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Quotes of Cartoons; The Great Muppet Caper [1981]

  • [In a hot-air balloon]
    Gonzo: I'd like to try this without a balloon.
    Kermit: Try what? Plummeting?
    Gonzo: Yeah.
    Kermit: I suppose you could try it once. (unknown)
  • Prison Guard: Miss Piggy.
    Miss Piggy: What?
    Prison Guard: Your lawyer is here to see you.
    Miss Piggy: Lawyer? I don't have a lawyer.
    Prison Guard: Och, sure you do. Little green guy.
    Miss Piggy: [short intake of breath] Kermie. Oh. No wonder he hasn't come by to see me. He had to finish law school. (unknown)
  • Kermit: What's wrong with the drummer? He looks a little crazed.
    Zoot: Oh, he's just upset about missing the Rembrandt exhibit at the National Gallery.
    Animal: Renoir! (unknown)
  • [Pops is driving the bus with Electric Mayhem in back]
    Pops: [to Kermit and friends who want to get on the bus] You'll have to sit in the front seat, the back's been quarantined. (unknown)
  • Beauregard: What's your room number?
    Kermit: What?
    Fozzie: I don't know, but we're on the second floor.
    Beauregard: Oh, I'm sorry. I can only take you as far as the lobby. (unknown)
  • British Gentleman: For once the forecast was right. It said it was going to rain cats and dogs.
    Kermit: No, no. We're bears and frogs.
    Gonzo: And Gonzos. (unknown)
  • Security Guard: But I hate pepperoni! (unknown)
  • Fozzie: [sighs] It was nice of the Chronicle to pay for our flight home.
    Pops: Yeah, but a man should be treated better than his luggage.
    Scooter: Yeah, well, my luggage was sucked out the door. Luckily my radio is frozen to my wrist. (unknown)
  • Lady Holiday: I feel like thieves are breathing down my neck.
    Nicky Holiday: [breathing down her neck] Thieves aren't breathing down your neck. (unknown)
  • Kermit: Quiet!
    [all fall silent except Janice]
    Janice: "Look, Mother. It's my life. OK. So if I want to live on a beach and walk around naked...” Oh. (unknown)
  • Delivery Man: Mr. Holiday, did you order a gross of flowered socks? (unknown)
  • Lady Holiday: [to Nicky] You left your wallet in college. (unknown)
  • Lady Holiday: That outfit's the pits. Loose where it should be tight and tight where it should be loose like it folds on a turkey's neck. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: Oh, Kermy, I knew you'd come!
    Kermit: [stiffly] Please, the name is Rosenthal.
    [lowers voice]
    Kermit: I'm your attorney, that's the only way they'd let me in here.
    Miss Piggy: Oh, right! Oh, I've missed you so... Rosenthal. (unknown)
  • Rowlf: Let me talk to them. Woof woof. Woof woof.
    [guard dogs start to heel]
    Rowlf: It helps to know a second language. (unknown)
  • Fozzie: Kermit, are bears allowed in those fountains?
    Kermit: [bewildered] What?
    Fozzie: Are bears allowed in those fountains?
    Kermit: No, I don't think so.
    Fozzie: I need a bath. (unknown)
  • [Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie are in a hot air balloon, flying through the opening credits]
    Gonzo: Gee, a lot of people worked on this movie!
    Kermit: Oh, this is nothing. Wait 'til you see the end credits. (unknown)
  • [Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie are in a hot air balloon, flying through the opening credits]
    Fozzie: Nobody really reads those. Do they? (unknown)
  • Prison Guard: TWO MINUTES PIG! (unknown)
  • Gonzo: [after taking pictures of pigeons outside] Local poultry. (unknown)
  • Pops: [banging on bathroom door] Hey! Open up!
    Kermit: Sorry, but we're trying to catch a thief!
    Pops: Well, catch him in another room! We've got people prancing up and down on one leg out here! (unknown)
  • Kermit: [going over check list] Wax lips?
    Zoot: [checking his pockets] Man, I just had them!
    Kermit: Maybe you left them in your other pants?
    Zoot: I don't have no other pants! (unknown)
  • Kermit: [going over checklist] Whoopie cushion?
    Dr. Teeth: [slyly] It's on the bus.
    [everyone laughs] (unknown)
  • Scooter: I brought the hot mustard!
    Kermit: Hot mustard? For what?
    Scooter: Maybe we can eat through the bars. (unknown)
  • Kermit: [on the plane] Someone's coming.
    Fozzie: Oh, maybe they're bringing hamburgers. (unknown)
    • Cartoons; The Great Muppet Caper [1981] | [2]
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