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Quotes of Movie: "The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin&#
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Jimmy Anderson: Wreckers of law and order. Communists, Maoists, Trotskyists, neo-Trotskyists, crypto-Trotskyists, union leaders, Communist union leaders, atheists, agnostics, long-haired weirdos, short-haired weirdos, vandals, hooligans, football supporters, namby-pamby probation officers, rapists, papists, papist rapists, foreign surgeons - headshrinkers, who ought to be locked up, Wedgwood Benn, keg bitter, punk rock, glue-sniffers, "Play For Today", Clive Jenkins, Roy Jenkins, Up Jenkins, up everybody's, Chinese restaurants - why do you think Windsor Castle is ringed with Chinese restaurants? Reginald Perrin: You realise the sort of people you're going to attract, don't you, Jimmy? Thugs, bully-boys, psychopaths, sacked policemen, security guards, sacked security guards, ratialists, Paki-bashers, queer-bashers, Chink-bashers, anybody-bashers, rear Admirals, queer admirals, Vice Admirals, fascists, neo-fascists, crypto-fascists, loyalists, neo-loyalists, crypto-loyalists. Jimmy Anderson: Do you think so? I thought recruitment might be difficult. C.J.: I didn't get where I am today by having green frogs thrust down my crotch. I didn't get where I am today by thinking. I didn't get where I am today by biting people in the changing room. | |
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I didn't get where I am today by wearing underpants decorated with Beethoven. The computer has processed the results of the smelling. Reginald Perrin: Ah! C.J.: Exactly. As you so rightly say "Ah!" This is what smell number one reminded its smellers of: five people - mountains, four people - snow, three people - fresh water, two people - large forest, one person - Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap! Reginald Perrin: This is extraordinary, C.J.! C.J.: Smell number two: nine people - herbs, one each for: lavender, thyme, marjoram, spice factory, heather and Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap! Reginald Perrin: This is astonishing, C.J.! C.J.: Smell number three, and a greater degree of unanimity: fourteen people - roses. But! Reginald Perrin: But! C.J.: One person - Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap! Reginald Perrin: I can hardly credit this, C.J. C.J.: It's the same sorry story for all ten smells. Reginald Perrin: Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. C.J.: I didn't get where I am today by everything smelling of Bolivian unicyclist's jockstraps! I didn't get where I am today by sleeping with sweaty, Caledonian chefs! I didn't get where I am today by drinking a liquid that's only been tested on pencils! Reginald Perrin: Your complaints about late delay are not only completely unjustified, but also ungrammatical. The fault lies in your inability to fill in an order form correctly. You are, in effect, a pompous, illiterate baboon. Colin Pillock: Mr. Perrin. Are you trying to tell me that you're providing a valuable social service? Reginald Perrin: No. Colin Pillock: But you just said you did. Reginald Perrin: Exactly. I'm not trying to tell you, I'm succeeding. If I'd said "I like squashy bananas" I would have been failing to say "I am providing a valuable social service", but I didn't say "I like squashy bananas", I said "I am providing a valuable social service", thus succeeding brilliantly in saying "I am providing a valuable social service". So when you said you were providing a valuable social service, you were lying? Reginald Perrin: Yes, I'm a congenial liar. Sheridan Honeydew: Don't you mean "congenital" liar? Reginald Perrin: No, congenial. I'm enjoying myself. To tell you the truth, Sherry - do you mind if I call you Sherry? - to tell you the truth, I started the whole thing off as a joke. I'd spent a quarter of a century in puddings and I was feeling a trifle stifled. So I decided to try something else - I started Grot. But now I'm much more interested in my bankruptcy. I didn't get where I am today selling ice creams tasting of bookends, pumice stone, and West Germany. Every silver lining has a cloud. Reginald Perrin: Twenty-two minutes late, badger ate a junction box at New Malden. Reginald Perrin: Twenty-two minutes late, escaped puma, Chessington North. There's no smoke without the worm turning. Reginald Perrin: Twenty-two minutes late, fed up by train delays, came by bike. Slow puncture at Peckham. It's the early bird that catches the quick brown fox. Reginald Perrin: I am sorry to hear you have not yet received your supply of edible furniture. This can only be due to the non-arrival of supplies. I am, however, deeply disturbed to hear that you have not yet received our new range of dentures for pets, which are proving so popular with bloody silly idiots who put little doggie dentures in glasses of water beside their kennels, and little budgie dentures in even smaller glasses of water beside their cages. Absence is better than a cure. Prevention makes the heart grow fonder. What the eye doesn't see is goose for the gander. Has that secretary of yours got any more chest trouble? Reginald Perrin: No. Doc Morrissey: Oh, pity. I'm sorry, I might be a bit slow on the uptake. Reginald Perrin: Yes? David Harris-Jones: But why should anyone buy a pill that doesn't do anything? Reginald Perrin: Because it comforts them, David. It has no effects whatsoever, therefore it has no side-effects, you don't need to keep it out of the reach of children, and Catholics can take it. Had any dreams about naked sportswomen? Reginald Perrin: As a matter of fact I have. Only last night, I dreamed I was watching the Whiteman Cup at Wimbledon. Everyone was naked. Even the line judges. Doc Morrissey: Who won? Reginald Perrin: To be honest, I didn't much bother with the scores. I think it was the ones with the very big, er, first serves. Labour Exchange Clerk: Why did you leave Sunshine Desserts? Reginald Perrin: I was, er, ooh, sacked. When I say "I don't want to commute", I am prepared to travel a small distance, of course. Labour Exchange Clerk: Why were you sacked? Reginald Perrin: Well, I sort of staged a fake suicide and, er, came back as my long lost friend from... The company car isn't absolutely essential and I am prepared to work weekends. | |
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