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Quotes of Movie: "I Dream of Jeannie" [1965]

  • Major Nelson:
    Jeannie, I never knew how much you meant to me until this happened. I'm never going to let you out of my sight again. Look, I even brought you flowers. Once I get you out of there, I'm going to take you out to dinner... the best candle lit dinner...


    [Dr Bellows, Major Healy and Harry walk in on Major Nelson talking to the moon safe]



    Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:
    A candle lit dinner...



    Major Nelson:
    I can explain, sir.



    Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:
    Being in love with a safe, they haven't got a name for that one.

  • Major Nelson:
    Jeannie's turned against me.



    Major Healey:
    She can't turn against you. Your her master. She as to obey you.



    Major Nelson:
    Yeah, who says so?



    Major Healey:
    I don't know, maybe it's in the genie manual.



    Major Nelson:
    Then how come she's deliberately disobeyed me?



    Major Healey:
    Maybe she wasn't issued a genie manual.

  • Blue Djinn:
    How does thou wish to die?



    Major Nelson:
    Of old age.

  • Jeannie:
    Master I have a mother-in-law problem.



    Major Nelson:
    You can't have a mother-in-law problem. We are not married.

  • Jeannie's Sister:
    You can make a man eat shredded cardboard, if you play the right tricks.

  • Nelson:
    How are things going?



    Jeannie:
    Terrible. I have to make dinner - I mean actually make it without magic. We are liable to die.

  • [Dr Bellows to Major Nelson after one of Jeannie's mishaps]



    Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:
    Some men dedicate their lives to science. Some men dedicate their lives to politics. I'm dedicating my life to understanding you.

  • Mrs Winker (house buyer):
    How many bedrooms do you have?



    Jeannie:
    How many would you like?

  • Jeannie:
    How should I punish him? Should I give him death of a thousand itches.



    Major Healey:
    How about scratches?



    Jeannie:
    Itches are much worse.

  • Jeannie:
    Master is football more important to you than I am?



    Major Nelson:
    Of course not, that's like comparing oranges and lemons.



    Jeannie:
    And I'm the lemon.

  • Jeannie:
    Let me see now. A six letter word for rat. M-A-S-T-E-R.

  • Jeannie:
    I would not be going out with your best friend if I were married to his best friend.

  • Officer Anderson:
    You know, this is a one way street.



    Jeannie:
    I was only going one way.

  • Jeannie:
    All I do is think and blink.

  • Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:
    You may be an expert in financial matters, Mr. Huggins, but I happen to be an expert in Major Anthony Nelson.

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