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Quotes of Movie: "The Pretender" [1996]

  • Sydney:
    How do you think he will hold up?



    Miss Parker:
    Before or after he wets his pants?

  • Sydney:
    Good morning, Miss Parker. Broots.



    Broots:
    Sydney.



    Miss Parker:
    You're looking... refreshed.



    Sydney:
    New underpants will do that to you.


    [Miss Parker and Broots look at each other silently]



    Miss Parker:
    Sydney, you made a funny.



    Sydney:
    Stole it, I'm afraid. Last night, I went on a date.



    Broots:
    You had a date!



    Miss Parker:
    [to Broots] That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other on a computer keyboard.


    [to Sydney]



    Miss Parker:
    So, if it was a date, how can you be sure that those are *your* underpants?

  • Greek Lady Patient:
    Are you a doctor?



    Jarod:
    I am today.

  • Broots:
    Have you ever gone to church?



    Miss Parker:
    With all I've seen and done, a church is the last place I should be.



    Broots:
    Or the first.

  • Mr. Lyle:
    When in doubt, lie.

  • Jarod:
    Love transcends death. The people we love touch our lives, even after they're gone.

  • Broots:
    I, uh, know it's none of my business, Syd, but sometimes Memory Lane can be a dead-end street.

  • Jarod:
    How's life treating you?



    Miss Parker:
    Like he caught me in bed with his wife.

  • Broots:
    I found something bizarre.



    Miss Parker:
    What, like hair on your head?



    Broots:
    No, that would be fantasy. This is real.

  • Mr. Lyle:
    We both know that this notion of human equality perpetuates mediocrity. But we're not mediocre, are we, Miss Parker? We're independent - and independence - that's a privilege of the strong. Tell me, Miss Parker, how strong are you?

  • Miss Parker:
    Since when do you hate to fly?



    Broots:
    I don't hate to fly. I hate to barf.

  • Catherine Parker:
    Trust can kill you or set you free.

  • Jarod:
    What do you want?



    Mr. Lyle:
    Isn't it obvious? I want everything.

  • Jarod:
    I want to know who I am. And I'd rather die trying to find out than live not knowing.

  • Broots:
    Actually Ms. Parker, I don't think we're in Kansas any more.

  • Sandi:
    Are you telling me you've never been to a strip club before? You know, strange men cramming sweaty wads of cash into strange women's panties?



    Jarod:
    I think I would remember THAT.

  • Jarod:
    Topless?



    Sandi:
    What? You've never been in a strip joint before? Naked women swinging around metal poles, strange men cramming sweaty wads of money into strange women's panties?



    Jarod:
    I would remember something like that...

  • Broots:
    You know the rumor that JFK was kept alive as a vegetable somewhere? Buzzie claims it was right here in SL-18.



    Miss Parker:
    Yeah, next to the alien corpses Nixon showed Jackie Gleason.



    Broots:
    That was here too?

  • Miss Parker:
    Maybe I should send you to every Y.M.C.A. in the country first. Or lock you in the Bates Motel with Sydney and Broots.



    Jarod:
    This is about that strip search in Las Vegas, isn't it?

  • Jarod:
    [after asking the foreman about the sulfuric chloride] One more question.



    Foreman:
    Shoot.



    Jarod:
    Valentine's Day. Specifically cupid.



    Foreman:
    Yeah.



    Jarod:
    A corpulent infant, who happens to be an archer, goes around shooting arrows into people and suddenly they're in love?



    Foreman:
    That's about it.



    Jarod:
    And to show that they love, people buy each other chocolate and other sweets? Do they want to be fat, like the infant?

  • Miss Parker:
    You mean a shrink, don't you? Thanks Syd, but I'll leave the mental masturbation to someone else.

  • Claire:
    Jarod, if you ever wanta get together, pick each other's brains, little one-on-one...



    Jarod:
    Careful Claire, don't cross a line you can't come back from.

  • Miss Parker:
    [Referring to her nicotine patch] The only way this thing is gonna help me is if I roll it and smoke it.

  • Sydney:
    The Centre wants him alive.



    Miss Parker:
    Preferably.

  • Claire:
    The superior mind always has a way out: a tiny little door marked 'exit.'



    Jarod:
    Well maybe it's time to run for it.

    • Movie: "The Pretender" [1996] | [2] | [3] | [4] | [5]
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