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Quotes of Movie: "The King of Queens" [1998]
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Friends just keep you away from TV. Hasn't anyone said you look like someone? Doug Heffernan: Oh, you mean like every famous fat guy in every movie ever? Oh my God! My TiVo thinks I'm gay! Why do we have to sit so close to the kitchen? Is it because we're black? | |
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Doug Heffernan: "Warning: Please retain key as refrigerated trucks are not equipped with interior door handles". Mother of ass! Douglas S. Heffernan... whats your second name? Doug Heffernan: Steven. And yours? Deacon Palmer: John. Son of a mother! Doug Heffernan: Shutie! My name might as well be Fatty McButterpants. What movie do you want to see? Kelly Palmer: Something brainless. What's that thriller where the Earth starts to lose its gravitational pull? Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Oh, yeah...”Floaters". Darling, I need to borrow the iron. Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Dad, I told you. If you want a grilled cheese sandwich, I will make you one. Why can't you be more like Rain Man? All right, I'm glad you're all gathered here. Because you're about to hear the story of a driver, a swollen ankle, and get this, an iguana. You know, we're quite a team. Like Jake and the Fatman. Needless to say, I'm Jake. Dad, Doug and I were just thinking... Arthur Spooner: [to Doug] Well, I hope you didn't strain yourself. I kid out of love. Ah, Paris. I haven't been back there since we liberated her in '44. The City Of Lights knew peace once more. I also got the clap, but that's a another story for another time. It seems to have reached optimal temperature. Now hit me with a load of Dougie batter. Doug Heffernan: Let's see how the waffles go and see what happens. Is this how you take a bath? Spence Olchin: Yes. Carrie Spooner Heffernan: You look like Ernie from Sesame Street. Spence Olchin: What did I do to you? Did you lift your shirt and *make* them touch your belly hair? Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Don't you bring my father into this! Doug Heffernan: He's out of his mind! He cancelled our cable, because the cable company wouldn't pay him each time they ran the movie "Arthur"! No longer being Mastercard's bitch? Priceless! I'm going to come up with something so romantic and heartfelt it's gonna make you feel like a piece of crap! A piece of crap! You gotta hand it to those Japanese, though, clever people. Still a mystery to me how we ever got them to surrender in the Second World War. Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Well, we did annihilate two of their cities. Arthur Spooner: True enough. Mystery solved. Arthur Spooner: Well, hello there, neighbour! Doug Heffernan: Hello. Why did he call me neighbour? Carrie Spooner Heffernan: I'm moving him up here tonight, the basement was freezing. Doug Heffernan: How freezing? Doug Heffernan: No big deal. We'll just reload the dishwasher and wash 'em. Okay, which of these did you already put away? Arthur Spooner: Let's see, I definitely remember putting away a blue bowl with big white and yellow sunflowers on it. Doug Heffernan: Okay, we don't own anything close to that. | |
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