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Quotes of Movie: "The Hollywood Squares" [1965]

  • Peter Marshall:
    What are "dual-purpose cattle" good for that other cattle aren't?



    Paul Lynde:
    They give milk... and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies.

  • Peter Marshall:
    According to Amy Vanderbilt, what is the maximum length of time you and your fiancé should be engaged?



    Rose Marie:
    Engaged in what?

  • Peter Marshall:
    Eddie Fisher recently said, "I am sorry. I am sorry for them both." Who was he referring to?



    Paul Lynde:
    His fans.

  • Peter Marshall:
    On what night is a woman most likely to be molested?



    Rose Marie:
    With my luck, it's probably tonight - and I'm working.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Your sheep has a temperature of 102. Is she normal?



    Burt Reynolds:
    People think I'm not normal because I keep taking her temperature.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Why is the booby bird called the booby bird?



    Karen Valentine:
    Because they have big... feet.

  • Peter Marshall:
    You're a 71-year-old man who has lost interest in sex. Does your doctor have anything to help you?



    Charley Weaver:
    No, but his nurse does.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?



    Paul Lynde:
    Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

  • Peter Marshall:
    You're a shy, bashful girl. According to "Cosmo," will you probably be helped in overcoming your shyness by choosing an extroverted, outgoing husband?



    Rose Marie:
    Gosh, Pete, I did that once and his wife caught us.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?



    Charley Weaver:
    A divorcee.

  • Peter Marshall:
    True or false, George: experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.



    George Gobel:
    Yes, and I think I voted for six of 'em.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?



    Charley Weaver:
    Dennis Weaver. That's why they asked the question.

  • Peter Marshall:
    James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it?



    Marty Allen:
    Rhonda Fleming.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit?



    Joan Rivers:
    Yes. It's daddy's turn.

  • Peter Marshall:
    According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?



    Paul Lynde:
    No. You should dress warmly.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Can boys join the Campfire Girls?



    Marty Allen:
    Only after lights out.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to her grandma's house. On her way there, she stopped to get something for her grandma. To get what?



    Paul Lynde:
    Feen-a-mints.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Say Paul, what is the official currency of Puerto Rico?



    Paul Lynde:
    Food Stamps.

  • Peter Marshall:
    According to the IRS, out of every 10 Americans audited, how many end up paying more taxes?



    Paul Lynde:
    11.

  • Peter Marshall:
    According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. What should people from California be prepared for?



    Charley Weaver:
    The people from Florida and the people from the Midwest.

  • Peter Marshall:
    According to a recent medical study, sex can be harmful to a certain part of the body. Which part?



    Jan Murray:
    I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear the question. A little louder, please?



    Peter Marshall:
    According to a recent medical study, sex can be harmful to a certain part of the body...



    Jan Murray:
    Six? Six can hurt a body? Oh, SEX... I remember. I'll say the eyes because I read about it so much.

  • Peter Marshall:
    Charley, how many balls are on a pool table in a standard game of 8-ball?



    Charley Weaver:
    How many men are on the table?

  • Peter Marshall:
    In the Shakespearean play "King Lear", King Lear had three of them - Goneril, Cordelia, and Regan? Who were they?



    Paul Lynde:
    King Lear had Goneril?

  • Peter Marshall:
    When Henry Kissinger recently visited Japan, he went to a geisha house. Now, how did he spend his time in the geisha house?



    Paul Lynde:
    Oh, negotiating for peace (piece).

  • Peter Marshall:
    Will humming help your tennis game?



    Florence Henderson:
    Will humming help my tennis game? Sure, why not? It takes your mind off your balls, or something.

    • Movie: "The Hollywood Squares" [1965] | [2]
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