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Quotes of Farewell Movie: "M*A*S*H" Goodbye
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B.J.: I'll see you back in the States, I promise. But just in case, I left you a note. Hawkeye: What? [the helicopter that Hawkeye is seated in takes off, and he looks down at the note that Hunnicutt spelled out with stones: "GOODBYE"] Ladies and gentlemen, five minutes ago, at 10:01 this morning, the truce was signed in Panmunjon. The hostilities will end twelve hours from now at ten o'clock. The war is over! [M*A*S*H 4077th personnel members cheer and shout] On the communist side, 1,347,000 people were killed or wounded. The war also killed 400,000 Korean civilians. B.J.: This is not a good place to have a career as an innocent bystander. In addition, one-fourth of all Koreans are homeless, and 100,000 are orphans. Father Mulcahy: What did he say? How many orphans? B.J.: 100,000, Father. Father Mulcahy: Dear God! | |
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Klinger, with your penchant for scams, I've no doubt that in no time at all you will own this country. And, you can have it. Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: Thanks, Major - if I'm ever in Bean Town, I'll look you up. Maj. Winchester: Oh, gee, unfortunately, I'll be out of town then. Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: Uh-huh. Major. I hope you don't mind leaving in a garbage truck, but it's the last vehicle I got. Maj. Winchester: Not at all - what better way to leave a garbage dump. Well, boys - it would be hard to call what we've been through fun, but I'm sure glad we went through it together. You boys always managed to give me a laugh right when I needed it most. I'll never forget the time you dropped Winchester's drawers in the O.R. Of course I had to pretend I was mad at you, but inside, I was laughing to beat all hell. Col. Potter: Well, Francis, you've been a godsend. Father Mulcahy: Look on the bright side: When they tell us to serve our time in Purgatory, we can say, "No thanks, I've done mine." I can't say I've loved you all, either... but I've loved as many of you as I could. I'm sure Sgt. Rizzo will find me another mode. Sergeant Luther Rizzo: Well, I'll go take a look, but we ain't got too many modes left, Major. ...Major WIND-Bag... Colonel, before you go... B.J.: We've been thinking about it, and there's a little something we'd like to give you. Hawkeye: It's not much, but it comes from the heart. [Hawkeye and Hunnicutt snap to attention, and for the first time salute Colonel Potter. Potter, very slowly and militarily, returns their salute] Col. Potter: Don't you think a portable radio would be more convenient? The cost of the war to the United States has been placed at twenty-two billion dollars. [One of the people in the O.R. whistles at that amount] B.J.: Don't look at me, I only get three hundred a month. In human terms, the cost was much greater. The U.N. forces have suffered the following casualties - Killed in combat - 71,500. Missing and captured - 83,263. Wounded - 250,000. Hawkeye: [operating on a/another wounded soldier] Make that two hundred fifty thousand and one. B.J.: And two. Col. Potter: Three. Maj. Winchester: Four. Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger: And there's twelve more out in the hall. PA System Announcer: Attention, all personnel, incoming wounded. Bring your shoes. This may be our last dance before we go home. Col. Potter: Winchester, I think there's definitely a medal for capturing five Chinese in your bathrobe. You know, I told you people something a long time ago, and it's just as pertinent today as it was then. Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice. Looks like it'll all be over before too long, huh, Captain? Hawkeye: Not a century too soon. [to Hawkeye] Hey, look at that, [reading signs along the road] Jeep Driver: "Hawk was gone, now he's here. Dance til dawn, give a cheer. Burma-Shave." You holding up okay? Hawkeye: All things considered. [an explosion occurs] Hawkeye: Most things considered. [after a third consecutive explosion] Okay, that's three - let's see if there's any damage. [Another explosion occurs immediately] Hawkeye: That was a hell of a short intermission. I didn't even have time to buy an orange drink. Maj. Winchester: I thought we had a system here, they fire three rounds and they move on. Father Mulcahy: Wait a minute, what happened to that pattern they had of firing off three rounds and then going away? Maj. Winchester: Good question... again. Maj. Margaret Houlihan: Aren't those idiots afraid of being spotted? Col. Potter: I guess they figure the tank's worth the risk. Maj. Margaret Houlihan: Or maybe they brought in a second mortar squad. [Another explosion occurs] Maj. Winchester: Or maybe a third. Hawkeye: Well, the "more-tar" merrier, ha ha ha! Hawkeye: Okay, boys and girls, time to do something intelligent. [He stands up] Hawkeye: Since I seem to be the only intelligent person here, I nominate me, all in favor, say aye. Col. Potter: Take your seat, Pierce. Hawkeye: Uh-uh, sorry, sorry, I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the "A" train, I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take five. [He walks out of the O.R] | |
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