Pacha: Where'd you come from, little guy?
Kuzco: No... touchy.
Pacha: Demon llama!
Kuzco: Demon llama? Where?
[Turns around and sees Misty, a real llama]
Misty: Maaah.
Kuzco: Aaah! (unknown)
[after falling into the alligator pit]
Yzma: Why do we even *have* that lever? (unknown)
[after falling into the alligator pit]
Kuzco: Okay, why does she even *have* that lever? (unknown)
Yzma: Are you talking to that squirrel?
Kronk: I was a junior chipmunk, uh, and I had to be versed in all the woodland creatures.
[to squirrel]
Kronk: Please continue.
[squirrel talks to Kronk]
Yzma: [walking away] Why me? Why me? Why me? Why...?
Kronk: Hey, it doesn't always have to be about you. This poor little guy's had it rough. Seems a talking llama gave him a hard time the other day.
[Yzma rushes over to them]
Yzma: Oh, a talking llama? Do tell.
[squirrel whispers to Kronk]
Kronk: Uh, he doesn't really wanna talk to you.
Yzma: Well, then *you* ask him.
Kronk: [sigh] Hate being in the middle.
Kronk: [speaking squirrel] Squeaky, uh, squeak, sqeaker, squeakin'. (unknown)
[after firing Yzma]
Kuzco: [sing-song] So... who's in my chaaaaaair?
Kronk: Oh, oh! I know! Yzma. Yzma's in your chair, right?
Kuzco: Very good, Kronk! Here. Get the snack. (unknown)
[Kuzco considers seven potential brides who all look remarkably alike]
Kuzco: Let's take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. And, let me guess, you have a great personality. (unknown)
Kuzco: This is Yzma, the emperor's advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth. (unknown)
[on Kuzco]
Yzma: Why, I practically raised him.
Kronk: Yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better.
Yzma: Yeah, go figure. (unknown)
Kuzco: Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been. But, Yzma, do you really want to kill me?
Yzma: Just think of it as you're being let go, that your life's going in a different direction, that your body's part of a permanent outplacement.
Kronk: Hey, that's kinda like what he said to you when you got fired.
Yzma: I know. It's called a "cruel irony", like my dependence on you. (unknown)
Yzma: Tell us where the talking llama is, and we'll burn your house to the ground.
Kronk: Uh, don't you mean "or"?
Yzma: [sighs] Tell us where the talking llama is, *or* we'll burn your house to the ground.
Chaca: Well, which one is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction. (unknown)
[Yzma and Kronk are trapped in a dark locked room]
Pacha's wife: What do you mean the door's stuck? Try jiggling the handle.
Yzma: There is no handle in here.
Pacha's wife: [holding the door handle] There's not? Are you sure?
Yzma: All right, I've had enough of this. Tell us where the talking lhama is and we'll burn your house to the ground.
Kronk: Er, don't you mean or?
Yzma: [even more angrily] Err, tell us where the talking lhama is *or* we'll burn your house to the ground.
Pacha's daughter: Well, which is it? That sounds like a pretty crucial conjunction. (unknown)
Yzma: It is no concern of mine whether your family has - what was it again?
Peasant: Erm, food.
Yzma: Ha! You should have really thought of that before you became peasants! (unknown)
Waitress: Ordering. Three pork combos, extra bacon on the side, two chili cheese samplers, a basket of liver and onion rings, a catch of the day, and a steak cut in the shape of a trout. You got all that, honey?
Kronk: Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of Grandma's breakfast and change the bull to a gill, got it. (unknown)
Old Man: Oh, it's not the first time I was tossed out of a window, and it won't be the last. What can I say? I'm a rebel. (unknown)
Pacha: Someday, you're gonna wind up all alone, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Kuzko: Thanks for that. I'll log that away. (unknown)
[plotting ways to kill Kuzco]
Yzma: Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives...
Yzma: [laughs]
Yzma: ...I'll smash it with a hammer! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!
Yzma: [knocks over bottle of poison on flower, which shrivels up and dies]
Yzma: Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this. (unknown)
Yzma: Take him out of town and finish the job now!
Kronk: What about dinner?
Yzma: Kronk, this is kind of important.
Kronk: How about dessert?
Yzma: Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.
Kronk: And coffee?
Yzma: All right. A quick cup of coffee. Then take him out of town and finish the job! (unknown)
Pacha: We shook hands on it!
Kuzko: You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is...
[wiggles hoofs]
Kuzko: ...you need hands. (unknown)
[Yzma and Kuzco never see each other. When one exits, the other enters]
Yzma: Make me the special. And hold the gravy!
Kronk: Check. Pickup!
Kuzco: You know what? On second thought, make my omelette a meat pie.
Kronk: Meat pie. Check.
Yzma: Kronk! Can I order the potatoes as a side dish?
Kronk: I'll have to charge you full price.
Yzma: [annoyed] Ooh.
Kuzco: Hey, how about a side of potatoes, my buddy?
Kronk: You got it. Want cheese on those potatoes?
Yzma: Thank you, Kronk. Cheddar will be fine.
Kronk: Cheddar spuds coming up.
Kuzco: Spuds yes, cheese no.
Kronk: Hold the cheese.
Yzma: No, I want the cheese.
Kronk: Cheese it is.
Kuzco: Cheese me no "likee."
Kronk: Cheese out.
Yzma: Cheese in!
Kronk: Ah, come on. Make up your mind!
Kuzco: Okay, okay, on second thought...
Yzma, Kuzco: ...make my potatoes a salad. (unknown)
Kuzko: Hey, Kronk, can you top me off, pal, be a friend? (unknown)
Kuzco: Boo-yeah. (unknown)
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