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Quotes of Movie: "Oliver Twist" [1999]

  • Monks, aka Edward Leeford:
    If I could live my life again, I wouldn't.

  • Edward:
    There's no point in biting my hand - I like it. Ow!

  • Nancy:
    We could go to France, Bill!



    Bill Sikes:
    What would I wanna go to France for? I don't like the French.

  • Bumble:
    It was all Mrs. Bumble's fault! She would do it, she would!



    Brownlow:
    No excuse, man. In fact, you were the more guilty of the two in the eye of the law, for the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction.



    Bumble:
    Well, if the law supposes that, than the law is an ass!

  • Nancy:
    Bill, I was just dreamin' about you.



    Bill Sikes:
    Oh yeah? Nightmare, was it?

  • Fagin:
    What would happen, if you would kill me, Bill?



    Bill Sikes:
    Ahhh, I'd go to the gallows, Fagin.

  • Nancy:
    Ah, I don't like to be touched! Thank you very much.

  • Brownlow:
    Ah, forgive my rudeness Oliver, for I haven't yet introduced you to your half-brother Edward Leeford.



    Oliver:
    I always thought I wanted a brother.



    Edward:
    Perfect use of the past tense.

  • Edward:
    I can't. I can tell you that I'm sorry, but I can't tell you what for.



    Brownlow:
    You should.



    Edward:
    I shouldn't.



    Brownlow:
    I really think you might want to.



    Edward:
    I really think that I don't.

  • [Edward and Elizabeth are on horseback]



    Edward:
    Woah, boy, woah.



    Elizabeth:
    It's a girl!



    Edward:
    Is it?


    [tries to look under the horse]

  • Bill Sikes:
    She'll do it for you, Fagin.



    Nancy:
    No, she won't, Fagin.



    Fagin:
    She should, Nancy.



    Nancy:
    [standing to face him] There's only one way to make me do this, Bill.



    Bill Sikes:
    Yeah, I know.


    [He punches her to the floor]



    Bill Sikes:
    As I was saying


    [he kicks her]



    Bill Sikes:
    She'll do it for you, Fagin.

  • Mrs. Bedwin:
    Giles. Brittles is ill.



    Giles:
    No he's not mam. He's always like this.



    Mrs. Bedwin:
    Brittles is ill and we had to call a doctor out.



    Rose:
    Oh no!



    Mrs. Bedwin:
    Um, we have to hide Oliver!



    Giles:
    No. You don't have to hide him mam. The boy's in my room. The master hasn't been in my room since the turn of the century.



    Brittles:
    But there's a boy in your room now Mr. Giles.


    [a loud crash is heard off camera]



    Brittles:
    . Ow!

  • Brownlow:
    Oh you're here again. Someone is sick I would hope?



    Dr. Losberne:
    Brittles, Mr. Brownlow.



    Brownlow:
    Brittles is never ill. Somewhat disturbed, yes, but never ill.

  • Brownlow:
    You state my case very well Dr. Losberne. So well in fact that I feel I could rest the case right now. But I won't, you see, I knew the man who Rose's sister was in love with. He was my best friend. He was charming. He was delightful company. He was witty. He was handsome. And he was feckless! And he was hopeless! And he was a fool! But above all, Losberne, he was irresponsible! Do you want me to give you chapter and verse?



    Dr. Losberne:
    Not really, no. In fact not at all sir.



    Brownlow:
    Well how unfortunate for you because that's exactly what I'm going to do!

  • Brittles:
    What happens if we see someone?



    Giles:
    We shoot them.



    Brittles:
    What happens if we know 'em?



    Giles:
    Depends on whether we like them or not.



    Chertsey Cook:
    Giles! Brittles!


    [Brittles fires a shot and startles the cook]



    Chertsey Cook:
    Was that you Brittles?



    Giles:
    You, you've just tried to shoot cook!



    Brittles:
    I know. But I don't like cook she picks on me.

  • Fagin:
    [the boys crowd around Monks] Boys, unhand that man, you don't know where he's been.

  • Rose:
    You have to get that locket back.

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