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Quotes of Movie: "Dungeons & Dragons" [1983]

  • [the kids have had enough of Venger foiling their attempts to get home]



    Eric:
    It's all Venger's fault! We oughtta do something about that guy.



    Hank:
    Eric's right!



    Eric:
    I am?



    Hank:
    Yeah, and we ARE going to do something about him!



    Eric:
    We are?



    Hank:
    That's right. The only chance we have of getting out of this world is if we take care of Venger once and for all.



    Shiela:
    But how? Nobody can stop Venger. Not even Dungeon Master!



    Hank:
    Wrong. There's one thing that can. A dragon: Tiamat.



    Eric:
    [shocked] You're crazy...

  • [Kelek has just been busted for trying to usurp Venger's power]



    Bobby:
    [sing-song] Somebody's gettin' in trou-ble!

  • Presto:
    Sorry Eric... my hat doesn't work that well when it's wet.



    Eric:
    Or any other time!

  • [Bobby is walking with Sogor, both appear to be the same age]



    Sogor:
    How old are you Bobby?



    Bobby:
    Almost ten



    Sogor:
    And you're allowed to go out on your own? I wasn't allowed to go out on my own till I was 55!



    Bobby:
    Fifty-five? How old are you now?



    Sogor:
    Seventy-four.


    [Bobby drops his firewood and takes off running]

  • Presto:
    My hocus-pocus is out of focus.

  • Eric:
    Now what?



    Presto:
    Now we find Tiamat.



    Eric:
    How do we know which one is her?



    Presto:
    Easy, dummy. She'll be the one who attacks us.

  • Eric:
    We're outnumbered ten to one!



    Diana the Acrobat:
    Alright then. You take two, I'll take eighteen.

  • Shiela:
    We're trapped in another world.



    Eric:
    What else is new.

  • Hank:
    The orcs took Bobby and me to their camp. I managed to escape, but Bobby couldn't.



    Shiela:
    That's a lie!



    Diana the Acrobat:
    Sheila! What's the matter?



    Shiela:
    I went to the orc camp. I saw Hank talking to the orcs. They were planning our capture. He's working for them now!

  • Shiela:
    Make him tell what he did to Bobby! Where's my brother?



    Diana the Acrobat:
    Take it easy, Sheila.



    Shiela:
    But what if treason isn't the only thing he's guilty of? What if he's guilty of...

  • Venger:
    Beware what you say when you speak of magic, wizard, or you shall see who has the greater power.

  • Dungeon Master:
    Evil energy is like evil force. Change its direction, and it changes to good!

  • Venger:
    I will use the magic of your hat to add to my power!

  • Eric:
    Y-you guys grow up to be wookies?

  • Diana the Acrobat:
    Obi-Wan Kenobi he's not!

  • Eric:
    [speaking to Presto] Did you hear what he said? No telling *what* we may run into.



    Dungeon Master:
    [appearing from nowhere] No telling?



    Eric:
    [shouts in startlement] Dungeon Master! Do you always have to do that?



    Dungeon Master:
    No. Not always.



    Eric:
    Huh?

  • [The Young Ones are trapped by a pack of wolves; a howl in the distance makes them suddenly leave]



    Shiela:
    What do you think scared them off?



    Eric:
    Simple Sheila, they took one look at my great strength; one look at my grim weapon.



    Diana the Acrobat:
    And one look at your grody face.


    [Bobby laughs loudly]

  • Hank:
    [addressing some Bullywugs] Hello. We come in peace.



    Eric:
    A lot of good *that's* gonna do.



    Hank:
    It always works in the movies.

  • Dungeon Master:
    Just follow that path. But beware. You must never touch - the beauty - that breathes the beast.



    Eric:
    Beauty that breathes the beast? What is that, Cinderella with bad breath?

  • Golem:
    Golem destroy intruders.



    Bobby:
    Oh yeah? Not before I do a Steve Garvey number on your nose!

  • [Bobby has been bitten by a dragon turtle and is sick]



    Diana the Acrobat:
    There must be something we can do. We can't just let him get worse.



    Dungeon Master:
    The only cure - is the foot of a Yellowdragon.



    Eric:
    Oh great. What are we supposed to do? Waltz up to a yellow dragon and ask to borrow his foot?

  • Shiela:
    I think we're lost.



    Presto:
    I think we're exhausted.



    Eric:
    I think we're stupid.

  • Eric:
    [sarcastically] This is great. Now we're looking for a bunch of crybabies and a yacht club.

  • Hank:
    I wonder why there are no guards around here.



    Eric:
    Because nobody is stupid enough to ever try to come here, that's why.

  • Dungeon Master:
    However, through defeat you shall find victory.



    Diana the Acrobat:
    What's that supposed to mean?



    Eric:
    It means the warranty has run out on Dungeon Master's brain.

    • Movie: "Dungeons & Dragons" [1983]
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