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Quotes of Movie: "Dead Ringers" [2002]
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Welcome to Crime Watch. If this were the Avengers, I'd be Emma Peel. Nick Ross: Yes, and I'd be Steed's umbrella. I'm Kirsty Wark and welcome to Newsnight. I'm getting a bit up there but you still would, wouldn't you? [addressing the US nation] My fellow Uma Thurmans... Mr. President, military intelligence advises... George W. Bush: I learned a long time ago not to rely on intelligence. | |
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[a customer at a chemist wants some echinaecia] Here, she says she wants a bottle of "Euthanasia" or something... I require passage to Aldershot. Hello, I'm Kirsty Wark. You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot, merry Christmas your arse, I pray god it's our last. More on that story later. Hello, this is Kirsty Wark. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like: It's better than yours. Damn right, It's better than yours. More on that story later. [singing about the brightly coloured blobs] We're just like the others at first sight / But we don't infringe copyright. / Otherwise auntie BBC's arse would get sued by the teletubbies. Oh, wise Gandalf, where will my quest take me? Gandalf: Young Frodo, you must travel across the Misty Mountains, through the perilous forests of Fangorn, until at last you will set sight on Ithilien. Frodo: And when I get there, shall I find the One ring? Shall I bring it back to you? Gandalf: No, just get 20 Silk Cut and a box of matches. But don't tell Bilbo, he thinks I've quit. [Bush has just imprisoned Big Bird in Camp X-Ray] How else can the american people know that the next terrorist attack will not come from Al-Qaeda, but will be brought to them by the Children's Television Workshop? God bless pancakes. Bobo, are you a boy? [Bobo shakes his head] Narrator: Bobo, are you a girl? [Bobo shakes his head] Narrator: Are you totally asexual to make this show appealing to the lucrative middle-eastern markets? Thought so... My name is Greg Dyke. And I, am director general of the BBC. Shut it, I am! Now, bring back "Doctor Who"? OK. But there won't be any daleks this time. No. They've crossed me once too often! I have visited foreign land. Its name? Abroad. Osama Bin Laden: What you got there, little Sadd? Saddam Hussien: It's a fatwa, against Des O'Connor, what I wrote. Osama Bin Laden: A fatwa? Against Des O'Connor? Steady on, son, we're supposed to be unpopular in the West! You're watching BBC four. Quiet, isn't it? Well, Kirsty, the new extension on the M25 will run straight through the BBC newsroom. Kirsty Wark: But Prime Minister, aren't you just being vindictive against the BBC? Tony Blair: Nope. Kirsty Wark: Then why are you kicking my leg under the table? Tony Blair: Didn't. Mr Blunkett, surely policemen carrying stun guns isn't a bit over-opressive? David Blunkett: Let me make myself perfectly clear. I am only in this Home Secretary game for the arse-kicking. Hello, you're watching Newsnight review. I'm Mark Lawson, Britain's brainiest potato. Hello, you're watching Newsnight. Even when I'm with my boo, all I think about is you. More on that story later. Christmas is a time for remembering. So that's me f [beep] Ozzy Osbourne: ed. If there's a problem, yo I'll solve it, check out the hook while my DJ revolve it. More on that story later. My fellow umbrella stands. I know many of you will be astonisherated that the former Iraqer Defence Minister Sultan Akhmed, who surrendered in Mousehole on Friday, will not be charged with war crimes. But there is a very good reason why the CIA has granted Sultana Bran immunity from prostitution and that is because he has promised to lead us to Saddarm's weapons of mass destruction. What he has already told us about their location explains why we haven't found them. Turns out we've been looking in completely the wrong place. He says to find Saddarm's penguins of mass destruction my troops must first cross Jezaloor Gorge then press deep into the Fanghorn Forest. Beyonce that lies the Bridge of Kazad-dum and the fiery mount of McMordor where he says our quest will be at an end. Just as soon as we find this Gandalf guy, we're all set! Hello, and welcome to celebrity Crimewatch, with me, Fiona Bruce. Rhhrrr! Hear me roar! Nick Ross: And I'm Nick Ross. If wallpaper could speak, it'd say Hello, I'm Nick Ross. Welcome back to Location, Location, Location. I'm Kirstie Allsopp, tog value 14.5 | |
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