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Quotes of Movie: "Hercules" [1998]
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Hades: They named me "Pluto"? What kind of a name is "Pluto"? I wouldn't call my dog "Pluto". I prefer to be called a "freelance web designer." Have your minions call my minions. Welcome to the Afterlife, the Unhappiest Place under Earth. | |
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You're so stupid, you think a minotaur is a short trip. For generations we've used the oracular reading of oxen guts to predict our student's careers, or lack thereof. Hercules: Eeeyugh. Couldn't you use some sort of aptitude test instead? Parenthesis: We tried that. The oxen guts were more accurate by 72%. Say, brother, did I ever tell you about when I invented the marine mammal? Hades: Uh, yeah, Poseidon, about a zillion times... Poseidon: 'Course, the first few drowned. You know, mammals. Then it hit me: blowhole. Chill out, Hades. [Blows out Hades' hair] Zeus: Look at that. I should make a wish. Hades: Lord of the Underworld: How about a death wish? Everybody's happy. Well, I'm happy. Everyone else is wracked with pain. Nice. I know you're out there, I can hear you rotting. My business is dead people. If I have no dead people, my business is dead, people. Oh, Hades. I was just looking for the Little Gods' Room. Hades: Go in the pool. Zeus: Is that sanitary? Why. Do they do that? What is that, some kind of verbal diarrhea? Oh, look, a flower. Nature's little reminder... that I LOATHE spring. Hi, kids! Name's Hades and I'm your new principal. I'll be instituting a new educational paradigm based on the three Rs: revenge, requital, and retribution. You'll love it. And get this. There is no homework. [Students cheer] Hades: Because you don't get to go home. Pain: He's going to kiss somebody? I have to get out more. I could do okay. C'mon, I haven't got all day. What am I talking about? I have eternity; I just don't want to spend it with you two. Herc, you need a guy who's in the know, someone who can plug you to the epicenter of the chic Greek elite. Hercules: Gee, that'd be great! Icarus: Yeah, wouldn't it? I'm not that guy. Remember: make war, not love. Jason of the Argonauts: Well, it's obvious what's happening here. These nymphs are trying to keep us from our quest. Bootes: No, that's just a bonus. Jason of the Argonauts: How's my hair? Black as pitch? Hercules: Ah, no. Sorry. Jason of the Argonauts: Oh well. I hear some fellow Grecians are working on a formula for that, anyway. Zeusapalooza? This is not dad's style at all. Cassandra: This isn't anyone's style. Icarus: Woo! Bring on the big Z, baby! [about to smite Salmoneus] Blasphemous infidel on the side pocket. I used to have vast knowledge. Now they pin my room number on me. Yes, my friends, there's a lot to be learned from our elders. For example, if I had listened to Daedalus and not flown into the sun with wax wings... Cassandra: ...You wouldn't be famous for doing something stupidly reckless. Icarus: Oh, man! I was this close to wisdom! This close! | |
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