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Quotes of Movie: "Hey Arnold!" [1996]

  • [Grandpa believes he has died]



    Grandpa:
    Well, that's it. I must be in heaven. Oh, no! Oskar's here! This must be the other place!

  • Harold Berman:
    Wow, you really are crazy. Wanna join our club?

  • Helga:
    I am too a girl. I'm pretty. I'm feminine. I'm delicate.


    [Helga bumps into someone]



    Man:
    Oh, excuse me young man.



    Helga:
    I'm a girl!

  • Nick Vermicelli:
    This time I'll be a 50% partner.



    'Big' Bob Pataki:
    20.



    Nick Vermicelli:
    40.



    'Big' Bob Pataki:
    20.



    Nick Vermicelli:
    30.



    'Big' Bob Pataki:
    20.



    Nick Vermicelli:
    Deal.

  • Miriam Pataki:
    I have to go work. Somewhere.

  • [Harold gets hit with a baseball]



    Harold Berman:
    Easy squeezy lemon peasy.

  • Grandpa:
    Sounds like young Arnold's got another one of his complex labyrinthine conundrums of a boyhood problem.

  • [Arnold steps up to bat]



    Arnold:
    Wind's in the east. I should probably shoot for the gap between second and third.



    Gerald:
    Just try not to get hit, okay?



    Arnold:
    Yeah, good strategy.

  • Helga:
    Come on, come on.



    Harold:
    Alright already. Keep your shirt on, Helga, for all our sakes.

  • Arnold:
    Hey Grandpa, I've got a problem.



    Grandpa:
    Shoot it at me, short man.



    Arnold:
    Well, see, there's this big jerk at school, he says he's gonna...



    Grandpa:
    - says he's gonna beat you up, eh?



    Arnold:
    Well, yeah.



    Grandpa:
    Gonna give you 24 hours to dangle, eh?



    Arnold:
    That's right!



    Grandpa:
    Big guy, huh? Slow, but with lots of power. Squash you like a bug, eh?



    Arnold:
    Yeah, yeah! What should I do?



    Grandpa:
    I have no idea.



    Arnold:
    I've got to think of something, Grandpa.



    Grandpa:
    Well, you could skip town. But then you'd have to live the rest of your life in fear, always looking over your shoulder, waiting for... that day. You try reasoning with him? Oh, a moron, eh? Well Arnold, I wish I knew what to tell you. In eighty years I think I've only learned one thing for sure.



    Arnold:
    What's that?



    Grandpa:
    Never eat raspberries.


    [Grandpa holds his stomach]



    Grandpa:
    Gotta go!


    [Grandpa runs to the bathroom]

  • DJ Nocturnal Ned:
    It's 7:00 on KILL. This one goes out to Arnold, who's going to die in 2 hours, 6 minutes, and 47 seconds, from Helga who hates you.

  • [the kids are thinking of ideas for something to do]



    Curly:
    I say we paint ourselves with tiger stripes, and go free all the animals in the zoo!



    Helga:
    [sarcastically] Fine, Curly. We'll meet you there in an hour.



    Curly:
    [runs away cackling]



    Helga:
    Poor twisted little freak.

  • Gerald:
    Wanna go throw rocks at Helga throwing rocks at a dumpster?



    Arnold:
    Sure.

  • Arnold:
    It's not insurmountable.



    Gerald:
    Insurmountable? Man, you read too much.

  • Mr. Hyunh:
    How big was this punk?



    Arnold:
    Big.



    Mr. Hyunh:
    Big punk?



    Grandpa:
    Oh, simmer down, you hot-headed loony!

  • Arnold:
    Brainy? What are you doing here?



    Brainy:
    Um.


    [wheeze]



    Brainy:
    Something.

  • Grandpa:
    Everything in nature is beautiful. Unless it's ugly.

  • Arnold:
    What's scat?



    Grandpa:
    You know, scat. Droppings. Like what you're standing in.

  • Big Bob Pataki:
    Remember, we'll beat any advertised price. Unless it's lower.

  • [after Grandpa Phil gave him advice]



    Arnold:
    Thanks, Grandpa.



    Grandpa Phil:
    Sure, Arnold, anytime... Except next Wednesday at 3:30. I'm having a wart removed then.

  • Helga:
    Move it, football head!

  • [as they are about go into the Tunnel of Love]



    Harold:
    I don't want to go into the Tunnel of Love with you Rhonda!



    Rhonda:
    Oh I know you like me Harold!


    [as she grabs him in the ride and as they head off into the Tunnel of Love]



    Harold:
    NO I DON'T! HELP! HELP!

  • [as Harold and Rhonda are assigned to partner up taking care of an "egg baby"]



    Harold:
    Oh, come on, Rhonda, I know you like me!



    Rhonda:
    [nervously] What makes you think that?



    Harold:
    Remember that time at the Cheese Festival...



    Rhonda:
    [claps a hand over Harold's mouth] I thought I told you never to mention that night again.

  • [as Arnold & Eugene Horowitz are going in a Roller Coaster]



    Sid:
    He's a goner...



    Gerald:
    He's a brave boy...



    Harold:
    He's a saint he gave me his tokens...

  • [Censored Line as he is about to be denied entry of the Tunnel of Love]



    Sid:
    What, because I'm short means I can't get no action!

    • Movie: "Hey Arnold!" [1996]
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