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Quotes of Movie: "Designing Women" [1986]
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Suzanne, if sex were fast food, there'd be an arch over your bed! Oh, Julia, just so you know, the next time you see your lawyer on company time, it's going on your record. Julia: Just so YOU know... The next time you speak to me in that tone of voice, you're going to the moon. Anthony, where have you been all morning? Anthony: The question should be, "Where have I been all night?" I'll tell you where I've been. I was locked in the basement of Suzanne's house! Allison: Oh, were you locked in there? I thought I heard something. Anthony: Did it sound anything like someone shouting "Let me out of here, bitch!"? Bernice: Well, I think we should get some bricks and some baseball bats and go over there and teach them the TRUE meaning of Christmas. | |
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You look so beautiful. Mary Jo: Where do you want to do this: upstairs or downstairs? James Dean 'J.D.' Shackelford: Honey, I thought we would have some wine and music, then a littlle foreplay... Mary Jo: I was too embarassed to tell you... James Dean 'J.D.' Shackelford: Tell me what? Mary Jo: I have never had sex with anyone but Ted. James Dean 'J.D.' Shackelford: You haven't? Mary Jo: And I do not know anything about anyone else. I mean, Ted's idea of foreplay was holding me by the feet and saying, "Make a wish." I am going to work. It is great working at the library. If any of y'all want, I can get you free books! I got pulled over this morning for having all the mirrors in the Mercedes turned so I could see myself. I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you. Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart. Suzanne: Where are our seats? Julia: I don't know. If history teaches us anything, mine will be next to a baby who smokes. Suzanne: And I'll tell you something else. I am not eating octopus, walking around in my stocking feet, or takin' a bath with my neighbors no matter what those little people say. Julia: It's always stimulating to travel with the international voice of racism. In Texas, we have what's called the "Bubba Factor," where everyone is nicknamed Bubba. Except Ross Perot... they call him Mr. Bubba. [reading aloud a letter from Dash Goff] Yesterday, in my mind's eye, I saw four women standing on a veranda in white, gauzy dresses and straw-colored hats. They were having a conversation. And it was hot. Their hankies tucked in cleavages where eternal trickles of perspiration run from the female breastbone to exotic vacation spots that southern men often dream about. They were sweet-smelling, coy, cunning, voluptuous, voracious, delicious, pernicious, vexing and sexing... these earth sister/rebel mothers... these arousers and carousers. And I was filled with a longing to join them. But like a whim of Scarlett's, they turned suddenly and went inside, shutting me out with a bolt of a latch. And I was left only to pick up an abandoned handkerchief and savor the perfumed shadows of these women... these southern women. This Suzanne. This Julia. This Mary Jo and Charlene. Thanks for the comfort, Dash Goff... the writer. You know, Allison, you remind me of someone I saw on the Discovery Channel last night. Allison: And who might that be, Carlene? Carlene Frazier Dobber: Adolf Hitler. Suzanne: She said it was a gag gift. Julia: Well, it certainly made me gag. I think you should tell them to take their invitation, fold it in five corners, and stick it where the sun don't shine. protestor: 50 animals died because of that coat! Suzanne: Wanna make it 51? And why do you know all the capitols of every country, Charlene? Charlene: Because, Mary Jo, I love knowledge. As a matter of fact, I yearn for it. I guess I'm excited about seeing Mother again, visiting a totally new country. Of course, seeing Japan with Mother will be seeing the real Japan. Suzanne: Julia, I am just here to visit Mother and pick up a car. I do not want to have any cultural experiences. As for seeing the "real" Japan, I've noticed that whenever people start talking about seeing the "real" anything, what they're talking about, basically, is hanging around with poor people. Now, I say I don't hang around with poor people at home, why should I do it on vacation? We think that your friend, Monette might be practicing the oldest profession. Charlene: You think that Monette is a carpenter? I've learned one thing in my life; never fry chicken when you are naked. You know, Allison kind of reminds you of an elf; a mean, vicious little elf. I asked this Northern woman, "Where are ya'll from?" And she said, "I'm from a place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions." So I said, "Okay, where are ya'll from, bitch?" [when a flight attendant refuses to tell her the age of the plane they're flying in] What exactly are they supposed to do, wait for a wing to fall off and count the rings? [packing for a camping trip] Those are all my cosmetic bags. Reese Watson: No-one's that ugly. She's not only old, she's stupid! | |
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