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Quotes of Movie: "Night Court" [1984]

  • Mac Robinson:
    Bull has got himself a girlfriend.



    Dan Fielding:
    Really? Animal, mineral or vegetable?

  • [repeated line]



    Buddy Ryan:
    ...but I'm feeling MUCH better now!

  • Christine Sullivan:
    Oh I got married in a pancake house! What could be more idiotic?



    Dan Fielding:
    A chicken and waffle joint comes to mind.

  • [after Christine makes a joke]



    Harry Stone:
    She is to comedy what Roy Rogers is... to comedy.

  • Harry T. Stone:
    Fifty dollars plus time served.

  • Dan Fielding:
    [to Harry] If you weren't born, Walt Disney would have to draw you.

  • Harry Stone:
    [to a defendant] Well, I'm gonna find the defendant guilty of assault and battery, and Mr. Gunther, I am gonna give you two days in the slammer. Because you've got to learn, that this is not funny, no matter what you think of the man's musical talent!


    [we see the victim who has a harmonica stuffed in his mouth]



    Dan Fielding:
    Be grateful it was your mouth.

  • [Mac walks in on Bull who is leaning over the rear end of a horse]



    Bull Shannon:
    Hi, Mac; it's not what you think!



    Mac Robinson:
    God, I hope not!

  • [on trial are a group of beauty contestants who attacked their sneaky pageant coordinator]



    Dan Fielding:
    Your Honor, according to witnesses, Miss Congeniality led the attack with a kick to the groin.

  • Judge Harold 'Harry' T. Stone:
    If I had a dime for every woman...



    Assistant District Attorney Daniel Reinhold Fielding:
    You could make a phone call.

  • Lorna Huebner:
    Your Honor, my father's dying words were, "No matter what, don't make me go with Arlene."



    Arlene Huebner:
    Why, you lying...!



    Harry Stone:
    Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dying words? Is Dad dead?



    Dan Fielding:
    As a kipper on a cracker!


    [shocked looks]



    Dan Fielding:
    I'm sorry to say.



    Harry Stone:
    Well, the way you were just talking about him, I kind of got the impression that he was, you know, here.



    Bull Shannon:
    He is, Your Honor.


    [Bull holds up a small urn and places it on Harry's desk]



    Bull Shannon:
    This is Mr. Hubner.



    Harry Stone:
    Gee, he's a lot shorter than I pictured.

  • Bull Shannon:
    [approaches the cafeteria table where everyone is sitting. He is wearing boxers and a t-shirt] Hi, guys.



    Harry Stone:
    Bull?



    Bull Shannon:
    Oh, don't worry, Your Honor. I'm just having one of those dreams where you show up to work in your underwear.



    Harry Stone:
    Bull, this isn't a dream.



    Bull Shannon:
    It's not?


    [everyone shakes there heads]



    Bull Shannon:
    Yikes!


    [Bull runs out]

  • Yakov Korolenko:
    Go, Yankees! Lou Piniella!

  • [during a Christmas episode, Harry happens to look outside of his chambers, and sees a reindeer in the hallway]



    Harry Stone:
    [running back into chambers] Everyone, come quick, you have to see this!


    [everyone runs out into the hallway. Selma is standing where the reindeer was]



    Bull Shannon:
    It's Selma!



    Harry Stone:
    Selma, did you see that?



    Selma Hacker:
    I saw it, all right.


    [she begins to walk away. Everyone runs to where she was standing]



    Selma Hacker:
    If you think I'm cleaning that up, you're out of your mind.

  • Dan Fielding:
    You know, one of my college roommates actually contracted rabies. He died soon after. Got run over while chasing a car.


    [chuckles]



    Dan Fielding:
    Just kidding. He died of rabies.

  • Dan Fielding:
    I know every nook and cranny a body could fit into in this place.

  • Phil Sanders:
    That's the kind of failure I can only dream about.

  • Dan Fielding:
    I have stood next to death, and people liked him better.

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