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Quotes of Movie: "In-Laws" [2002]
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Private convo time. Family dinners don't start until the whole family's here. Alex: Where's Daddy? Marlene: He's getting seconds. Call me old-fashioned, but when I was your age, nice girls brushed their hair after sex. Oh, well, the truth is, and we didn't want to worry you but, uh, we had a flat. Victor: Well, I don't see any grease on your hands. What'd you make my daughter change it? | |
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Marlene, uh, this looks delicious. Marlene: Oh, Matt, thanks. I would say it was effortless, but why lie? I broke my ass! Looks like the new Marlene's ready to climb the corporate ladder. Marlene: I'm not climbin' anything in this skirt. Unless, of course, I want to close the deal! Actually, now it's Stacy Pierson-Paulson. Peter's a partner at Patterson, Pennett & Paulson. Alex: Did you meet him picking pecks of pickled peppers? She could do back-flips on her side of the bed and you'd sleep through it. Matt: Why would I want to? Ma, remember when you were in high school and there was a group of popular girls that were, like, oblivious to everyone else? Marlene: No. It was just me and my friends. Well, one day I was in the locker-room; I was changing for gym and, uh, Stacy and her friends dropped by. Stacy looked at me and she said, "Alex, I don't know whether to call you 'Dumbo' for your ears or 'Gumby' for your body." So she compromised and for the rest of high school, her and her friends called me "Dumby." The trophies didn't move! The trophies didn't move! Marlene: Wouldn't it be more alarming if they did? The men of this household are marking their territory. If I were you, I would just try to stay out of the way and not get sprayed! I just crashed your Dad's car. Alex: Yeah, nice try. He told me how great you did. Matt: I'm serious. I smashed it pulling it into the garage. Then I kind of made it worse when I backed out. Then I took a deep breath, said, "Matt, relax," and smashed it again on the way in. Oh my God! Oh, God! Oh, my God! Oh, God! Matt: If that's a pep talk, it needs work! Where are you going? Matt: I don't know. Mostly I'll be sleeping by day and traveling under the cover of darkness. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm about to become a redhead. One time, one of my Dad's favorite armed truck guards left a bag of money on the curb and he forgot to tell him. My Dad was so hurt and so betrayed he couldn't even speak. He just stared into space and started singing. After that, the guard was dead to him. Matt: Was he dead to anyone else? Marlene, can you, uh, keep a secret? Marlene: No. When you have to tell Victor some bad news, is there anything you do or say to soften the blow? Marlene: Well, there is this one thing I do. Matt: Please, I'm desperate. Marlene: Usually I start by taking a bubble bath with him. Matt: Is there any special soap? This is partially your fault, y'know. Yeah, none of this would've happened if you had only said "no." Alex: When? Matt: When I asked you to marry me! You look good in leather. Well, everybody looks good in leather. Yeah, leather's lucky... well, except for cows. Marlene, is it me or does your sledgehammer clash with that bag? Marlene: I use this to hammer in my "For Sale" signs. You know, every time I swing it I feel like I'm driving in a golden spike on a whole new future and I smile. Although sometimes I hit a sprinkler line, then I just run! That's so funny! You take your aggression out on a toy! Victor: Be glad, Matt! Victor, does our insurance cover sledgehammer accidents? Victor: No. Why? Marlene: Nothing! Hey, honey. What dress do you think I should wear Saturday night? Matt: You're not wearing anything. Alex: Okay. Where am I going to tuck in my napkin? That's ridiculous! Alex: It's crazy! Matt: Insane! Alex: Totally psycho! Matt: Okay, if this argument has any chance, one of us is gonna have to disagree. | |
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