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Quotes of Movie: "Monster Garage" [2002]

  • Narrator:
    Speaking for gearheads and garage mechanics everywhere, Jesse answers that one-word question: why?



    Jesse James:
    [innocently] 'Cause it's wrong.

  • [the crew tries to see if their Lincoln stretch limo has enough ground clearance]



    Wink Eller:
    Cool. She's holding it. She is holding it.



    Announcer:
    Six inches is plenty of ground clearance.



    Wink Eller:
    She's gonna ride like a Cadillac.



    Steve Dennish:
    Lincoln would like to hear that.

  • [the crew receives a propane burner while turning a Geo Tracker into a hot air balloon]



    Chopper Dave:
    It looks like it could destroy something.



    Narrator:
    The first thing they destroy?


    [the burner's $5160 price tag is displayed]



    Narrator:
    The budget.

  • [repeated line]



    The Big Schwag:
    [shouts] You gotta be kidding me!

  • [opening narration]



    Narrator:
    Join Jesse and his crew of maverick mechanics as they rip, grind, and burn, turning ordinary street vehicles into monster machines in the Monster Garage.

  • [Jesse drags over a beer keg]



    Jesse James:
    Two years of college and this is all I learned.

  • Narrator:
    Our team tears the RV, putting the "wreck" in "recreational". This thing really is fun.

  • [the "Grim Ripper" is loaded into a car shredder]



    The Big Schwag:
    Wait a minute! It just occurred to me! This isn't a funeral! This is an execution!

  • [closing narration]



    Big Schwag:
    Jesse's got metal to burn and sparks to fly! The next Monster Garage challenge... is just... around... the bend!

  • Jesse James:
    I dont praise the lord, as much as I praise the lowered.

  • [Jesse cuts the exhaust off of a car and it hits him in the face.]



    Jesse James:
    Now, I know why I'm not a car mechanic anymore. Oh, wait, I guess I *am* a car mechanic.

  • Jesse James:
    Looks like we're building something a little kid would draw.

  • Jesse James:
    [crossing himself] Is that the old "My head, chest, and both arms hurt"?

  • Jesse James:
    [checking off an imaginary list after crashing the Hell Camino in a figure 8 race] Things to do today: ram Billy!



    "Barefoot" Billy Ziemann:
    [doing the same] Things to do today: train rookie!

  • Jesse James:
    [someone has just finished explaining the rules of a steamboat race] What do we get if we win?


    [the crowd laughs]

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