Statistic
- Quotes: 124892
- Topics: 1241
- Proverbs: 1023
- Searches: 38679
Fashion
Subscribe
Vote
Total 31307 votesAnd 76746 points
Quotes of Movie: 100 Girls [2000]
|
Without you, I'm as lonely as an abandoned dog on the side of a highway. I have gift anxiety, even through I don't know when your birthday is. We can spend perfect days shopping and cooking together. I swear, I'll never make wisecracks when you scrape your tires against the curb while parallel parking. If you consent to live with me, I'll clean the toilet every week. I'll do it with my tongue if you ask. I will strike the words "hooters" and "love rockets" from my vocabulary. I'll love you. Even if your name is Mimi and you want me to pronounce it "May May". I will only pass gas underneath the covers and only under the direst of circumstances. Hell, I'll go on a low cholesterol diet. And I won't buy one of those red sports cars when I hit my mid-life crisis. Your parents can come visit us every week, even if your mom is a big witch with a capital B. And your folks don't have to go to a retirement home because they can come live with us. I declare, I'll separate the whites from the colors, I'll learn the mysteries of hot and cold water washes. I'll never huff and puff while waiting for you to put on my makeup. If you're a cat person, I'll never point out the fact that a dog can save your life from drowning, but a cat can't. I will happily go see chick flicks with you, like "Pride and Prejudice". I'll make a point to trying new food like okra gumbo. I won't curl my nose at vegetables whose awful taste is disguised by having cheese on it. I pledge to always say "yes" when you ask, "Is my hair looking okay tonight?" I'm gonna bring a whole new meaning to the word "cuddle". I'll be thoughtful enough to read your horoscope every day. I'm gonna save every birthday card you send me! And I'll actually write you real letters when we're apart. I'm never gonna expect you to know where I left my car keys, and I'll never leave my socks on the floor. With me, you'll find the cap is always on the toothpaste. I'll start wearing those male bikini style underwear if you like. My belly button will always be lint free. I want to full-on kiss your clitoris. It will be the most passionate, intimate experience you've ever had. I declare now, I will give my life for you. And if you fail to come to me, I know some part of me will surely die. Man, keep it easy, and if she's easy, take her twice. Oh, yeah, nice from a far, but far from nice. Men have this anti-intimacy force field around them. It is powered by sarcasm, humor, and aversion. | |
|
Isn't American cheese appropriately named? You know, it's fake and processed, just like America. It was if I was a perverted Prince Charming. Instead of possessing Cinderella's glass slippers, I had her panties. Matthew: One hundred girls. And one of them is my true love, my forever soul mate, the Betty to my Barney, my kismetic destiny. The problem is I don't know who she is. It must have been the cloak of darkness concealing my usual romantic retardation, because that night, I was smart. I was funny. I was invincible. I think the only 'ists' there should be are humanists. In High School, you would have called me a slut. Now, in College, you call me a good time. There's a certain way a man stares at a woman he loves. The man looks like a boy on his birthday. And he treats the woman as if she were a gift that he's waited so long to open and now he can't wait to see what the treasure is inside. There are no clearly defined rules between men and women. So, each side thinks they're playing fair and each side thinks they're being cheated. Maybe, this is why men and women have the innate ability to bring out the poison in one another. I've seen you around. You're a natural born hipster. Crick: Natural born hipster? Matthew: Yeah. The next evolution of a jock. You traded in your letterman jacket for a manicured goatee and a Eurotrash ponytail. You're the worst kind of cool. You're the kind of guy who wears male make-up. A real fashion plate. You're proof that those boy-toy doofuses in those men's magazines are all rump rangers. I know what's in store for me. No one will ever have passion for me. People all around me will be falling in love, and making love, and getting married and having kids. The closest thing I'll ever have to that is someone inviting me to their Christmas dinner because they feel guilty I might be spending the holiday alone. Or if I'm lucky, my male counterpart, an obese man or guy with a harelip, will invite me to coffee; and we'll pretend to love each other and tie the knot because we're so desperately afraid of growing old alone. [upon seeing Crick knocking on Patty's door, and shouting her name] You are not going to bother her again! Crick: You, go to hell! Matthew: I am turning you in. Crick: What for? Matthew: [voice over] I fought through the shame to bring out the truth. [to Crick] Matthew: I'm going to the police. You sexually assaulted me. [Crick gave a sign of disbelief, so Matthew showed him the tongue he bit off him days before] Crick: You'll never gonna prove it! Patty: Oh, sweet leaping Jesus! Can you hit the basement button please? In the morning she was gone. I had to find her. You're pathetic man. I mean you lose your virginity and you don't even get the girls name. Matthew: [pointing at the weight dangling between Rod's legs] What the hell is that? Rod: It's penile power man. I got it out of an ad in a magazine. I mean, it's going to help me increase my length and girth, all just by hanging weights from my cock, man. Check it out man. I'm up to thirty five pounds. But check it out, this penile power thing, it's going to help me you know, increase my libido, help me maintain a full, firm erection and it's gonna help me control my ejaculation baby, so I'm going to be going all night long. So what are you gonna do about this girl, huh? Matthew: You know what, she left these [handing Rod a pair of panties] Rod: Let me see them. [sniffs] Rod: I recognize this one. Matthew: Hey, give them back. You know, all you gotta do is find the matching bra to those panties and bam! Mystery solved! Matthew: That's not a half bad idea. Rod: Yeah. You're never gonna get in that virgin ball man. They don't let boys on the girlÂ’s side. What are you? A Wyllie E. Coyote super genius or something? Matthew: Yeah. Something like that. Rod: Wait, the Coyote never caught the Roadrunner. Hi, I'm Matt, the new ward study maintenance man. I had a call about some rats. | |
| Calendar | |
 |
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The Best Authors
- (1301)
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (714)
- Samuel Johnson (404)
- William Shakespeare (385)
- Oscar Wilde (370)
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (329)
- Benjamin Franklin (304)
- Albert Einstein (283)
- Henry David Thoreau (280)
- George Bernard Shaw (274)
Search
Pop by Searches
Fight Club 2 Fight cub 2 |
diary 165 life 90 delivery 56 sex 56 wives 56 Robbie Williams 54 skirts 52 friendship 52 key word 50 |
|
|
Best Quote
Worst Quote
