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Quotes of Movie: "Press Gang" [1989]

  • Colin:
    Maybe I should just mention my extra-specially-close friends get a preferential loan rate *and* badges. I do have vacancies in my peer group...

  • [Julie wants Spike to go undercover on a date for an exclusive interview]



    Julie:
    ...He'd be, well, seducing her.



    Spike:
    Yeah, but I'd only be doing it so I could nail her... I mean pin her down... Look, this could be a big story for us; All Julie's suggesting is, if I can get this woman relaxed by candlelight, maybe, just maybe, I could loosen her tongue.


    [Lynda slaps Spike]

  • [repeated line]



    Lynda:
    Damn.



    Sarah:
    Magazine.

  • [Entering a room]



    Spike:
    Girls please, tongues in.

  • Colonel X:
    America is a fine young country, Spike, with a great deal of potential.



    Spike:
    Thank you.

  • Kenny:
    Do you really want to hear about a mad old lady who keeps thirty-two cats?



    Lynda:
    That's not so mad.



    Kenny:
    Oh yeah? She says she's saving them up for a coat.



    Lynda:
    Sick.



    Kenny:
    She's got names for them, too: Sleeve, Pocket, Collar...

  • Kenny:
    People say I'm too reasonable to have opinions, but I don't know about that.

  • Lynda:
    Has anyone ever told you you've got a wonderful vocabulary?



    Spike:
    I always knew that, I just could never put it into words.

  • Lynda:
    Why do you assume I'm completely incapable of understanding anything technical?



    Kenny:
    I find it saves time.

  • Angelo:
    You look very cute in that outfit.



    Lynda:
    Thank you. That's the first time you've noticed I'm dressed.

  • Lynda:
    Okay, it's like this. There's a tribe living down by a river, and in the river there are crocodiles. The tribe has one particular piece of wisdom passed down through the generations. It goes like this: if you happen to meet a crocodile, don't stick your head in its mouth. Every now and then, and who knows the reason, people ignore this advice, which is sad, because they die. But very stupid because they were warned. They had a choice. The moral of this story is this: You can't afford to be stupid. There are crocodiles.

  • Angelo:
    So why not you and me then?



    Lynda:
    Let me be totally clear: you sweat, you make sucking noises when you breathe, and your body odor is even now rotting my nasal lining.



    Angelo:
    See how you excite me?



    Lynda:
    Die!



    Angelo:
    So if you don't like me, how come we're flirting?

  • Colin:
    I'm not following this am I?



    Frazz:
    Of course you are, just a long long way behind.

  • Frazz:
    Sex and violence; I love children's television.

  • Frazz:
    Would you forget a date with Colin?



    Julie:
    I'd try.

  • Julie:
    Don't take this wrong, but you behave like a real jerk.



    Colin:
    There's a right way to take that?

  • Julie:
    Why don't you just tell Spike you give in?



    Lynda:
    Because I'd rather die than let Spike win anything ever.



    Julie:
    Why?



    Lynda:
    You know what he's like, he's so competitive.

  • Julie:
    You're late.



    Lynda:
    You're fired. I win.

  • Kenny:
    If I get killed doing this you're gonna feel really guilty.



    Lynda:
    Why would I? You wont be around to tell me to.

  • Kenny:
    Oh well I'm sorry if my problems are not providing enough entertainment for you!



    Lynda:
    Oh don't be like that Kenny, they usually do.

  • Lynda:
    Dear diary, it's that cute American again, and he's searching my desk. Does this mean he fancies me? It's so difficult to know what to say in these situations. One wants to be firm with him, but just a little seductive. Find out what the hell he's doing, but maybe encourage him a little. I need style, authority, and sex appeal.


    [spoken]



    Lynda:
    Something of interest in my drawers?

  • Lynda:
    I have never sunk so low. Take me now Lord, death would be promotion.

  • Lynda:
    I'm not being unreasonable, I'm keeping my cool. All I want is simply for this person to be removed from the studio and shot dead.

  • Lynda:
    Julie, about your taste in men...



    Julie:
    Yeah?



    Lynda:
    Get some.

  • Lynda:
    Maybe I'm finally learning that being smart and being right isn't a license to treat people like dirt.



    Spike:
    Lynda, you're talking all kind of sane, and nice!



    Col. X:
    Nobody move! I am Colonel X.



    Spike:
    Oh! Now I get it, this is a dream.

    • Movie: "Press Gang" [1989] | [2]
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  • Well we'd just seen Gerry. I think he wanted somebody who had that authority and was handsome. The thing is, he's a big hunk isn't he? All I can say, if you look at his chat line, or the Phantom website, it's quite worrying. Because the girls really seem to love him. (Andrew Lloyd Webber)


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  • I'm thinking, this is Robert Redford. You know, he's won an Academy Award, he's talking to me about directing a movie he's in. So you just think that it's Hollywood stuff or whatever (Barry Levinson)