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Quotes of Movie: "Ally McBeal" [1997]

  • Ally McBeal:
    There's no sin in loving men. Only pain!

  • Ally McBeal:
    We're not only wired to want what we can't have, but we're also wired to want what we really don't want.

  • Ally McBeal:
    You only die once!

  • Ally McBeal:
    When guys are persistent, it's romantic, they make movies about that. If it's a woman, then they cast Glenn Close.

  • Billy:
    Why do therapists always have to talk about sex?



    Dr. Hooper:
    What can I say, Freud was a perv.

  • Ally McBeal:
    Law and love are the same - romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection.

  • Ally McBeal:
    I'm trying to desensitize myself to murder so I can be a better lawyer.



    Billy:
    Why don't you just watch the news?

  • John "The Biscuit" Cage:
    Let's not forget that Lizzie Borden was found innocent of killing her parents.



    Richard Fish:
    Oh, she did it; the jury just took pity on her for being an orphan.

  • Ally McBeal:
    I like being a mess. It's who I am.

  • Richard Fish:
    You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are. Fishism.

  • [a judge has just denied his motion]



    Richard Fish:
    Let the record show: dammit.

  • Nelle Porter:
    You having fun with this case?



    Ling Woo:
    It's okay. I prefer being a plaintiff, but a defendant's nice too. I get a martyr glow.

  • Ally McBeal:
    I've been dumped before, Renee. This isn't pain I'm feeling, it's nostalgia.

  • Judge Jennifer "Whipper" Cone:
    No, I don't think you're nuts, but I don't think that you have both feet on the ground either.



    Ally McBeal:
    You mean some people do?

  • Renée Radick:
    People think you're strange, you know. Just, just sit there and don't talk.



    John "The Biscuit" Cage:
    I am an enigma.



    Renée Radick:
    You're a cute little enigma.

  • Renée Radick:
    Well, don't get me wrong, Ally...



    Ally McBeal:
    Why does everyone say that to me? Do I get everything wrong?



    Renée Radick:
    No, it's just that what I am about to say may sound like an insult, so I want to buffer it.



    Ally McBeal:
    Oh, okay.



    Renée Radick:
    Emotionally, you're an idiot.

  • Ally McBeal:
    I mean, with all due respect, you sort of walk around with uppity breasts, and the hair flips aren't the most subtle. And your perfume - you could be flammable. Now what if somebody shut you down as a safety hazard, how would you feel then?



    Elaine Vassal:
    That was with all due respect?

  • Elaine Vassal:
    A lot of people forget what they're saying in a fit of rage, so I'll be happy to take the minutes.

  • Elaine Vassal:
    Ally's depressed about her birthday. I know, I've been listening in on her phone calls.

  • Elaine Vassal:
    I'd call her a tramp, were I one to judge.



    Ally McBeal:
    Yes, were you one.

  • Elaine Vassal:
    Sometimes she just *looks* snappish.

  • Elaine Vassal:
    Snappish!

  • [about Santa Claus]



    John "The Biscuit" Cage:
    A fat man, trying to squeeze through a narrow chimney, and I taunt him with Oreos and whole milk.

  • [Ally's psychiatrist plays a tape of people laughing]



    Dr. Tracy Clark:
    Sometimes when a patient says something so competely naive, I find that my own laughter just isn't enough.

  • Elaine Vassal:
    She's two-thirds of a Rice Krispie treat. She's already snapped, and crackled, and she's ready for the final pop.

    • Movie: "Ally McBeal" [1997] | [2] | [3]
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