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Quotes of Movie: "Smart Guy" [1997]

  • Marcus:
    The word "can't" isn't even in my vocabulary.



    Yvette:
    Along with most of the other words in the English language.

  • TJ Henderson:
    I'll try to be more sensitive to the fact that you're dumber than me.



    Marcus:
    That's all I ask!

  • Mackey:
    I gotta get this hat to make me look cool.


    [turns his hat to the right]



    Mackey:
    This is the way they're wearing it right? 'Bout it, 'Bout it.

  • Yvette:
    I answered the phone. I'm sick I need help.

  • Mackey:
    Hey, I know it's cold now, but maybe in summer we could go swimming.



    Yvette:
    Why are you talking to me?



    Mackey:
    'Cause you're almost nude in this photo.

  • Floyd:
    You can be the smartest man in the world - and for all I know, you are - but you will NEVER understand women.

  • Floyd:
    How much coffee did you drink, anyway?



    TJ Henderson:
    I feel like that Nazi on Indiana Jones, right before his head melted!

  • Yvette:
    Dad! You promised you weren't gonna come down here and binge on cake anymore!



    Floyd:
    You want some some?



    Yvette:
    Yeah.



    Floyd:
    Grab a spoon.

  • Pete Gilroy:
    [Yvette walks in on a conversation, not knowing it's about a dog] My Grandson's not only a terrific runner, he's really smart too.



    Yvette:
    Oh, well maybe he and TJ can hang out together. Is he around TJ's age?



    Pete Gilroy:
    Well, I don't know, how old are you?



    T.J.:
    Almost ten, sir.



    Pete Gilroy:
    Oh, no, he'd be long dead by then.



    Yvette:
    Oh, I'm so sorry!



    Pete Gilroy:
    When they're as abnormally large as my Grandson, their hearts tend to crap out.



    Yvette:
    [crying] I'm going to do the dishes!

  • Mr. Basil Militich:
    T.J. You're not in elementry school anymore. You're in highschool. You've got to learn some self-control.



    TJ Henderson:
    Yeah but I have so many ideas in my head that they just come flowing out.



    Mr. Basil Militich:
    Yes I know.

  • [after writing a threatening letter to the president, TJ is concerned about goverment agents checking up on him]



    Mr. Basil Militich:
    They wanted to know about what kinds of friends you have.



    TJ Henderson:
    And what did you tell them?



    Mr. Basil Militich:
    I said that you kept to yourself most of the time, a bit of a loner.



    TJ Henderson:
    Oh, thanks a lot! Why didn't you just tell them I'm president of the Saddam Hussein fanclub?



    Mr. Basil Militich:
    ...Are you?



    TJ Henderson:
    No!



    Mr. Basil Militich:
    They were also interested in the books you checked out. By the way, why did you check out that book on gunpowder?



    TJ Henderson:
    It was for science, I was building a volcano!



    Mr. Basil Militich:
    I told them you must be fascinated by explosives. Boom!

  • Marcus:
    Don't get us wrong, we care about the environment.



    Morris L. 'Mo' Tibbs:
    Give a hoot, don't pollute.



    Marcus:
    But we're not gonna drink something that tastes like vinegar, just so some chipmunks somewhere can live an extra couple of weeks.

  • TJ Henderson:
    [temporarily stupid, to his dad] Hey, did you know that if you rearrange the letters in your name, they spell "Flody"? Floyd, Flody... Flody, Flody, Flody!

  • Floyd:
    [about a teacher] He confiscated your computer?



    TJ Henderson:
    Yeah. He says if I want it back you have to sign this


    [hands Floyd a note and Floyd signs it]



    Marcus:
    [about his own slip] What about mine?



    Floyd:
    Oh yeah


    [he crumbles it up]



    Marcus:
    Hey!



    TJ Henderson:
    Well TJ was in pursuit of knowledge. You're in pursuit of a hat that makes you look like a bananna.

  • Marcus:
    [TJ comes out of the bathroom after throwing up] How are you feeling?



    TJ Henderson:
    Lettuce came out my nose, how do you think I feel?



    Marcus:
    Did you eat lettuce?



    TJ Henderson:
    No.

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