Statistic
- Quotes: 124892
- Topics: 1241
- Proverbs: 1023
- Searches: 38679
Fashion
Subscribe
Vote
Total 31307 votesAnd 76746 points
Quotes of Movie: "Jackass" [2000]
|
And today, good sirs, I will stick my lance far beyond where the light of our world shines, deep into the colon of our enemy. Sir Bam-a-lot, you will feel a lot of my lance in your ass. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but BEEP BEEP! I'm not into bestiality, but that's a good-looking animal. I'm Ryan Dunn, and I'm surrounded by morons. | |
|
I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together. Oh, dude ! My fucking tailbone is seriously broken ! I'm not even kidding ! Ryan Dunn: He broke his tailbone... That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one ? Oooh... we're gonna go down these hills and get hurt ! It's Ghetto Carts, baby! You guys are gonna hate me an hour from now. Johnny Knoxville: We hate you already. From my experiments with sexiness, it seems like a lot of people are afraid at first, and fear usually equals violence. But eventually I'll win their hearts, and instead of fighting, they'll want to make love to me. Johnny Knoxville: Even the men? Chris Pontius: Yep. I have a full grown, semi-nude man bound with duct tape in my truck and I was trying to get out to the desert to bury him. How do I get to 5 South? You know John Wayne died with over 63 pounds of impacted feces in his stomach? Johnny Knoxville: Why do you think they called him "The Duke"? That guy right there is the best damn roller skater ever. Maybe even in the whole town. Johnny Knoxville: Don't tell me to fuck off, say "Jackass". Johnny Knoxville: I feel like my eyes have gonorrhea. [while duck hunting] We killed Quack Quack! You were about five feet short of a ten-foot jump. You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter. Bam Margera: Are you cold? Ryan Dunn: You're an idiot. [while getting doused with red wine] Now I know what it feel like to be my liver! What does the smoke do? Norm the Beekeeper: Well, the smoke disorganizes and confuses the bees. Interviewer: Now, if we were to blow the smoke on Mr. Knoxville, would it confuse him? In the movie Cool Hand Luke, Paul Newman eats fifty hard boiled eggs without puking in one hour. We didn't think that was possible, so we staged our own little contest to see if any man OR woman could eat fifty eggs without puking. Well one thing; in our contest we encourage puking. [standing in the middle of the road] Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm about to get hit by a car real soon! Johnny Knoxville: Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to "Jackass"! Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass! [sticks out his tounge] I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jackass! | |
| Calendar | |
 |
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The Best Authors
- (1301)
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (714)
- Samuel Johnson (404)
- William Shakespeare (385)
- Oscar Wilde (370)
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (329)
- Benjamin Franklin (304)
- Albert Einstein (283)
- Henry David Thoreau (280)
- George Bernard Shaw (274)
Search
Pop by Searches
Fight cub 2 leo tolstoy 2 |
diary 165 life 90 delivery 56 sex 56 wives 56 Robbie Williams 54 skirts 52 friendship 52 key word 50 |
|
|
Best Quote
Worst Quote
