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Quotes of Cartoons; The Great Muppet Caper [1981]

  • [In a hot-air balloon]
    Gonzo: I'd like to try this without a balloon.
    Kermit: Try what? Plummeting?
    Gonzo: Yeah.
    Kermit: I suppose you could try it once. (unknown)
  • Prison Guard: Miss Piggy.
    Miss Piggy: What?
    Prison Guard: Your lawyer is here to see you.
    Miss Piggy: Lawyer? I don't have a lawyer.
    Prison Guard: Och, sure you do. Little green guy.
    Miss Piggy: [short intake of breath] Kermie. Oh. No wonder he hasn't come by to see me. He had to finish law school. (unknown)
  • Kermit: What's wrong with the drummer? He looks a little crazed.
    Zoot: Oh, he's just upset about missing the Rembrandt exhibit at the National Gallery.
    Animal: Renoir! (unknown)
  • [Pops is driving the bus with Electric Mayhem in back]
    Pops: [to Kermit and friends who want to get on the bus] You'll have to sit in the front seat, the back's been quarantined. (unknown)
  • Beauregard: What's your room number?
    Kermit: What?
    Fozzie: I don't know, but we're on the second floor.
    Beauregard: Oh, I'm sorry. I can only take you as far as the lobby. (unknown)
  • British Gentleman: For once the forecast was right. It said it was going to rain cats and dogs.
    Kermit: No, no. We're bears and frogs.
    Gonzo: And Gonzos. (unknown)
  • Security Guard: But I hate pepperoni! (unknown)
  • Fozzie: [sighs] It was nice of the Chronicle to pay for our flight home.
    Pops: Yeah, but a man should be treated better than his luggage.
    Scooter: Yeah, well, my luggage was sucked out the door. Luckily my radio is frozen to my wrist. (unknown)
  • Lady Holiday: I feel like thieves are breathing down my neck.
    Nicky Holiday: [breathing down her neck] Thieves aren't breathing down your neck. (unknown)
  • Kermit: Quiet!
    [all fall silent except Janice]
    Janice: "Look, Mother. It's my life. OK. So if I want to live on a beach and walk around naked...” Oh. (unknown)
  • Delivery Man: Mr. Holiday, did you order a gross of flowered socks? (unknown)
  • Lady Holiday: [to Nicky] You left your wallet in college. (unknown)
  • Lady Holiday: That outfit's the pits. Loose where it should be tight and tight where it should be loose like it folds on a turkey's neck. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: Oh, Kermy, I knew you'd come!
    Kermit: [stiffly] Please, the name is Rosenthal.
    [lowers voice]
    Kermit: I'm your attorney, that's the only way they'd let me in here.
    Miss Piggy: Oh, right! Oh, I've missed you so... Rosenthal. (unknown)
  • Rowlf: Let me talk to them. Woof woof. Woof woof.
    [guard dogs start to heel]
    Rowlf: It helps to know a second language. (unknown)
  • Fozzie: Kermit, are bears allowed in those fountains?
    Kermit: [bewildered] What?
    Fozzie: Are bears allowed in those fountains?
    Kermit: No, I don't think so.
    Fozzie: I need a bath. (unknown)
  • [Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie are in a hot air balloon, flying through the opening credits]
    Gonzo: Gee, a lot of people worked on this movie!
    Kermit: Oh, this is nothing. Wait 'til you see the end credits. (unknown)
  • [Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie are in a hot air balloon, flying through the opening credits]
    Fozzie: Nobody really reads those. Do they? (unknown)
  • Prison Guard: TWO MINUTES PIG! (unknown)
  • Gonzo: [after taking pictures of pigeons outside] Local poultry. (unknown)
  • Pops: [banging on bathroom door] Hey! Open up!
    Kermit: Sorry, but we're trying to catch a thief!
    Pops: Well, catch him in another room! We've got people prancing up and down on one leg out here! (unknown)
  • Kermit: [going over check list] Wax lips?
    Zoot: [checking his pockets] Man, I just had them!
    Kermit: Maybe you left them in your other pants?
    Zoot: I don't have no other pants! (unknown)
  • Kermit: [going over checklist] Whoopie cushion?
    Dr. Teeth: [slyly] It's on the bus.
    [everyone laughs] (unknown)
  • Scooter: I brought the hot mustard!
    Kermit: Hot mustard? For what?
    Scooter: Maybe we can eat through the bars. (unknown)
  • Kermit: [on the plane] Someone's coming.
    Fozzie: Oh, maybe they're bringing hamburgers. (unknown)
    • Cartoons; The Great Muppet Caper [1981] | [2]
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  • “I should start off by saying that I have a very deep affection for American Idol . It's a brilliant show, an absolute phenomenon in the history of television, and I'm not just saying that because they had me on as a guest judge and performer last year -- I truly enjoy the show and would watch it even if the contestants didn't sing my songs as part of the competition and keep my music in the minds of the record-buying public. Now, William Hung ... well, he's certainly no Clay Aiken, my all-time favorite American Idol participant for obvious reasons. But I have a special fondness for William, too -- after all, when I was starting out, people said I was funny-looking and couldn't sing. And even when I became a gigantic pop star in the '70s, I had nearly as many people who hated me as adored me, and let me tell you, a lot of people adored me! Now, could William have done a better job singing my song 'It's a Miracle,' which you can find on several of my Greatest Hits albums? Probably. But if he keeps at it despite what the millions of people who despise him think, then perhaps one day he, too, will sign an eight-year deal to entertain at the Las Vegas Hilton on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights, two shows on Saturday, senior citizen and group discounts available.” (Barry Manilow) [start/absolute/phenomenon/television]