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Quotes of Movie: "Clone High" [2002]
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Forget it, kid. No dry porking for you. Gandhi: (forces himself to undergo a JFK-like transformation) Fowah suppah I want a pawtty plattah. JFK: Wait a minute! Throw some 'er's and 'uh's in there. What's your hurry? So some of you may have been mean to a kid with ADD. That's not cool. Coffee? Anyone for - coffee anyone? All right, sorry. I like cotton candy. Check out my muscle. Potato chips. It's a Ferris wheel. So I guess what I'm trying to say is - plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons and make SUPER lemons. Do you mind? Some of us are trying to nail Catherine the Great here... Or should I say Catherine the So-So? | |
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I'm sorry, Wesley, you have ADD. Gandhi: Am I... dying? Mr. Butlertron: No, you have ADD - Attention deficit disorder, also you have ADHD, its hyperactive cousin. [menacing] I think this is an issue we should talk about... in person. Scudworth: [excited] Maybe we could have dinner. Perhaps the Olive Garden. It's like eating in the private kitchen of a delightful Italian stereotype! JFK: This is a very tough time for me, without Cleo I'm a broken man. Hey, let's all go swimming in my pool, and by pool I mean bath tub, and by swimming, I mean *sex*. Sorry my boy Salty Seconds hahahaha Folks, you all know me. I'm Toots, Joan of Arc's foster grandpa. Now I may be blind, but I can see certain things loud and clear. This is a room full of scared people making a decision based on fear and ignorance. Now when I left the house this evening I intended to go to Giovanni's Italian Restaurant. I can tell I'm in the wrong place. So, if you'll excuse me, I'll leave and let you get on with your meeting. Ponce, wake up. I know you're not really dead. Stand up or I'll sock you one. [punches Ponce de Leon] JFK: Oh, my God, I just killed my dead friend! Listen, we've all done things we're not proud of after a good cross country meet, but that riot was unacceptable. Scudworth: Unacceptable? Did you see the pool? They flipped the bitch! Announcer: Next time on a very special clone high, Will Abe and Joans student films reveal their true feelings for one other? How will Scudworth get himself out of another dangerous pickle? And what will become of Gandhi? I'd tell you but I haven't seen the episode yet, they were supposed to send it to me but there's this guy at work who totally hates me, if he gets me fired I'm going to kill his dog... Behold. I am SCANGRADE. Shadowy figure: Yes, after 50 years of standardized testing his power will be so great he'll... Scangrade: Take over the world. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Mr. Butlertron: Oh yeah what a great (beep)cking ideeeeeeeeeea. Scudworth: Mr. B. Language. Hey, you! Half Pint, Junior Mint, Pipsqueak, Tiny Tim, Yardstick, Snack Pack, Wee Fella, Brown Leprechaun. Gandhi: Are you talking to me? Are uh you drunk enough to sleep with me? [Joan of Arc kicks JFK in the face] JFK: Answer the question. I'll sleep when I die... Joan of Arc: You'll die if you don't sleep. Gandhi: Abe, remember how excited I was to see the movie "American Pie" that I didn't sleep the night before? And remember that scene where the guy has sex with the pie? Well, I don't. Because I fell asleep in the theatre. [dramatic pause] Abe: Why don't you just rent it? [Gandhi runs out of the room] Once I transplant these brainwave transmitters into the clones brains I will be able to see and hear everything they taste and smell. [pants fall down] [casually] Gandhi: Good thing there was nobody there to see that. Van Gogh: Oh yes... no-one indeed. Try and catch me, *bitch*. Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys. [car flips over] Now, let's talk about yesterday's horrifying shenanigans and feel free to say anything, 'cause today I'm going to be your *care-iff*. You see... Okay, moving on. I know teenagers have an awful lot of confusing feelings, but today it is *unlawful* to bottle 'em up. You gotta *let 'em out!*... like I do, every night between 10 and 10:15, on a pillow shaped like my father... So let's brainstorm some constructive ways we can express ourselves. What would the real Joan of Arc have done? Joan of Arc: She would have stood up and told them how she felt. Then she would have been burned at the stake. But what are the chances of that happening again? He, he. Mr. Butlertron: Thirty-eight percent. I'd like to introduce my film, "It Takes a Hero". Here is my soul, friends, my soul. Girl in Stands: [to a giraffe playing football] I love you. Bad Actor: [Giraffe wins the game and gets beamed into a spaceship] He's going. Home. Girl in Stands: I have your baby in me, giraffe! [film ends] Girl in Stands: [unenthusiastic clapping] "Black and Tan"! High five, racial pride! George Washington Carver: I don't like those movies, Mahatma. They're full of bad dialogue, contrived plot twists and they perpetuate racial stereotypes. [throws a ball of paper towards the garbage, misses] That's a nice stun gun Joan. [Joan zaps him] Joan of Arc: Teen crisis hotline. We're here because we care. | |
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