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Quotes of Movie: "Dad's Army" [1968]

  • [They are telling off a cheeky young boy]



    Jones:
    Ere. I know him. He's a cheeky little monkey. He comes into my shop when it's full of persons and shouts out, "Sainsbury's."



    Pike:
    Yeah. And he runs into our bank and shouts out, "National Provincial."

  • Mainwaring:
    [open's Frazer's money box] It's a brick. It's a damn brick.



    Frazer:
    Aye, aye. It's a brick. And yon vicar can have it for the fabric of his kirk.

  • Frazer:
    I am refusing to obey.



    Mainwaring:
    You'll be in charge of the liquor permits Frazer.



    Frazer:
    I'm right behind you Captain.

  • [repeated line]



    Mainwaring:
    Stupid boy.

  • [repeated line]



    Frazer:
    We're doomed!

  • [repeated line]



    Pike:
    Mum won't like it, Uncle Arthur.

  • Pike:
    I'll tell mum.

  • [repeated line]



    Wilson:
    Do you think that's wise sir?

  • Frazer:
    I never doubted you for a minute.

  • [repeated line]



    Hodges:
    Put that light out!

  • Frazer:
    Sorry about the candles. The blinds are a bit thin for the gleam of the gas light.



    Godfrey:
    Oh, I like candles. They're more romantic.

  • Jones:
    [speaking to the German from the Clock tower] Now my captain's going to ponder with you now listen.



    Mainwaring:
    Further resistance is useless. In the name of the king I demand that you surrender

  • Mainwaring:
    You can write what you like. You're not going to win this war.



    U. Boat Captain:
    Yes we are.



    Mainwaring:
    Oh no you're not.



    U. Boat Captain:
    Oh yes we are.



    Pike:
    [sings] Whistle while you work. Hitler is a twerp. He's half barmy, so's his army. Whistle while you work.



    U. Boat Captain:
    Your name will also go on zee list. What is it?



    Mainwaring:
    Don't tell him, Pike.



    U. Boat Captain:
    Pike.

  • Godfrey:
    Sir. I wouldn't want to roam the countryside ravishing maidens.

  • Jones:
    You know, when I was in the Sudan...

  • Jones:
    Well Mrs. Fox is an excellent cook. Aren't you Mrs. Fox?



    Mrs. Fox:
    Well. You've always been very nice about my dumplings.

  • Frazer:
    Captain Mainwaring. Did I ever tell you the story about the old, empty barn.



    Mainwaring:
    Um. No.



    Frazer:
    Would you like to hear the story about the old, empty barn?



    Mainwaring:
    Um. Yes. Listen everybody. Frazer's going to tell us the story about the old empty barn.



    Frazer:
    Right. The story of the old empty barn. Well. There was nothing in it.

  • Mainwaring:
    In the words of the great E.C Cochran. "Early to bed, early to rise, no jolly good if you don't advertise".

  • Polish Officer:
    You're supposed to keep a look out like soldiers. Not talk like old women. What are you names?



    Jones:
    Jones sir.



    Pike:
    Pike sir.



    Walker:
    Smith.



    Jones:
    Walker.



    Walker:
    Oh thanks very much.



    Polish Officer:
    It's no good you try and give me falseys.

  • Walker:
    They'll be no German planes over tonight.



    Jones:
    [Sirens start] Why did you have to open your big mouth?

  • Frazer:
    Captain Mainwaring. I've only got one thing to say to you. If you think you're getting your hands on my gold you can think again. I don't trust banks, I don't trust bankers and I don't trust you. That's all I wanted to say. Thank you.

  • Godfrey:
    Oh I do wish that Captain Mainwaring would let my sister Dolly knit him a suit of armour.



    Frazer:
    Never mind Godfrey son. If anything goes wrong we'll get him out with a tin opener.

  • Mainwaring:
    Where did you get that gun?



    Godfrey:
    Sorry?



    Mainwaring:
    The gun. Where did you get it?



    Godfrey:
    Well it belong to my friend actually.



    Mainwaring:
    Wilson.


    [Pulls him over]



    Mainwaring:
    He's got a friend... A gun.



    Wilson:
    Yes I see that sir.



    Mainwaring:
    Well. I am the commanding officer. You are the sergeant. We ought to have that.



    Wilson:
    Yes I quite agree with you sir.



    Mainwaring:
    Get it from him will you?



    Wilson:
    Don't you think it would have more authority coming from you sir?



    Mainwaring:
    No.



    Wilson:
    Right. Captain Mainwaring would rather like to have your gun.



    Godfrey:
    Who would like to have it?



    Wilson:
    Captain Mainwaring.



    Godfrey:
    Well he can't have it.



    Mainwaring:
    Hand over that gun Godfrey.



    Godfrey:
    I don't see why I should.



    Mainwaring:
    Are you refusing to obey an order on active service? You realise that we could have you shot for this?



    Walker:
    That'll be a bit difficult since he's that one with the gun


    [laughs]

  • [catchphrase]



    Mainwaring:
    I wondered how long it world take you to work that one out.

  • Mainwaring:
    Just testing you, Wilson.

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