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Quotes of Movie: "Saved by the Bell: The College Years&#

  • Kelly:
    Zack, what do you want from me?



    Zack:
    I... I-I want you to marry me.



    Kelly:
    What?

  • [AlexX chickens out on getting a tattoo]



    Alex:
    I couldn't do it. You're not mad, are you?



    Slater:
    Of course I'm mad! I got this dumb, idiotic tattoo for YOU.



    Alex:
    I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you. What do you want me to do?



    Slater:
    I'll tell you what I want you to do. You and I are gonna go to the Sylvester Stallone Film Festival next weekend. We're gonna see every movie he ever made.



    Alex:
    Even "Rocky"?



    Slater:
    Yup, 1 through 5.



    Alex:
    I'll go get the tattoo.

  • Alex:
    Emotional? Women are not emotional!

  • Leslie:
    Come on Alex lets go do something only women can do.



    Alex:
    Yeah, lets go... give birth.

  • Alex:
    Life is so unfair. I have to lose two pounds within a few days!



    Kelly:
    C'mon, two pounds is not going to hurt you.



    Screech:
    Oh yeah? That's what Delta Burke said before she inhaled her first cheesecake.

  • Professor Hemmings:
    This is pathetic! I want every other row to stand up.


    [every other row stands]



    Professor Hemmings:
    This is how many of my students are going to fail my class - - fifty percent.



    Alex:
    Excuse me, Professor Hemmings, but... would that be the half that are sitting OR the half that are standing?



    Professor Hemmings:
    [smiles] We'll soon find out, won't we.

  • Zack:
    Well, hello ladies! Did you miss me?



    Leslie:
    As much as I miss my acne.

  • [Zack and Kelly are getting married]



    Dean Susan McMann:
    [on phone] Hello, Reverend Dunlap. I would like to make a reservation in the school chapel for the Kawposki-Morris Wedding.


    [listening]



    Dean Susan McMann:
    Well then, bump the professor's funeral. He'll keep 'till Monday!

  • [the Reverend walks in on a wild stripper bachelor party]



    Rev. Dunlap:
    You know what? Maybe I should come back another time.



    Zack:
    Oh that would be great! How about Monday?



    Rev. Dunlap:
    I was thinking more around the lines of ten years - - when you've all had a chance to grow up!



    Screech:
    I knew we should have gone with Barney.

  • Zack:
    [waiting for Kelly, but Slater walks in] Geez... I thought you were Kelly.



    Slater:
    If I were Kelly, I'd put on something skimpy and stare at myself in the mirror.



    Zack:
    That's what you do NOW.

  • Leslie:
    Hi, Screech. What are you doing?



    Screech:
    Hi, Leslie. I'm just watching the T.V.



    Leslie:
    But the T.V. is turned off.



    Screech:
    Oh I know, I'm just watching the T.V.

  • Zack:
    Kelly, you can't be serious. I mean, if you go on this semester-at-sea program, you'll be at sea... for a semester!



    Dean Susan McMann:
    [sarcastic shock] And you're only a freshmen?

  • Zack:
    Well, I've thought about it long and hard, and I've decided that I'm gonna ask Kelly if we could date exclusively.



    Slater:
    Exclusively? Wait a minute... you mean as in - - only?



    Zack:
    Yeah.



    Slater:
    Are you crazy?



    Zack:
    I know, I know. It was a shock to me at first too, but I'm sure about this.



    Slater:
    Oh, no! This is terrible. When Alex hears about this, SHE'LL wanna date exclu -... exclu -... man I can't even say the word!

  • Slater:
    Alex, I have to tell you something. I went to the car show with...


    [suddenly lies]



    Slater:
    ... Chris...



    Leslie:
    [finishes name] ... tee.



    Slater:
    No thanks, I'm drinking orange juice.

  • Screech:
    You've got one more test, Zack.



    Zack:
    What? They've tested everywhere they possibly can.



    Screech:
    Nope- there's just one more place.

  • Screech:
    Who wants their barrium?


    [Zack gets up and runs away]



    Screech:
    Aw, but it's cherry flavored.

  • Clara:
    You do that again, and I'm going to stick your head in the microwave.

  • Screech:
    Mike has Big Bird on his butt!



    Mike Rogers:
    It's not Big Bird. It's Tweety Bird.



    Screech:
    Trust me, Mike, that's a big bird!

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