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Quotes of Movie: "21 Jump Street" [1987]

  • Off. Doug Penhall:
    They're gonna have fireworks, free hot dogs. Even Sprinkles the clown!



    Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    Sprinkles? Really?

  • Off. Doug Penhall:
    You gotta turbo-charge the hair or something, Hanson. You look like Richie Cunningham.

  • Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    This is Jump Street Chapel, right?



    Off. Doug Penhall:
    Only if you're Catholic. Ioki, here, thinks it's a Buddhist temple. Me? I think it's a synagogue. You know, my mom's Jewish, which only means I get to celebrate both guilt and hell.



    Officer Harry Truman Ioki:
    Yeah, you see, his father used to be a priest, so don't play bingo with this guy. He's a killer.

  • Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    Okey-dokey.

  • Officer Judy Hoffs:
    How many times have you seen this?



    Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    122 times... but I don't watch the whole tape. I watch 3.3 seconds. 3.3 seconds that slipped through my fingers. 3.3 seconds where I could've done a thousand different things. But I didn't move. Do you know how many things you can do in 3.3 seconds? You can take off your shoes, pop a beer, and shoot someone in 3.3 seconds.



    Officer Judy Hoffs:
    Come on, Hanson.



    Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    You can hold your finger down on the remote control and pass 17 stations in 3.3 seconds. You can open a can of tuna fish, shuffle and bridge a deck of cards, or twist the tops off six bottles of ginger ale in 3.3 seconds.



    Officer Judy Hoffs:
    Hanson, please!



    Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    You can ring a doorbell 22 times, lock and unlock a deadbolt four times, or sing the entire alphabet in 3.3 seconds.



    Officer Judy Hoffs:
    Hanson, please! Please.

  • Off. Doug Penhall:
    This guy is the worst burglar I've ever seen. He's drunk.



    Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    Hammered.



    Off. Doug Penhall:
    Pickled.



    Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    To the gills.

  • Off. Doug Penhall:
    [after being awaken in the middle of the night by Hanson] Why didn't you call?



    Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    You wouldn't have let me in.



    Off. Doug Penhall:
    I know. Why didn't you call?

  • Officer Charlie Donagon::
    [to Tom Hanson] I didn't recognize you without the bandage across your partner's nose.

  • Busdriver:
    Hey, hey, hey, hey. Where's your bus pass?



    Off. Doug Penhall:
    [as Doug McQuaid] My dog ate it.



    Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    [as Tommy McQuaid] I got the same dog.

  • Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    Poke-age!

  • Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    Did someone mention the manly art of poker on Valentine's day?

  • Dave, the poet junkie:
    Save your preach, cop. I reject everything, man. And it's not because I'm unhappy or confused or afraid of reality. See, I can, I can, chew up the nastiest tastes reality has to dish out, man. And if reality serves me up some raw sewage, man - I'll, I'll slurp up a whole toilet-bowl full and call it ambrosia.



    Officer Dennis Booker:
    You always had a way with words, Dave.

  • Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    Another Slamerino!

  • Off. Doug Penhall:
    Oh! Oh! You're not supposed to be watching that. Where's the babysitter?


    [Clavo points to the door where Doug hears giggling from inside the bedroom. Doug knocks]



    Off. Doug Penhall:
    Hey! You've got five seconds to get your clothes on and get out of there before I light your friggin' underwear on fire. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.


    [the babysitter and her boyfriend run half-naked out the door]

  • Off. Tom Hanson #2:
    Without Jenko we're gonna be Charlie's Angels.

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