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Quotes of Movie: "'Allo 'Allo!" [1982]

  • [repeated line]



    René:
    You stupid woman!

  • Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen:
    Guards! Arrest all Gypsies driving fire engines.

  • Capt. Bertorelli:
    Generalissimo, I embrace you.


    [bearhugs von Klinkerhoffen to his extreme distaste]



    Capt. Bertorelli:
    Mussolini has given me a present for you: the Italian War Hero Medal.


    [produces medal]



    Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen:
    Ah, the Italian War Hero Medal. I have never seen one of these...

  • [upon seeing Leclerc's latest disguise]



    René:
    Man of a thousand faces, every one the same.

  • Officer Crabtree:
    God Moaning. The resist-once have accqo-aired a bum. They are going to ex-plod the whaleway brodge.

  • Helga:
    What about the good news?



    Herr Flick:
    The good news is there is no more bad news.

  • René:
    We will stick out like a carrot in an omelet.

  • Edith:
    Listen carefully, Michelle said this only once.

  • Michelle Dubois:
    Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.



    René:
    Well, in that case, could you please speak slowly?

  • Lt. Hubert Gruber:
    You notice I am walking very gingerly.



    René:
    Do not tell me you have dynamite in your trousers.



    Lt. Hubert Gruber:
    You should not believe everything you hear, Rene.

  • [repeated line]



    Michelle Dubois:
    Listen very carefully; I shall say this only once.

  • Edith:
    Tonight I will sing as I have never sung before.



    René:
    What, in tune?

  • Col. Von Strom:
    Ah, Helga. What can we do for you?



    Capt. Hans Geering:
    Judging from past experience, very little.

  • [repeated line]



    Capt. Bertorelli:
    What a mistake-a to make-a.

  • [Rene is shaving in the bathroom when there is a knock on the door]



    Yvette Carte-Blanche:
    Rene, what are you doing?



    René:
    Cutting my throat, my love.

  • [repeated line]



    Roger Leclerc:
    [lifts glasses] It is I, Leclerc.

  • [in order to save RenĂ© from the duel with Monsieur Alphonse, the colonel intends to have a military practice at the site and kill him in the crossfire]



    René:
    I don't know, is it possible to just wound him?



    Capt. Hans Geering:
    With a 22mm shell, "just wounding" may be difficult.

  • Capt. Hans Geering:
    Rene, your wife has many talents.



    Col. Von Strom:
    Singing isn't one of them.

  • [Maria has disguised the airmen as waitresses, so RenĂ© mimes to them that they must not go upstairs with the Germans]



    Flying Officer Carstairs:
    [turning to Fairfax] What was all that about?



    Flying Officer Fairfax:
    I think he means that if Hitler comes in and wants us to go upstairs with him, we're not to go.



    Flying Officer Carstairs:
    Is he like "that," then?



    Flying Officer Fairfax:
    Oh, yes.



    René:
    [to the others] And they must not speak.


    [Rene turns to the airmen and mimes that they must be silent]



    Flying Officer Carstairs:
    What does that mean?



    Flying Officer Fairfax:
    Well, if we do go upstairs with Hitler, we're not to tell anyone.



    Flying Officer Carstairs:
    Well, it's hardly the sort of thing you boast about, is it.

  • [repeated line]



    Officer Crabtree:
    Good Moaning.

  • [to Herr Flick and von Smallhausen]



    Officer Crabtree:
    Good moaning, Herr Flock. And von Smellhorsen.

  • [Officer Crabtree is standing inside the pissoir, using it, when it is demolished by Edith driving Lieutenant Gruber's little tank]



    Officer Crabtree:
    [climbing out of the rubble] There is obviously no piss for the wicked.

  • [the airmen have come downstairs, minus their mustaches, dressed as serving girls]



    Flying Officer Fairfax:
    Carstairs, you're standing like a tart again.


    [Carstairs drops his arm to his side]



    Edith:
    [looking the airmen up and down] No one will suspect them. They look just like the staff.



    René:
    Edith, the Germans *take* the staff upstairs from time to time. If they took these two upstairs, do you not think that their suspicions will be aroused?



    Yvette Carte-Blanche:
    We are much more attractive. They will take us.



    René:
    And suppose there is a rush?



    Flying Officer Carstairs:
    What are they saying, Fairfax?



    Flying Officer Fairfax:
    I've no idea - it's all in French.

  • [the airmen have entered the cafe disguised as pallbearers, when a squad of Germans arrive]



    Flying Officer Carstairs:
    What's going on?



    Michelle Dubois:
    [English accent] Jerries. Keep quite or you'll be shot.



    Flying Officer Fairfax:
    [looking down] We're wearing the right clobber for it.

  • [repeated line]



    Capt. Hans Geering:
    [shouts] 'tler!

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