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Quotes of Movie: "The Invisible Man" [2000]
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When you're invisible, the only one really watching you is you. Darien Fawkes: Wow. How about you print that out and put it on a key chain for me. It is my job to keep you safe. Darien Fawkes: "That's a bunch of crock. You care about me like you care about that rat." By the way, I want my tombstone to say, "Too late, he's already dead." You know, just in case more people show up wanting to screw my life over. A great 20th century philosopher, Charles Schulz, once had Linus observe that "Big sisters are the crabgrass on the lawn of life." I guess the same could be said of big brothers. | |
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Darien Fawkes: No one move, or the gland gets it! What, you never had an invisible friend? Robert Hobbes: I had invisible enemies. From now on, the glass is half full. The Keeper: Much better. Darien Fawkes: Unforunately it's filled with blood. Hey, could you explain something to me? Now that I can go invisible, I can't be let out of sight! Now how does that make sense? The Keeper: You see, it doesn't have to. When you're invisible, the only person who can truly watch you is yourself. Darien Fawkes: Wow, could you print that up and put that on a keychain for me? You're in the spy business and you don't have a safe house? The Official: It was either a safe house or the electric bill. There was a mime. I beat the Hell out of a mime. What happened to him? Is he okay? Robert Hobbes: Relax, he did not recover. Darien Fawkes: Thank God Darien Fawkes: There once was a story about a man that could turn invisible. I thought it was only a story until it happened to me. You see, there's this stuff called quicksilver that bends light. My brother and some scientists made into a synthetic gland and that's where I come in. You see, I was facing life in prison, so we made a deal, they put the gland in my brain, I walk free. The operation was a complete success, but that's where everything started to go wrong. Darien Fawkes: Aww, crap! A schmuck named Nietzsche once wrote: 'Anything that's done out of love is beyond good and evil.' Now, here's the thing: I love my job. So what does that make me? My feeling always was, good and evil could kiss my ass. But one night... well, they kinda got together and bit me on it. Being blackmailed by the government really gets a guy in touch with his emotions. The Scottish philosopher Balfour said that destiny is the scapegoat we make responsible for our crimes. He was probably right, too, but I bet he was real dull at parties. A patriot poet, Walt Whitman, once sang, 'Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes.' This from a guy who was in love with his own smell. He contained multitudes of stank. A lady once asked famous painter and momma's boy James Whistler if he thought genius was hereditary. His answer was basically, 'I don't know. Never had any kids.' They say, 'He who sups with the Devil needs a long spoon.' I was making dinner reservations for two... I've learned a lotta things since I started working with Bobby Hobbes. The names of all the most popular anti-depressants for starters. The Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan once wrote, 'Things are seldom what they seem: Skim milk masquerades as cream'. Well, of course he was then promptly beaten up by every kid in the school yard... Look, the point is, we probably learned more about Eberts when he was Arnaud, than we ever would've from Eberts himself. You gotta fix me. The Keeper: Did you break yourself already? Look I'm telling you, this thing they put in my head. I think it's evil, and I think it's trying to take over. The Keeper: It's a bio-synthetic gland. It's not evil. Darien Fawkes: "Would it be possible for you to look at me while we're talking? [the Keeper turns to face Darien] The Keeper: The gland secretes the quicksilver that makes you invisible, but it also spikes your epinev... Darien Fawkes: ...levels which causes the violent behavior. The Keeper: Yeah, that. Darien Fawkes: Well it also turned me into a walking time bomb. The Keeper: Well, if you get your shots of counteragent you won't go off. Darien Fawkes: Which brings us back to square one. I need a shot. There's an old saying: "Every man is a genius until he opens his mouth." I decided to save Hobbes the trouble. Great news, Robert. I was able to pull a few strings and managed to get you you're very own staple remover. Robert Hobbes: That's great. You know, I'm a highly trained, decorated field agent, Eberts. I could kill a man right now with my bare hands. Albert Eberts: But can you collate? I'm going mute as we speak. | |
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