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Quotes of Movie: "3rd Rock from the Sun" [1996]

  • [after drinking household chemicals]



    Harry Solomon:
    Um, I've lost all feeling in the left side of my body.


    [Looks at upside-down can]



    Harry Solomon:
    Could somebody please call "116"?

  • Dick Solomon:
    Dr. Albright, have I been a perfect ass?



    Mary Albright:
    Aw, nobody's perfect.

  • Mary Albright:
    I think you look distinguished with gray hair.



    Dick Solomon:
    Thank you. I think you would look distinguished with gray hair, too.



    Mary Albright:
    No. When men get gray hair, they look distinguished. When women get gray hair, they look old.



    Dick Solomon:
    When women get breasts, they look sexy. When men get breasts, they look old.



    Mary Albright:
    Good point!

  • Dick Solomon:
    Guns don't kill people, physics kills people.

  • Dick Solomon:
    Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?

  • Mary Albright:
    Haven't you come to your senses yet?



    Dick Solomon:
    I will never come to my senses!

  • Dick Solomon:
    I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now *Senior* Security Officer.



    Sally Solomon:
    That'll look good on the ol' résumé!



    Dick Solomon:
    Tommy, you are now *Senior* Information Officer.



    Tommy Solomon:
    It's about time!



    Harry Solomon:
    What about me?



    Dick Solomon:
    Harry, you are now... Harold.



    Harry Solomon:
    Champagne for everyone!

  • Dick Solomon:
    There are two kinds of toilet paper in this bathroom. I, and I alone, get the fluffy kind.

  • Harry Solomon:
    I want to give mankind the gift... of electricity.



    Tommy Solomon:
    Harry, they already have electricity.



    Harry Solomon:
    Well! Then my work here is done.

  • Tommy Solomon:
    Harry, I need you to drive me somewhere.



    Harry Solomon:
    Nope.



    Tommy Solomon:
    You know I outrank you.



    Harry Solomon:
    Then, "No, sir!"

  • Vicki Dubcek:
    How dare you use your flesh to tempt me?



    Harry Solomon:
    Well, that's what it's there for!

  • [Dick is whining about is job]



    Harry Solomon:
    You know, Dick, when life gives you lemon, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.

  • Mary Albright:
    Just be glad you're at the top of the food chain and nothing eats you.



    Dick Solomon:
    What about the shark in Jaws. He's so scary.

  • Tommy Solomon:
    It's like watching Entertainment tonight in Carnegie Frickin' Hall!

  • Big Giant Head:
    It was a horrible flight! There was a man on the wing of the plane!



    Dick Solomon:
    The same thing happened to me!

  • [after finding out his father was "the Big Head"]



    Dick Solomon:
    I don't know who I am anymore!



    Harry Solomon:
    Well, your first name is Dick, and your last name is Head...

  • Harry Solomon:
    Women. You can't live with 'em, and yet they're everywhere.

  • Dick Solomon:
    Mary is too old for you.



    Tommy Solomon:
    I'm older than you.



    Dick Solomon:
    Well, then, you're too old for her. Either way, it won't work.



    Tommy Solomon:
    I make her laugh, Dick. She likes it.



    Dick Solomon:
    You shut your foul mouth!

  • [Harry is looking for a job offer in the newspaper]



    Harry Solomon:
    Here's a job that I can do. "Police are seeking third gunman." Tomorrow, I'm gonna march over to the police station and show them that I'm the man they're looking for.

  • Dick Solomon:
    Mary, there's something I have to tell you. I come from another world.



    Mary Albright:
    And that's news?

  • Sally Solomon:
    Isn't there a place where people can have mindless sex with different partners?



    Mary Albright:
    Yeah! It's called "the 70s."

  • Harry Solomon:
    So, when can I touch your breasts?



    Sally Solomon:
    Right before you die!

  • Harry Solomon:
    Hey world, I'm alive. And these pants are washable.

  • [Dick has entered the office wearing a tight-fitting construction worker's outfit and a tool belt]



    Dick Solomon:
    Whaddaya think, Nina? Ya like beefcake?



    Nina Campbell:
    Not from your funky bakery.


    [winks]

  • Dick Solomon:
    So, how many votes do I get?



    Volunteer:
    One.



    Dick Solomon:
    ONE? It doesn't matter that I'm brilliant?



    Volunteer:
    Nope.



    Dick Solomon:
    Have you noticed how tall I am?



    Volunteer:
    Everybody gets just one vote.



    Dick Solomon:
    You mean your vote counts the same as mine?



    Volunteer:
    That's right.



    Dick Solomon:
    You know, you're awfully smug for a man at a folding table.

    • Movie: "3rd Rock from the Sun" [1996] | [2] | [3] | [4]
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