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Quotes of Movie: "Muppets Tonight" [1996]
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Here on Monday we have "Murphy Prawn" and "The Single Duck in the City with his Apartment Full of Friends." And for this evening's show right now we have "TBA" followed by the "X-Flies"... Kermit the Frog: Excuse me Gonzo, but "TBA" means to be announced which means we don't have a show for tonight! So, who want's to volunteer to host this new show? [everbody runs out of the room] I've always wanted to have my own show. Man, this is great! So when does it start? Kermit the Frog: In about thirty seconds. [Clifford faints] Kermit the Frog: Clifford, that's the supply cabinet! Clifford: I know that, it's a nice supply cabinet too. Nice and quiet. Let's cue the announcer shall we. Kermit the Frog: Cue the announcer. Nigel: Go Go Go Go Go Go Go! [supply cabinet is pushed on set] Announcer: And now it's time for "Muppets Tonight" and here's the host of our show - Clifford! [Rizzo knocks on supply cabinet door] Rizzo the rat: You're on, Clifford! | |
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I'm Clifford, your homey made of foamey! Clifford, your problems are solved, I've got an act thats gonna knock your socks off! Clifford: Well, put them on, man. The Great Gonzo: Your socks? Clifford: No, the act! The only thing that's gonna save us now, Rizzo, is if a world famous superstar walks through that door... [door closes on Clifford] Rizzo the rat: Or that door. Man, you cats are stupid! Randy Pig: Oh, well, you are the stupid one because we are not even cats. Andy Pig: Yes we're... dogs. Randy Pig: Look a fire hydrant! Nurse, there's something wrong with this TV. Statler: What's that? Waldorf: It's on! I hear you've been having some problems. Clueless: It's my wife's sister. She's eating me out of house and home. Polly: Ate all the groceries, huh? Clueless: No, she ate my house which of course is my home! I think the igpays are a little upidstay. Andy Pig: He speaks the ancient tongue! Andy Pig, Randy Pig: Ereway otnay orthyway! Ereway otnay orthyway! [Pierce Brosnan and Kermit the Frog are in Bunsen's lab, Pierce Brosnan is cleaning his ear with a cotton swab] Now, where did I put my Super Ray of Death Cotton Swab? Kermit the Frog: Say, what? Bobo the Bear: [a red ray comes out of his opposite ear and blows a hole in the wall, seen through the hole, Bobo the Bear is taking a bath] Hey! This is the reason I moved out of the Y! Studio manager: I thought he was going to sing a country song. Rizzo the rat: Yeah, but he didn't say which country. [driving a speedboat] Look, no hands! [takes off his glasses and tosses them] Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: No eyes! Cindy, if you're a supermodel, what are your super powers? Cindy Crawford: Well? I can do this. [Lasers come from her eyes and Andy flashes and gets vaporized] Randy Pig: Cool! oh Cindy! Cindy! Do me! Do me! Please Cindy! [in Dragonheart spoof] Froggo, your reign of terror is over! I, Circumference of the Circle shall fight you to the death! Kermit the Frog: [offscreen] Oh, get over thyself! Dennis Quaid: [surprised] Hey, you don't sound like Sean Connery! Kermit the Frog: Yeah, well, you don't sound like Jerry Lee Lewis! Dennis Quaid: Ooooh, getting personal! Stand back, everyone! | |
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