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Quotes of Movie: "Grim & Evil" [2001]
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Son, it's awfully hard to read the paper through your butt. Grim: I hate you, I hate playing with you, and I especially hate your little girlfriend! Billy: Cheer up, Gri... hey! Mandy's not my girlfriend! She's just my FRIEND, who HAPPENS to be a girl, just like I HAPPEN to be a boy, and you HAPPEN to be a skeleton! It's the differences that make our planet so rich! So diverse! And wonderful! [Rainbows in background] Grim: I still hate you, though. Man's lonliness is only his fear of life. Grim: Oh, poo! Mandy: What now Grim? Grim: It's just that when you said we were going to a "mall," I thought we were going to see people getting teared limb from limb by a ferocious beast. Not this! | |
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You're watching paint dry? Billy: Shhhh... this is the best part! [to a "person scout" about selling cookies] You've got to know how to close a deal, small-fry. The Reaper always knows how to close a deal. We bad. My name is Grimmy and I've come to reap your immortal soul. Love is for the weak-minded. [Nergal opens a carnival at Billy and Mandy's neighborhood] You are unpleasant to be around... Nergal: Oh, come on, what I did to you? Nergal: [Grim and Mandy express hostile faces] He he he... That means excluding the kidnapping and the shocks? [on show intro] Sometimes you drink the milk, sometimes the milk DRINK you. [on show intro] Evolution takes no prisoners. I'm making picnic fixings! Grim: Oh no no no no no no no no. No. You remember what happened last time when you went on a picnic? [Flashback to Billy, Grim and Mandy at a picnic in the park] Billy: Please pass the egg salad. Gorilla: [pops out of the bushes] Raggle fraggle! [grabs Billy and runs away] Billy: Ahhhh! Somebody help me! [Grim and Mandy go back to eating, flashback ends] Billy: Yeah, that was pretty special. Wanna see my emotional scars? Mandy: [Comes into the room] What happened here? Did the refrigerator throw up? Grim: Billy here wants to go on another picnic. Mandy: Ugh. You remember what happened last time you went on a picnic? [Shows the flashback of Billy, Grim and Mandy having a picnic again] Billy: Please pass the egg salad. Gorilla: [pops out of bushes] Raggle fraggle! [Grabs Billy and runs off with him] Billy: Ahhhh! Somebody help me! [Flashback ends] Billy's Mom: [comes into the room] Are you kids flashing back in here? Grim: Yah. Billy wants to go on a picnic. Billy's Mom: Oh, no, sweetie! No! You remember what happened last time, don't you? [Goes to the flashback again] Billy: Please pass the egg salad. Gorilla: [pops out of the bushes] Raggle fraggle! [Runs off with Billy] Billy: Ahhhh! Somebody help me! [Flashback ends] Billy's Dad: [Comes into the room] What's going on in here? Billy's Mom: Talk some sense into your son! He wants to go on a picnic! Billy's Dad: A picnic? Don't you remember what happened last time? You remember, right? [Goes to flashback again, only this time, it shows Billy's dad putting on a gorilla suit behind some bushes] Billy: [off screen] Please pass the egg salad. Billy's Dad: [Leaps out of the bushes] Raggle fraggle! [is heard running off with Billy] Billy: Ahhhh! Somebody help me! [Flashback ends] Billy's Dad: Yup. I say we let the boy go! Why do you have to hate each other? Can't you see you're just like peas and mashed potatoes? Some people don't like them to touch each other if they're on the same plate! But it's okay. It's okay if they touch! Because they both get chewed up by the mouth, and sent down the esophagus and dissolved into the stomach and absorbed into the intestines and oh I won't go any further than that. But the point is, we're all just nutrients in the great big digestive system called LIFE! It made horrible mistake number one... it... bought... the house! It was not always like this... broken... hearted... wretched - is that pepperoni? Alas poor Billy had to walk the superflous streets of suberbia. A doomed husk of a child. Do not cry for him... DO NOT CRYYYY! And thus our story ends. If you've been paying attention it's because you're a nerd with nothing better to do. And what of Billy you ask? Well, he got himself a new unicycle... Billy: I'll call you... UNI! Random Bird: And what of everybody else? Who cares? They bore the snot out of me. THEEEE ENNND! Do you KNOW who I am? Billy: ...No. Trick or treat! Hey, guys! Guess who's going camping! [Camera pans out to reveal Billy tied to the roof of his car] Billy: MEEEE! Yes, Irwin's mom is actually a mummy. Nobody can tell you who to fall in love with. But we've managed to make it work all these years leaving a whole lot of questions that don't need to be answered. Billy: Yeah, but how and you and Irwin's mom...? Irwin's dad: Leaving a whole lot of questions that don't need to be answered. Fred Fredburger: Yes! Do you like lobster, Mr. Goodpoop? Principal Goodvibes: It's Good*vibes*, and yes, I love lobster. Eris: How about giant alien zombie lobster? Principal Goodvibes: Well, I can't really say I... [gasps] Principal Goodvibes: [giant lobster picks up a screaming Principal Goodvibes] Nergal Jr.: Can he... [he coughs] Nergal Jr.: Can he do that, Ms. Butterbean? [Sperg tosses an apple at Ms. Butterbean, who puts it in a drawer full of apples] Ms. Butterbean: Why... yes, yes, he can. He's bigger than you. So, we were thinking of setting you free. Grim: Really? Billy: Yeah. All you gotta do is say you're a little girl. Grim: I'm... a little girl. Mandy: I'm not sure I bought it. Billy: Yeah! Are you a *pretty* girl? Grim: [speaking in an ecstatic, high-pitched, feminine voice] I'm very pretty! Look at me! I'm *queen* pretty! Aren't boys just so dreamy? I can talk on the phone for hours about nothing! Mandy: Grim? Grim: Let's brush my hair! And paint my toes! Mandy: You can stop. We were only kidding. Grim: Oh, it's fun to accessorize! Let's all ride some magical pink ponies! I'll name mine Sparkles Fantastic! ["welcoming" Gen. Skarr to the neighborhood; shouting] CURSED! CURSED! Woe to all who live in that house, for they shall only know PAIN! *PAIN*! [He then speaks calmly] Old Crazy Man: Oh, and welcome to the neighborhood. Here's some nice gelatin the wife made. It's got bits of fruit and stuff. [He hands it to Skarr; followed by an awkward pause] Old Crazy Man: Okay, well, bye. [the old man leaves and shouts offscreen] Old Crazy Man: CURSED! | |
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