George Burns /Nathan Birnbaum/ quotes Born: 01/20/1896 Died: 03/09/1996 Country: usa

• Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. (George Burns) [happiness/family]
• Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. (George Burns) [bad/people]
• Be quick to learn and wise to know. (George Burns)
• Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. (George Burns) [retirement]
• Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. (George Burns)
• At my age flowers scare me. (George Burns)
• Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. (George Burns)
• Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. (George Burns)
• First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. (George Burns)
• Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle. (George Burns)
• How can I die? I'm booked. (George Burns)
• I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. (George Burns)
• I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money. (George Burns)
• I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. (George Burns)
• I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. (George Burns)
• I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. (George Burns)
• I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. (George Burns)
• I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. (George Burns)
• I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. (George Burns)
• I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. (George Burns)
• I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. (George Burns)
• If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it. (George Burns)
• If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it. (George Burns)
• If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. (George Burns)
• It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. (George Burns)
• It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere. (George Burns)
• It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. (George Burns)
• Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. (George Burns)
• Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. (George Burns)
• Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. (George Burns)
• The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. (George Burns)

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