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Quotes of Movie: "Dinnerladies" [1998]

  • Stan:
    Male maintenance person entering female lavatory area!

  • Bren:
    Have you never seen "Vertigo"?



    Norman:
    Seen it? I've got it.

  • Tony:
    Are you all right Bren? Did you get any?



    Bren:
    What?



    Tony:
    At the weekend! Did you get any?



    Bren:
    Any sex? No I had to go to the laundrette. Did you, Tony?



    Tony:
    Hollow flipping laughter.

  • Tony:
    All a bloke really wants for Christmas is a voucher that says, "Take this to 32 Sycamore Avenue. Mrs. Janet Farnesbarnes will be stark naked waiting for you. You can have as long as you like, you get a cup of tea afterwards and you don't have to have a bloody conversation!"

  • Tony:
    I'm a lonely celibate, me. I do nothing. I go home and fry eggs. If I ever do get a girl to come back to my place I won't know what to do with her. I'll be flicking hot fat at her with a spatula.

  • [Dolly has revealed that she and her husband are going on a luxury cruise]



    Jean:
    Luxury, my do dah! It's a converted World War Two aircraft carrier!



    Dolly Belfield:
    We have our own suite, our own balcony...



    Jean:
    Your own Bofors Gun!

  • Anita:
    [on the topic of Christmas decorations] Is genitalia the silver stuff you drape over the branches?

  • Philippa Moorcroft:
    [running late for a Millennium celebration] Never mind your coffee, get in the bloody, bloody, bloody frigging car!

  • Jane:
    [on the subject of the holiday to Marbella] So is there anyone you want to bring?



    Tony:
    What "bring" bring?



    Jane:
    No not "bring" bring, just bring.



    Twinkle:
    You can get phones that do that.

  • Tony:
    [last scene of the series] Do you think we'll live happily ever after?



    Bren:
    No, I think we'll go on buggering about as normal.



    Tony:
    You do love me though, don't you?



    Bren:
    Of course I do.



    Tony:
    Make us a brew then!

  • Norman:
    I'm agoraphobic. I fell off a diving board in Guernsey!

  • Petula Gordino:
    [going to hospital] What ward will I be on?



    Paramedic:
    8



    Petula Gordino:
    Mixed isn't it? - might have a bit of sex.

  • Dolly Belfield:
    I didn't just come up the Manchester Ship Canal on a Ryvita, you know.

  • Stan:
    You don't treat a female woman like that.

  • Tony:
    I didn't go mad this morning and order one old lady instead of a load of broccoli?

  • Stan:
    [on being asked what his Millennium regrets are] I failed to exploit the potential of the cross-head screwdriver. It was publicly pretty shameful.

  • Stan:
    That's Frank Sinatra on toast, is that.

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