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Quotes of Movie: "Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man"
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Last one in the car mops up the vomit. Did I ever tell you my Dad's last words to me? Cornfed: "Careful, son, I don't think the safety is on." Duckman: Before that. I can't believe they shared their girlfriends with us, Corny. I just spent the night with the sexiest, most insatiable, voluptuous, adventurous, least-inhibited woman I've ever met. If she didn't suddenly get a headache... woo hoo. there's no telling what wild and tawdry escapades we might have experienced. How was your night? Cornfed: Like yours... minus the headache. I am here to introduce you to the greatest advance in civilization in this century. Ajax: CONDOMS. They held a vote at school. | |
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The students, professors, all animatrons. Robots. Duckman: Even Deanna, that lovely coed? King Chicken: Nope. I've never been able to make breasts. She's a muppet. Duckman: Ohh. To be Frank Oz for a day. Once bread become toast, it can never go back. If they made tugboats bigger, they could be the boats other boats tug. Once again, the U.S. is spending millions to oust a puppet they spent millions to get into office. They'll spend more millions on the coverup to hide having spent those millions and even more millions to discredit members of the media who report otherwise. It's a good thing they print their own money. If words were cherry stems, my tongue would be in Sherilyn Fenn's mouth. She's a bigger ripoff than those talk-to-a-nympho-in-prison hotlines that double charge you on your phone bill when they know you can't do a thing about it 'cause you can't tell anyone you called them in the first place... so I heard. I'm tempted to die to I can get a head start on spinning in my grave. My greatest fantasy involves you, some sausages down your pants, and pack of starving Rotweilers. Can you believe it? Five hundred bucks for a parking ticket? Cornfed Pig: You parked in a handicapped zone. Duckman: Who cares? Nobody parks there anyway, except for the people who are supposed to park there and, hell, I can outrun them anytime. We saw a movie where, during a drill, terrorists took over a city. Ajax: Well, I saw a movie where, during a drill, terrorists took over a city. Charles: Ajax, that's the same movie. Ajax: They're all the same movie. That's why Hollywood movies are like visits from old friends. You know, Dad, I think you're my favorite dad. Duckman: Only. Ajax: Only what? Duckman: Only dad. Ajax: Only dad what? I like toast. Its the muffins that must be stopped. Remember kids, when you get to prison attach yourself to the biggest, toughest, meanest looking goon you can find. You don't wanna wind up as just anyone's bitch. Dwaah. Dwaah. A thousand times, DWAAH. Damn ninjas are like roaches in this city. It's not too often that you see one horse's ass on top of another. DWAAH. Duckman: Hey. Get your own wacky scream. Duckman: What the hell are YOU staring at? I will rise from the ashes like a Tuscon. Mr. Duckman, if the body is a temple, then you've committed countless acts of desecration. Miracle Schmiracle, I bet those mindless pod people who believe in that thing still wait up for the tooth fairy. Fluffy: Why shouldn't they? Duckman: Because he's rotting in a Turkish jail. | |
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