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Quotes of Movie: "The Bill" [1984]

  • PC Jim Carver:
    Bradford? She's got about as much community spirit as Adolf Hitler.

  • [to PC Klein]



    Cass Rickman:
    You look like Dracula with the flu.

  • DC Mike Dashwood:
    Anything else?



    DI Burnside:
    Yeah, a garage full of bricks.



    DC Mike Dashwood:
    What kind of bricks?



    DI Burnside:
    The kind the third little pig used to build his house out of. Brick, bricks.

  • PC Cass Rickman:
    Smithy thinks the lotus position is having sex in a flash car.

  • Sgt. Bob Cryer:
    Never Volunteer; it's an old army saying.



    DI Burnside:
    I'll have to remember that next time I'm in an old army.

  • Sgt. Matt Boyden:
    When The Met employed Reg Hollis, they deprived a village of its idiot.

  • Chief Supt. Charles Brownlow:
    Did the prisoner hurt himself?



    Sgt. Matt Boyden:
    Unfortunately not sir.

  • Sgt. Matt Boyden:
    Let's keep the off air chit-chat off air shall we.

  • Sgt. Alec Peters:
    Best thing to do is to close your office door.



    Chief Inspector Derek Conway:
    Yeah, and tell the world to Foxtrot Oscar.

  • [to PC Best]



    Insp. Gina Gold:
    Oh, and by the way, Gary, I've had to deal with enough knobs today. I'm sure it's very impressive, but keep it in your trousers, eh?

  • DCC Gordon Cooper:
    So, who should we expect a visit from?



    Supt. Tom Chandler:
    DC Mickey Webb, small bloke, yaps like a dog.

  • PC Cathy Bradford:
    D'you think Reg is all right?



    PC Gary Best:
    He's not exactly Rambo is he?



    Insp. Gina Gold:
    Reg may not be a superhero, but I know who I'd like to be with me in a tight corner and it wouldn't be you, Best, all right!

  • PC Debbie Keane:
    [talking about a credit card thief Sonia Papadopoulos] Hey, you know this Sonia what's-her-face?



    PC George Garfield:
    What you mean Sonia Shop-till-you-dropoulos?

  • DS John Boulton:
    [a lawyer standing in his underpants in a football changing room] Oh, great. The brief in briefs.

  • PC Jim Carver:
    Say you got a credit card, right?



    DC Alfred 'Tosh' Lines:
    Yep.



    PC Jim Carver:
    And some slag's got your details...



    DC Alfred 'Tosh' Lines:
    Yep, yep.



    PC Jim Carver:
    And they're usin' it, buying stuff.



    DC Alfred 'Tosh' Lines:
    Yep, yep, what's your point?



    PC Jim Carver:
    Well you are still entitled to the points aren't you?



    DC Alfred 'Tosh' Lines:
    Penetrating intelligence like yours Jim, I don't know why you've not been promoted.



    PC Jim Carver:
    You takin' the mickey?

  • DS Geoff Daly:
    [talking about a married suspect who's got his 24-year-old girlfriend pregnant and doesn't know what to do] Can't help feeling sorry for Ted



    DC Rod Skase:
    What? C'mon! He's trading in his clapped out old Escort for a brand new GTi. Unfortunately it's got a baby seat built in as well!



    DS Geoff Daly:
    You're a right bleeding heart Rod!

  • PC Steven 'Steve' Loxton:
    [on the way to a roadblock to catch a thief who hit Boulton and escaped arrest] He's a dangerous man, Pol. So when we're checkin' these cars I want you to stay nice and close to me!



    PC Polly Page:
    [Gary and George laugh] I thought that's what you meant!



    PC Steven 'Steve' Loxton:
    You may laugh but he's knocked the crap out of CID's finest!



    PC George Garfield:
    Yeah well that's not very hard!



    PC Gary McCann:
    From the description he sounds like a dwarf!



    PC Steven 'Steve' Loxton:
    Well he's a vicious dwarf! He kneed DS Boulton in the orchastra stalls!

  • DI Burnside:
    Annoyed? First Class passengers on the Titanic were annoyed. What I'm feeling now goes beyond that.

  • DI Burnside:
    I feel about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.

  • DI Burnside:
    Ask the real community what they want and they'll tell you loud and clear. Cuff 'em and stuff 'em.

  • DI Burnside:
    [on Brownlow's secretary Marion] I'd like to do the Lambada with her.

  • DI Burnside:
    I don't get stress... I give it.

  • PC Gabriel Kent:
    You think I'm afraid of you Kerry? I'm not. You're like a fly buzzing around me, waiting to be swatted away.



    PC Kerry Young:
    Yeah, well we all know what flies are attracted to.

  • PC Lance Powell:
    He's so far in the closet, he might as well be in Narnia!

  • PC Sheelagh Murphy:
    I've got a husband, I know what it's like when a bloke's got the flu: somewhere between Ebola and Bubonic plague.

    • Movie: "The Bill" [1984] | [2]
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