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Quotes of Movie: "Only Fools and Horses" [1981]
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Where d'you get those aces from? Del Boy: Same place you got those kings. I always knew you were cheating, Boycie. Boycie: Yeah, how? Del Boy: 'Cause that wasn't the hand that I dealt you. Del Boy: Bloody Hell! What have WE got ourselves into here? Rodney: Well this is your fault! You just go rushing into things and to Hell with the consequences! Del Boy: That's because I've got a High Profile! Rodney: Yeah! High profile and low forehead! Rodney: He's going a long way out! Rico: Yeah! But he's enjoying himself! Rodney: Yeah I know that but Del can't even swim. Salavatorie: BUT I THOUGHT HE SAID HE HAD A CERTIFICATE FOR SWIMMING! Rodney: Well he does... but it ain't his! Now. Where's my bottle of wine? Del Boy: Blimey. Captain Birds Eye's here in all. | |
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Are you saying I'm stupid? Rodney: Either that or it's the Chinese year of the dodo. I see ICI dropped a point. Rodney: Yeah. Chelsea dropped three on Saturday Del Boy: It's a love story and a who done it! Rodney: Everyone knows who done it! There's 30 dead people with Rhino tramps all over them, there's a lock up with 2 foot pile of Rhino dung and Charlton Heston suspects the butler! Keep the noise down will yer, I can hardly hear this! Del Boy: Shut up you saucy old git. Rodney: Well, even if you could hear it, you couldn't understand it, could you, it's in Indian! Uncle Albert: In 1959 I was in Bombay! Del Boy: You carry on much longer by tomorrow afternoon you could be in traction. Uncle Albert: But I like this kind of music! Del Boy: Ah! Oh yeah, look at that Rodney. It's one of his favourites that is. That's that good old fashioned sing-along number, Knees Up Mother Patel. [to Del] You were declared bankrupt. You have been banned from running any company from sitting on any boards or dealing with any shares. They don't even want you past the Stock Exchange on a bike! And you owe the Inland Revenue over £50,000. Trigger: If it's a girl they're gonna name it Sigourney, after the actress. And if it's a boy they're gonna name him Rodney, after Dave. What you up to Dave? Rodney: I'm listening to Mozart's Concerto No.5 in D-Minor. Trigger: No words to this song Dave? Rodney: No Trigger, it's an instrumental. Del Boy: All right Trigger? What you doing? Trigger: I'm listening to Mozart's Concerto No.5 in D-Minor. Del Boy: Okay. Trigger: It's the karaoke version. Trigger what are you doing here? Trigger: Well Dave, Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub. Rodney: Oh I suppose that's... Hold on, you live closer to the pub then we do? Trigger: Yeah I know, but Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub. Rodney: But Trigger, you've had walk past the pub to get to our flat! Trigger: I know, but Del Boy said he'd give me a lift down the pub. Don't worry, Rodney. This time next year, we'll be millionaires! Rodney: This time last WEEK we were millionaires! When we was at school Del was the best at Chemistry. He used to sell home-made fireworks. He even blew up the science lab once. Denzil: Yes I remember. I was doing detention in there at the time. Problems, Dave? Rodney: I don't want to talk about it Trig. You ever been wrongly accused of something? Trigger: Yeah once. Rodney: Yeah, How did you get out of it? Trigger: Well I didn't - I was guilty. If Elsie Partridge really could raise the dead half the money lenders in Peckham would be employing her. I could do with another blanket here, I'm freezing. Del Boy: Yeah it is a bit cold. Uncle Albert: Cold? You bits of kids don't know the meaning of the word. You should have been with me on the Russian convoys. One night it was so cold the flame on my lighter froze. There's no point in running away. Running away only wears out your shoes. Did you play cards again last night? Del Boy: What? Yes! You know me Grandad! He who dares, wins. Grandad: How'd you get on? Del Boy: I lost. He who dares Rodney, he who dares. [referring to a pile of broken lawnmower engines] Oi, Del... me and Mickey might have a problem getting these back to our depot. We come down on the Green Line, see? Del Boy: Right, well, your best bet would be to hire an open-backed truck. Rodney: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's what we thought, but... we were wondering if you could take a couple in the back of the van. Del Boy: Back of my van? You must be joking. I've only just cleared 'em out of the van! Rodney: You mean you were selling 'em in the first place? Del Boy: Yeah. That is the rubbish that Alfie Flowers sold me last week. Normally I'd never have bought it but, you know, he caught me when I was a bit non compost mentis down the one-eleven club. I never thought I'd get shot of 'em, Rodney, but you know me; he who dares wins. I actually made quite a tidy little profit on it and all. Rodney: And what are we supposed to do with them? Del Boy: Well, why don't you do what I did? Find yourselves a couple of right little plonkers with cash on the hip. [after Uncle Albert's suggested Rodney put himself up as a hooker] Rodney can't even *give* it away, let alone flog it! [talking about how to get a date with a beautiful woman] Just be yourself. Del Boy: Oh, leave it out, Rodney; I wanna be in with at least half a chance! [after he and Mickey Pearce have bought a heap of broken lawnmower engines] Oi, you! This stuff is a load of rubbish! Del Boy: I know. I did try to warn you. Rodney: Well... yeah... but I thought ... Del Boy: Yeah, well, the trouble with you, Rodney, is that you will insist on thinking! [Del has had a hang-gliding accident and is in a wheelchair surrounded by sympathetic well-wishers] Oh, listen to me for one minute, will you? Hospitals do not send home paralysed people by bus! Del Boy: [lunging to his feet and seizing Rodney around the neck] You listen to me, you little git! I may never walk again! I may... [realises] Del Boy: Though I must admit I'm getting some feeling back. | |
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