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Quotes of Movie: "My Wife and Kids" [2001]
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Well, that's just an invitation for little boys to stare at your nippies. Well, guess what Junior? You're from the mean streets of Stamford, Connecticut. [referring to rap groups] They don't even sing anymore, they just say - "You know the words. Sing along." Last thing I heard her say was 'Junior, turn off those power rangers and go to bed.' Michael Kyle: When did she say that? Michael Kyle, Jr.: About five years ago. | |
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Junior, sex is a lot different than you probably imagine it. Michael Kyle, Jr.: Oh yeah, how? Michael Kyle: Well, for one, there's another person in the room. What is the smell in here? Michael Kyle, Jr.: Kady pooed it. Michael Kyle: It smells more like she decomposed. You getting high? Michael Kyle, Jr.: No. Michael Kyle: Why not? Don't forget to put the peanut in the peanut hole. But all the music you listen to is full of cussing. Why don't you listen to Marvin Gaye? He never swore... well, until his father shot him. Michael Kyle, Jr.: [Impersonating Claire] I'm Claire, and I think John is so cute. I like him so much I'm going to wear the big socks tonight. [Kady Laughing] Claire Kyle: That's not funny. Michael Kyle, Jr.: Well Kady laughed and she goes next. Kady: Ooh, That looks like the car from Chitty Chity Bang Bang. Michael: Yeah, If you're Spelling Chitty with an "S". Junior, we provide a roof over your head, food on your plate, and clothes on your back, and yet you wanna sit around complaining. If that's not good enough for you hey so long sucker, see ya, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista, kick rocks, and get the hell out. Michael Kyle Jr.: Well since you put it that way, I will. It's time for me to leave the nest, spread my wings, and fly. Michael Kyle: Yeah, well, it's going to have to flap real hard to get that big dodo egg head off the ground. Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: You did what? Michael Kyle: Actually, I didn't do anything. He said he wanted to leave, so I said goodbye. Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: No, no, no, I know you better than that, Michael. You didn't just say fine, did you? Michael Kyle: Well, actually I said "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista baby, kick rocks, and get the hell out," like that. Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: Do you mean to tell me that you told MY SON "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista, and get the hell out" - to MY BABY. Michael Kyle: No, actually I said "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista baby, KICK ROCKS, (pauses) and get the hell out. You forgot the "kick rocks." That's really important. Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: Michael, How did he react when you said "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, KICK ROCKS, and get the hell out?" Michael Kyle: Actually, you left out the "hasta la vista"... Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: Oh, Michael. Don't say it, again. [makes a diving motion] Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: I'm on edge, I swear. [Claire starts to confess that she ate Michael's pie while he and Jay were arguing] It was me alright! I ate your stupid pie! Michael Kyle: Oh really. Michael Kyle, Jr.: No, It was I who ate your stupid pie. Kady: I cannot lie. I ate your pie. Michael Kyle: Well, I can't deny, that I might cry. You wanna know why. 'Cause I still don't know who ate my pie! Why don't you get your own boyfriend, and lay off mine? Michael Kyle Jr.: Maybe i will! Michael Kyle: This isn't funny Jay, what am i supposed to tell them at work? Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: Tell 'em the truth, tell them your son *knocked* you out! Michael Kyle: I'd rather say you did it Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle: Oh, that's even better, see i had to lay down the law, he didn't respect his woman, when i say i want my diamonds, i want my diamonds now! Then there was one, the dumb one. So you want me to marry a guy, who beats me? Michael Kyle: Only if you love him, son. [Jay is earning a Master's Degree in Psychology, but when practicing on family, Micheal wants her to quit] Well, maybe you should get a master's degree in *sex*, that way I'll be behind you all the way! | |
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