'm crazy, but I know better. It is not I who are crazy. It is I who am *mad*! Can't you hear them? Didn't you see the crowd? Ren: Now, what do you see, Stimpy? Stimpy: Ugly black spots. Ren: RIGHT. Now shut up and look stupid. Ren: Hey, Stimpy, go answer de flap. | |
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Hey Ren, you ready for another day of back-breaking labor, kissing dew drops? Pixie Ren: Dew drop dead. Ahem. Presenting the Cheese-A-Phone. Now we can communicate with various cheeses, regardless of their foreign tongue. Go ahead, Ren, say something in Limburger. Everything's so clear to me now. I'm the King of the Cheese, and you're the Lemon Merchant. [to stimpy after many nights of not getting any sleep] Pss, hey Guido, its all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant, you get it? And he knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it, ya, before he let's loose the marmosets on us. Don't worry little missy, I'll save you. How can he possibly resist the maddening urge to erradicate history at the mere push of a single button? The beautiful, shiny button? The jolly, candy-like button? Will he hold out, folks? Can he hold out? Stimpy: No I can't! Yeagh! [Pushes button] Hey! Whose trash is that? Ren: Stimpy, move your butt! It's a higher mammal! [They leave] George Liquor: Keep out of my trash! I'm telling you for the last time! A man works hard for his filth just to have vagrants come and steal it. It's a crying shame. Teeth to the left of me! Gums to the right of me! I tell you I can't stand it! I'm going *mad*! Oh, my beloved ice-cream bar. How I love to lick your creamy center. [eats bar of soap] Ren: And your oh, so nutty chocolate covering. You're not like the others. You like the same things I do: Wax paper. Boiled football leather. Dog breath. We're not hitchhiking anymore. We're riding! I know how you can be important. I know how you can be really important. Ren: Really? How? Stimpy: You can be the president... of my fan club! Ren: President? Wow! President. [Ren imagines he's the President of the United States] Ren: [Screaming on the phone] What do you mean you don't agree with me? Do you know who you're dealing with? [Pushes "The Button"; A loud explosion blows up a chunk of the world; Ren laughs maniacally] Ren: [Back to reality] I'll do it! You! You and your fan mail, Mr. Fan Club. Everyone love you, don't they? Well, guess what the mailman brought for you today? *Nothing!* This letter's for me! You, they have forgotten! Now it is me they love. It is I who am most loved! It is I who shall rule! You see? This is the proof that you are finished! [Opens letter] Ren: Listen! Listen to what it says. "Dear Ren: - That's me, that's me! - You are my favorite TV star." Are you getting this? [Rubs the letter on Stimpy's face] Ren: It's me they love! I am *king*! "When I grow up, I want to be just like you." How about that? [Elbows Stimpy in the stomach; Stimpy doubles over with pain] Ren: A man with some ambition! "You are my favorite person in the whole world. Love - He says love - Your friend... Stimpy"? Hello, Mr Cat. You're looking healthy today. Ren: [Wearing a Stimpy disguise] Shut up! Duh! I don't want any more of your flithy letters. Your services are no longer welcomed here, and - Duh! - tell those stupid kids to stop writing fan letters for me, Stimpson J. Cat. Duh! Mailman: Whatever you say, Mr. Cat. Actually, I only have one letter today. It's for Mr. Hoek. I guess I'll have to throw it out. Ren: Give me that! [Takes letter and closes door] Ren: Letter for me! Letter for me! Nothing for Stimpy! Ren: I... I was nice today. Nice to those insipid little monkeys, answering their stupid letters. My hands... DIRTY! THE DIRT WON'T COME OFF! [screams] Ren: President... Ha! What a joke. President. President of what? *His* fan club! How they love him! Look at him, lying asleeep. The idol of millions. He's a fool! A silly, little fool. They think he's a god, but he's as mortal as we. How easily I could end the farce... with these hands! These DIRTY hands! AND WITH THESE HANDS I HOLD THE FATE OF MILLIONS! Just one squeeze... then it's over. [moving toward Stimpy] Ren: Just... one... squeeze... AAAAH! It's happening again! MY BRAIN! MY HOT... STINGING... BRAIN! [Screams in agony] [Stimpy rapidly pokes at Ren's shoulder while he sleeps] Ren? Ren? Ren: What EEZ IT, man? At last I have control of your TV set. Are you receiving me? Welcome to our secret headquarters. Stimpy: Thousands of miles beneath the earth's crust. Ren: Shut up you fool! How do we know we can trust them? Stimpy: We could make them take the oath! Ren: Perfect! The oath! Put your hand on the TV screen and repeat after me. I do hereby promise only to watch the Ren and Stimpy show. To make underleg noises during the good scenes. To wear unwashed Lederhosen every single day of the rest of my life! That's it, you're in our secret club! Alright Stimpy, they're OK. Show them the stuff. Stimpy: Congratulations... Ren: Shut up and show them. Stimpy: I'm showing them, I'm showing them. OK kids, its time for a secret cartoon! Ren: YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEY! Ren: Oh my darling, my little cucaracha. I kiss your sleep encrusted eyes. I caress your large bulbous nose... ooh, let us join lips een one final sweet exchange of saliva. [kisses Stimpy, then wakes up] Ren: AHHHH! I've been poisoned! I must wash myself. [drinks out of toilet] Ren: What's de matter with you man? Have you no sense of hygiene? Hey, Jasper. Where's Phil? Jasper the Pup: I told you, they put him to sleep. Ren: So wake him up. Jasper the Pup: You don't wake up from the *big* sleep. Ren: The big sleep... THE BIG SLEEP? THE BIG SLEEP! THE BIG SLEEP! Stimpy: What's the big sleep, Ren? Ren: ...he's DEAD! DEAD YOU EEDIOT! YOU KNOW WHAT DEAD IS? JUST LIKE WE'LL BE IF WE DON'T GET OUT OF 'ERE! At last I have control of your T.V. set. Is you're mother there? No? Good! Welcome to our secret headquarters. Stimpy: Deep inside the lower intestine of a sperm whale! Sperm Whale: [At vet's office, clutching stomah] OH GOD! GOD! I CAN'T STAND IT! MAKE THE PAIN STOP! Belay that nose-picking, Cadet! [praying] And please bless Grandma and Grandpa... Ren: And please give me a million dollars, and a fridge with a padlock and, oh yeah, huge pectoral muscles. [singing to the tune of "God Save the Queen"] Our country reeks of trees, our yaks are really large, and they smell like rotting beef carcasses. And we have to clean up after them, and our saddle sores are the best. We proudly wear women's clothing and searing sand blows up our skirts. And the buzzards they soar overhead, and poisonous snakes will devour us whole, and our bones will bleach in the sun. And we will probably go to... [bleep] Stimpy: ...and that is our great reward for being the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen! | |
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