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Quotes of Movie: "Monk" Mr. Monk and the Candidate:

  • Adrian Monk:
    [surveying a crime scene] Stove.



    Lt. Gitomer:
    Over here. It's in the kitchen.



    Adrian Monk:
    No... I mean MY stove. I-I think I left it on.

  • Captain Stottlemeyer:
    [referring to Monk] How does he do it? I have two eyes, I see everything that he sees, but... I don't see what he sees.

  • Miranda St. Claire:
    Is-is this a joke? Someone tries to kill my husband and you send in Rain Man?

  • Miranda St. Claire:
    Tell me, Mr. Monk, do you lie awake at night thinking of ways to disrupt my husband's campaign?



    Warren St. Claire:
    Now, Miranda...



    Adrian Monk:
    No ma'am, I lie awake at night and try not to think at all.

  • Adrian Monk:
    How tall are you?



    Captain Stottlemeyer:
    Six feet.



    Adrian Monk:
    Really.



    Captain Stottlemeyer:
    Five-eleven.

  • Miranda St. Clair:
    I'm told you're germophobic, afraid of the dark, heights, crowds and... milk.



    Sharona:
    We're working on the milk. He's making good progress on milk.

  • Adrian Monk:
    Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not...

  • Sharona Fleming:
    How does it feel, always being right?



    Adrian Monk:
    Terrible.

  • Sharona Fleming:
    What is THAT?



    Adrian Monk:
    It's something called "style". You wouldn't understand.

  • Sharona:
    You're going straight to hell.



    Adrian Monk:
    I am in hell.

  • Capt. Stottlemeyer:
    This isn't police work. This is Vaudeville.

  • Adrian Monk:
    [about a strange painting in a suspect's office] It's me, isn't it?

  • Sheldon Burger:
    I just came from the hospital. Bodyguard didn't make it. Mayor's on his way back from Sacramento. Look, I don't have to tell you, Captain. We're on a bus to hell. If we don't slam dunk this...



    Captain Stottlemeyer:
    I understand.



    Sheldon Burger:
    It's gonna look like we're not trying.



    Captain Stottlemeyer:
    I'm not an idiot, Sheldon! I've got every available man on the case.



    Sheldon Burger:
    No, you don't. Mayor wants you to bring in... your old friend.



    Captain Stottlemeyer:
    [disbelieving] MONK?

  • Lt. Randall Disher:
    Look who's here: "The Defective Detective."

  • Captain Stottlemeyer:
    I wanted to make this crystal clear; you're here because the mayor thinks you can walk on water. But you're a civilian now, Monk. When I'm in there, I talk, you say nothing, understand? Look, Monk, when I took your badge three years ago, I told you nothing would give me more pleasure than to see you reinstated, and I meant that. But you're obviously not ready.



    Adrian Monk:
    Is that you talking, or the uniform?



    Captain Stottlemeyer:
    l AM the uniform, Monk. You didn't understand that back when I was your watch commander.

  • Adrian Monk:
    How tall are you?



    Capt. Stottlemeyer:
    Six foot.



    Adrian Monk:
    Really.



    Capt. Stottlemeyer:
    Five-eleven.

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