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Quotes of Cartoons; The Great Muppet Caper [1981]

  • [Kermit is sitting on a bench - a man and his daughter walk by]
    Girl: Look, Dad. There's a bear.
    Father: No, dear. That's a frog. Bears wear hats. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: You! It was you! Kermit was right there! You're a phony. You're a phony. Yes, you are! And you know what, you can't even sing. Your voice was dubbed. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: [Lady Holiday has just given Miss Piggy the entire backstory for the movie] Why are you telling me all this?
    Lady Holiday: It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere. (unknown)
  • Statler: I guess all's well that ends well.
    Waldorf: I don't care, as long as it ends. (unknown)
  • Truck Driver: What are you doing here?
    Oscar the Grouch: A very brief cameo.
    Truck Driver: Me too. (unknown)
  • Kermit: We're going to catch those crooks red-handed.
    Beauregard: What color are their hands now? (unknown)
  • Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: I suggest we jump.
    Fozzie: Are you crazy? There's about 100 feet.
    Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: I didn't say it was a good suggestion. (unknown)
  • Kermit: How come you don't have an English accent?
    Beauregard: Hey I'm lucky to have a driver's license. (unknown)
  • Pops: Hey, how're you guys fixin' to pay?
    Kermit: What are our choices?
    Pops: A: Credit card; B: Cash; C: Sneak out in the middle of the night.
    Fozzie: We'll take C.
    Pops: Very popular choice. (unknown)
  • Fozzie: [about run-down hotel] If that's the Happiness Hotel, I'd hate to see what the sad one looks like. (unknown)
  • Gonzo: Stop the presses!
    News Editor: Why? What happened?
    Gonzo: I don't know. I just always wanted to say that. (unknown)
  • Fozzie: What does "BSC" stand for?
    Kermit: I don't know. (unknown)
  • Kermit: I hate to be rude, but we're trying to do a movie. (unknown)
  • Statler: Hey, Waldorf. Wake up. Here come the bikinis.
    Waldorf: Oh, boy. We must synchronize our pacemakers. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: What am I? A glutton for punishment? (unknown)
  • Kermit: We were wondering if you could recommend a nice hotel. Actually, a cheap hotel.
    British Gentleman: How cheap?
    Fozzie: Free.
    British Gentleman: Well then, that narrows the field a bit.
    [reading from his guide]
    British Gentleman: Let's see. "Places where you can park your carcasses." Bus terminals. River banks. The Happiness Hotel.
    Kermit: The Happiness Hotel? That sounds great.
    Gonzo: What's wrong with bus terminals? (unknown)
  • Fozzie: Mr. Holiday, sir. Will you let him go? If you hold him too long, he'll just give you warts. (unknown)
  • Gonzo: Is that the Eiffel Tower?
    Fozzie: Yeah!
    Kermit: No.
    Fozzie: No. No. (unknown)
  • Miss Piggy: [about Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem's playing] They don't have to play this loud.
    Kermit: That's okay, they don't mind. (unknown)
  • Fozzie: I guess this would be a bad time to ask for a raise? (unknown)
  • Nicky Holiday: Miss Piggy you're a very different looking woman. I'm so tired of the same type. Those tall thin creatures with the long legs, the aquiline noses, the teeth like pearls, soft skin.
    Miss Piggy: Yeah, well I can see where that might make you sick to your stomach. (unknown)
  • [Kermit, Fozzie and Gonzo are in wooden boxes on an airline flight]
    Fozzie: Kermit, can you reach the hostess call button? I'm hungry.
    Kermit: They don't serve food in 9th class. (unknown)
  • Air Steward: All out for England!
    Kermit: Oh, great! The plane is landing!
    Air Steward: [opens cargo door in mid-flight] The plane? No, the plane lands in Italy. *You* land in England! (unknown)
  • Air Steward: All out for the USA.
    Kermit: Great. How close are we?
    Air Steward: About 30,000 feet.
    Kermit: You mean...
    Air Steward: [opens cargo door in mid-flight again] Yep, happy landings. (unknown)
  • Sam the Eagle: You are all - WEIRDOS. (unknown)
    • Cartoons; The Great Muppet Caper [1981] | [2]
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