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Quotes of Cartoons; The Great Muppet Caper [1981]

  • [Kermit is sitting on a bench - a man and his daughter walk by]
    Girl: Look, Dad. There's a bear.
    Father: No, dear. That's a frog. Bears wear hats. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: You! It was you! Kermit was right there! You're a phony. You're a phony. Yes, you are! And you know what, you can't even sing. Your voice was dubbed. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: [Lady Holiday has just given Miss Piggy the entire backstory for the movie] Why are you telling me all this?
    Lady Holiday: It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere. (unknown)
  • Statler: I guess all's well that ends well.
    Waldorf: I don't care, as long as it ends. (unknown)
  • Truck Driver: What are you doing here?
    Oscar the Grouch: A very brief cameo.
    Truck Driver: Me too. (unknown)
  • Kermit: We're going to catch those crooks red-handed.
    Beauregard: What color are their hands now? (unknown)
  • Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: I suggest we jump.
    Fozzie: Are you crazy? There's about 100 feet.
    Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: I didn't say it was a good suggestion. (unknown)
  • Kermit: How come you don't have an English accent?
    Beauregard: Hey I'm lucky to have a driver's license. (unknown)
  • Pops: Hey, how're you guys fixin' to pay?
    Kermit: What are our choices?
    Pops: A: Credit card; B: Cash; C: Sneak out in the middle of the night.
    Fozzie: We'll take C.
    Pops: Very popular choice. (unknown)
  • Fozzie: [about run-down hotel] If that's the Happiness Hotel, I'd hate to see what the sad one looks like. (unknown)
  • Gonzo: Stop the presses!
    News Editor: Why? What happened?
    Gonzo: I don't know. I just always wanted to say that. (unknown)
  • Fozzie: What does "BSC" stand for?
    Kermit: I don't know. (unknown)
  • Kermit: I hate to be rude, but we're trying to do a movie. (unknown)
  • Statler: Hey, Waldorf. Wake up. Here come the bikinis.
    Waldorf: Oh, boy. We must synchronize our pacemakers. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: What am I? A glutton for punishment? (unknown)
  • Kermit: We were wondering if you could recommend a nice hotel. Actually, a cheap hotel.
    British Gentleman: How cheap?
    Fozzie: Free.
    British Gentleman: Well then, that narrows the field a bit.
    [reading from his guide]
    British Gentleman: Let's see. "Places where you can park your carcasses." Bus terminals. River banks. The Happiness Hotel.
    Kermit: The Happiness Hotel? That sounds great.
    Gonzo: What's wrong with bus terminals? (unknown)
  • Fozzie: Mr. Holiday, sir. Will you let him go? If you hold him too long, he'll just give you warts. (unknown)
  • Gonzo: Is that the Eiffel Tower?
    Fozzie: Yeah!
    Kermit: No.
    Fozzie: No. No. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: [about Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem's playing] They don't have to play this loud.
    Kermit: That's okay, they don't mind. (unknown)
  • Fozzie: I guess this would be a bad time to ask for a raise? (unknown)
  • Nicky Holiday: Miss Piggy you're a very different looking woman. I'm so tired of the same type. Those tall thin creatures with the long legs, the aquiline noses, the teeth like pearls, soft skin.
    Miss Piggy: Yeah, well I can see where that might make you sick to your stomach. (unknown)
  • [Kermit, Fozzie and Gonzo are in wooden boxes on an airline flight]
    Fozzie: Kermit, can you reach the hostess call button? I'm hungry.
    Kermit: They don't serve food in 9th class. (unknown)
  • Air Steward: All out for England!
    Kermit: Oh, great! The plane is landing!
    Air Steward: [opens cargo door in mid-flight] The plane? No, the plane lands in Italy. *You* land in England! (unknown)
  • Air Steward: All out for the USA.
    Kermit: Great. How close are we?
    Air Steward: About 30,000 feet.
    Kermit: You mean...
    Air Steward: [opens cargo door in mid-flight again] Yep, happy landings. (unknown)
  • Sam the Eagle: You are all - WEIRDOS. (unknown)
    • Cartoons; The Great Muppet Caper [1981] | [2]
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  • “I should start off by saying that I have a very deep affection for American Idol . It's a brilliant show, an absolute phenomenon in the history of television, and I'm not just saying that because they had me on as a guest judge and performer last year -- I truly enjoy the show and would watch it even if the contestants didn't sing my songs as part of the competition and keep my music in the minds of the record-buying public. Now, William Hung ... well, he's certainly no Clay Aiken, my all-time favorite American Idol participant for obvious reasons. But I have a special fondness for William, too -- after all, when I was starting out, people said I was funny-looking and couldn't sing. And even when I became a gigantic pop star in the '70s, I had nearly as many people who hated me as adored me, and let me tell you, a lot of people adored me! Now, could William have done a better job singing my song 'It's a Miracle,' which you can find on several of my Greatest Hits albums? Probably. But if he keeps at it despite what the millions of people who despise him think, then perhaps one day he, too, will sign an eight-year deal to entertain at the Las Vegas Hilton on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights, two shows on Saturday, senior citizen and group discounts available.” (Barry Manilow) [start/absolute/phenomenon/television]