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Quotes of Movie: "My Family" [2000]

  • Susan:
    I have decided to put an end to this madness that is ruining all our lives.



    Michael:
    You're going to kill dad?

  • Susan:
    [to Ben, after her mother leaves the house] Don't even think about locking that door!



    Ben:
    Locking it? I was thinking of bricking it up!

  • Susan:
    My mum's like a horror movie. If we all don't stick together, she'll pick us off one at a time.

  • Ben:
    [to Abi] You, you're unhinged!


    [to Michael]



    Ben:
    You, you're demented!


    [to Nick]



    Ben:
    You... you're just you!

  • [to Ben]



    Michael:
    Sometimes you're treating me like I'm you.

  • [repeated line]



    Ben:
    Mikey, Mikey, Mikey!

  • Roger:
    You'll kill me one of these days.



    Ben:
    That's the plan.

  • Abi:
    Thanks, Ben. You've been saying really nice things lately... Actually they're the same things but without the sarcasm.

  • Michael:
    If I was smart, I'd have run away with the circus already.

  • Susan:
    And the plastic lobster is still there - not that I've seen it before...

  • Ben:
    [pulling Abi's arm] I'm desperate!



    Roger:
    [pulling Abi's other arm; shouting] Then buy a magazine!

  • Ben:
    [grabs Michael on the neck from behind] Right, gotcha!



    Michael:
    How long have you been waiting there?



    Ben:
    Hours. Where's my £60?



    Michael:
    I put it in the bank.



    Ben:
    At this time of night?



    Michael:
    Erm... I did it online.



    Ben:
    [looking puzzled] I gave you cash!



    Michael:
    It's got a holographic modem.



    Ben:
    What's that?



    Michael:
    Well... you scan the bank notes into the feeder slot, which then converts them into cyber-pennies... which, then transmatterates them directly into my account.



    Ben:
    Well, transmatterate them back.



    Michael:
    Erm... you can't do it twice. They'll disintegrate.



    Ben:
    Come on! You can't fool me! I'm not your mother! If you can transmatterate them one way, you can transmatterate them back! Now, where's my cash?

  • Janey:
    Abi, can you keep a secret?



    Abi:
    Oh, yeah. I've never told anyone about Michael's vandalism charge.



    Michael:
    [from the other room] Hey!

  • Abi:
    Don't worry, Janey. I had a fantasy man for about a year. They always leave you. The sex is great, though!

  • Ben:
    She's got the worst set of teeth I've ever seen, and I'm a dentist.

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