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Quotes of Movie: "Langt fra Las Vegas" [2001]
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I like tits. Show me your tits; that's an order. It's smart, right bitch? Kenny Nickelman: Now starts the 400 metre run; of course nobody wants to lead since everybody wants to be behind each other to enjoy the view. | |
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[the employees are having a poll considering who among them are masturbating at home] Niels! Are you masturbating? Niels Buckingham: [beathing heavy] Yes... would... you mind closing the door? I think you should go and wash your filthy vagina with water and soap. Liva Iberhart: What did you say? Niels Buckingham: *Mouth*! I mean mouth! [chewing] Flies? I thought it was raisins. I don't wanna get caught with my pants down... Erik Noppenau: One thing at a time, Robert... one thing at a time. [Casper and Kim just had sex] I couldn't believe that sex could be *that* bad. Casper Christensen: Sex? It had nothing to do with sex... It was more like an asthma attack! [Liva has been cheating on her boyfriend with Casper] I gotta hurry back home, Henrik is usually in the mood for sex every second year... that fits well right now! Bravo Casper! You delivered a fabulous show! Casper Christensen: [optimistic] Yeah? Did you think it was fun? Niels Buckingham: You know I got no humor... But I could tell by the audience. Casper Christensen: So you have stopped considering firing me? Niels Buckingham: No, no... I still consider it... That's just the way I am... Bye-bye Niels, could I, because of the International Woman Day have a hotline where women could phone me and I could have a little chat with them? Niels Buckingham: Don't you think you should leave that to me? What makes you the expert on women? Kim Dorowsky: Well, now I am a woman myself, Niels... I shave my legs, wear a dress and sit down when I pee. Niels Buckingham: Well, that still doesn't rule me out... [telling about self-defense] Then it's not so easy being a rapist any more... Niels Buckingham: That's right Lisa... that's one of the good, ol' handyworks that are on their way out. I can easily combine a good and healthy working environment with a good and healthy sex life. Casper Christensen: [looks skeptically at him] Kenny Nickelman: Well, a damaged and minimal sex life. What's all this yelling about? Liva Iberhart: We're fresh out of water. Niels Buckingham: Where? In your vagina? Lisa Bremer Harris: Niels, please! Niels Buckingham: Sorry, girls, don't know what's gotten into me... Casper Christensen: [to Robert] What's so funny about that Robert Lange Dølhus: I don't know... Why, you look just awful, Casper! You look like a body that has been lying on the E45 freeway for 73 hours... That reminds me to change the tires on the Volvo. Why are you such a homophobe Kenny... There's nothing wrong in being gay Kenny Nickelman: It's unatural...against the Bible Casper Christensen: How? Kenny Nickelman: Casper, use your brains... In the Bible it was Adam & EVE, it wasn't Adam & Harvey Do you got a pain in your bag? Niels Buckingham: Yes... I was looking for some wonderful Belgium chocolate when I suddenly saw this little naughty boy peeing right in the middle of the Square! I tried to lift him but he wouldn't move. Lisa Bremer Harris: You've tried to lift mannequin Piss? Niels Buckingham: Well miss smart-mouth, you should try yourself how hard it is to spot the difference between a boy and a statue when you get pissed all over your face! Look...I'm a little horny right now so I'll just go and pick up a chick and screw her and then we can grab a beer afterwards, okay Kenny Nickelman: That's been noted sir! Casper Christensen: All right champ! [Casper leaves] Kenny Nickelman: [talking into a tape recorder] Don't envy him, Kenny! You can do a lot of other things, you're fx. helping Kim with her book.... I ALSO WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH A RANDOM WOMAN! [Kenny puts the recorder in his pocket, gives a relived sigh and leaves] | |
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