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Quotes of Movie: "The Brak Show" [2000]

  • Brak:
    Say wh... what time you got there pardner?



    Thunderclese:
    Time is an abstract concept created by carbon-based life-forms to monitor their ongoing decay.

  • Brak:
    Last time I was this happy, I was face down in a pizza pie, eatin' my way to freedom!

  • Brak:
    Dad, I need 20 dollars.



    Dad:
    Yes, and I need a prehensile tail so I can grab onto things like a monkey.

  • Mike:
    Hi there, my name's Mike, I'm a razor-toed-spine-masher, wanna be pals?



    Thunderclese:
    Negative.

  • Brak:
    I'm just gonna go to my room, I won't be able to sleep though.


    [snoring]



    Brak:
    ... Man I love sleepin'... I wish I could wake up so I can go back to sleep.

  • Thunderclese:
    [rapping] War!/It's good for me!/What's my name?



    Back-up Group:
    THUNDERCLEESE!

  • Brak:
    [singing] Food can be your friend/ Or food can be your foe./ But if you eat too much of it/ to heaven you shall gooooooooo!

  • [Brak prepares to dissect a clam in Biology class]



    Brak:
    I guess it's goodbye Brak the happy, go-lucky man about town... and hello, Brak the ruthless clam slayer.

  • [Brak to Dad]



    Brak:
    Holy gherkin pickles, pop!

  • Dad:
    [mumbling in hot tub water]



    Brak:
    I hope those are talking bubbles, buddy.

  • [Mom yells at Dad after the roof is torn off their house, she then walks away]



    Dad:
    [to self] I don't know why we need a roof anyway, just put a hat on and get over it!

  • Brak:
    Mr. Tickles, how do y-how do you think Thunderclese is gonna take this?



    Mr. Tickles:
    Oh my God, he'll tear your arms off!



    Brak:
    But I love my arms! That's where my hands live!

  • Brak:
    [to Zorak] But this money's for college.



    Zorak:
    [taking the money] Swipe!



    Brak:
    NOW I'LL NEVER BE A BARBER!

  • [Brak sings about his Mom]



    Brak:
    That's my mom! / She goes by the name of Mom! / M is for her razmatazz / O is for the way she talks / The other "M" is there because... / You can't have a mom without "M"!

  • [Brak asks Zorak for help]



    Zorak:
    I'm not your daddy... or maybe I am.

  • Dad:
    Tonight, in the dark of night, after night has shrouded my dark plan in its nightly darkness, I will exact my revenge!

  • [Zorak has teleported out of the scene]



    Brak:
    I didn't know Zorak could teleport!



    Zorak:
    [Omniscient voice] There are many things you don't know about me!



    Brak:
    Oh yeah, like what?


    [Zorak teleports back in]



    Zorak:
    I'm forty!


    [Laughs evily and teleports back out]



    Brak:
    Well that certainly came out of left field.

  • [Clarence appears, smoking a cigarette]



    Brak:
    Clarence! We thought you were dead!



    Clarence:
    Clarence the boy is dead. Say hello to Clarence the man... who just had sex.

  • [Brak at a party]



    Brak:
    Hey guys, lets throw up the booze we just drank...

  • [Brak comes home in tears]



    Brak:
    I don't want to live anymore!


    [runs to his room]



    Dad:
    Alright, now I can finally have that study I've always wanted.


    [Mom looks at him angrily]



    Dad:
    What? I'm half kidding, what do you people want from me?

  • Brak:
    Hey, what happened to my bed?


    [Brak's bed is covered with a thick, bubbling slime]



    Zorak:
    Yeah, that's my funk. Leave it alone. It's resting.



    Brak:
    Well, where did it come from?



    Zorak:
    Do you really want to know?



    Brak:
    No, I suppose not.

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