David Letterman quotes Born: 04/12/1947 Country: usa

• USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population. (David Letterman)
• We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours. (David Letterman)
• We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. (David Letterman)
• We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector. (David Letterman)
• Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water. (David Letterman)
• Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton. (David Letterman)

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