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Quotes of Movie: "Santa Barbara" [1984]

  • Courtney:
    Mason, you look wonderful in your tux.



    Mason:
    But not as lovely as you two ladies. What did you do, Madeline, mug a chandelier on the way in?

  • Ted:
    Oh, come on Julia, haven't you ever been in love?



    Julia:
    Yes. I've also had scarlet fever and the measles. Ask me which one I liked best.

  • Lionel Lockridge:
    The doctor says I'm going to live.



    Augusta Lockridge:
    Am I to be spared nothing?

  • C.C.:
    They ought to call my biography, "The Man Whose Wives Refuse To Die."

  • Augusta Lockridge:
    Laken, I know I raised you to be cheerful and always look on the bright side of things, but forget about all that right now because this is a time of crisis!

  • Gina:
    I only blackmail people who can afford it! I know what I'm doing!

  • Gina:
    I stole his sperm.



    Lily:
    You WHAT?



    Gina:
    You heard me! I don't want to repeat it!



    Lily:
    What - did you follow him around with a little bottle until...



    Gina:
    No, no, no, it wasn't like that! I got a job at a sperm bank where I knew he made a deposit and I simply... made a... withdrawal.

  • Julia Wainwright Capwell:
    No, Gracie, you can't push yet! Not 'til the baby's head's out!



    Mason:
    Julia, if the woman wants to push...



    Julia Wainwright Capwell:
    What'd you do, get a uterus for Christmas?

  • [Struggling to come up with nice things to say about Gina]



    Mason:
    Well, I never actually saw her pull the wings off butterflies.

  • Lionel Lockridge:
    Let's talk about trust. We used to have that.



    Augusta Lockridge:
    Yes. We also used to have a Studebaker.

  • Andrea Bedford:
    I keep trying to say goodbye to my father, but its like writing in invisible ink, you know? It doesn't take.

  • Mason:
    Someday I think it would be amusing if great historians debated who was worse CC Capwell or Attila the Hun.

  • Gina:
    Mason be nice. Act normal for a change.



    Mason:
    Nice isn't normal for me.

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  • Well we'd just seen Gerry. I think he wanted somebody who had that authority and was handsome. The thing is, he's a big hunk isn't he? All I can say, if you look at his chat line, or the Phantom website, it's quite worrying. Because the girls really seem to love him. (Andrew Lloyd Webber)


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  • I'm thinking, this is Robert Redford. You know, he's won an Academy Award, he's talking to me about directing a movie he's in. So you just think that it's Hollywood stuff or whatever (Barry Levinson)