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Quotes of Cartoons; South park [1997] (Usa)
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Randy Marsh: Stan, time to get up for school. Stan? What the...
[Sees Michael Jefferson a.k.a Michael Jackson, in bed with Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Blanket]
Randy Marsh: Mr. Jefferson!
Michael Jackson: Oh, uh, we were just having a slumber party.
Randy Marsh: Mr. Jefferson, this is highly inappropriate.
Michael Jackson: Inappropriate? No, you're being ignorant. They're my friends. You see, I didn't have a childhood so I'm really just a child myself. Here, everything's okay. I want you each to have $100.
Randy Marsh: Wow. I'm gonna go buy that new sport coat I've been wanting. (unknown)
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O: [Cartman] Movie idea #2,305: Adam Sandler is trapped on a deserted island and falls in love with a coconut.
Producer: Great. Great, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. Uh, guys, take a break. I need a minute alone with A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
Executive: Okay.
Producer: You are an incredible robot, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. I was just wondering, are you by chance a *pleasure* model?
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O: What?
Producer: Have you been programmed to satisfy urges of humans?
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O: A.W.E.S.O.M.-O does not understand.
Producer: Let me show you what I mean.
Butters: [on the phone] Yeah, we're having a great time, Aunt Nellie. The movie studio guys are real nice.
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O: Lame!
[bursts out of the board room, followed by a pants-less Producer]
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O: Not cool! Totall lame! (unknown)
Mr. Garrison: Why won't anyone pound Mr Slave's butt?
Randy Marsh: Um, we don't pound butt, Mr Garrison, we're straight.
Mr. Garrison: Those pants and those shoes say you pound butt!
Jimbo: Hey, now that's not true. My shoes don't say I pound butt.
Mr. Garrison: No, your shoes say you take it in the butt! (unknown)
Token: [to Cartman] Good job, dickhead! We lost the entire audience!
Cartman: Ah, fuck you Token, you black asshole!
[Token kicks the crap out of Cartman and leaves him coughing on all fours]
Stan: Hmm, guess he got what he deserved.
Butters: [Standing around Cartman, then after a while he farts on Cartman and gives him the finger] Fuck you, Eric. (unknown)
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Bartender: If a killer put a knife to my throat and said, "Have sex with your father or else I'm gonna kill your while havin' sex with you!" I would have sex with myself. (unknown)
Mr. Garrison: [in reference to the Declaration of Independence] And who wrote that document? Hmm... let's see... I know, let's ask the new kid, Timmy.
Timmy: Timmy!
Mr. Garrison: No Timmy, it wasn't you. (unknown)
Ozzy Osbourne: [Ozzy Osbourne is describing how he became famous] Many years ago, I was the lead man in a struggling band. Chef told me to wear funny hats. I thought he said "bite the head off a bat." And the rest is history! (unknown)
Terrance: Hey Phillip, guess what?
Phillip: What?
Terrance: [Farts] Farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. (unknown)
Phillip: [Terrance and Phillip are in Halloween costumes, and Terrance farts] That fart was absolutely GHOULISH Terrance. (unknown)
HBC Director: Sir, I'd just like to take this opportunity: I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say, you are the most creative genius in Hollywood, and... well... I'd let you have me if you wanted. (unknown)
Cartman: I have never in my life done anything just for the money! If I'm lying may the Lord strike me down right now!
Butters: Uh oh.
[He slowly backs away from Cartman in fear] (unknown)
Michael Jefferson: [after he nearly dropped Blanket out the window, Blanket is crying] Blanket, shh, stop crying. It's okay, here look:
[does the Moonwalk]
Michael Jefferson: Hee hee! Ow! Blanket, shh, hey look, look: I got your nose, Blanket. I got your nose. I got your nose, Blanket, see?
Blanket: Ha ha ha ha.
[tries to play back and actually pulls Michael's nose off]
Blanket: Aah!
Michael Jefferson: No, Blanket, stop. It's ignorant, you're being ignorant. (unknown)
Stan: They took our jobs!
[audience replies]
Stan: Dey tok yer jobs! Dey tk yer jabbs! Derrker derrrd! (unknown)
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: [Butters is holding a Barbie doll] "Hey there, Butters, wanna slap my titties around?" Uh, no thanks, ma'am. I might get in trouble again.
[he puts the doll away and begins whistling] (unknown)
KKK Leader: White power! White power!
Mr. Garrison: [as Mr. Hat] White power!
[as Mr. Garrison]
Mr. Garrison: Oh, I'm sorry, Chef, Mr. Hat is a racist son of a bitch.
[as Mr. Hat]
Mr. Garrison: Don't apologize for me to that spear chucker.
[as Mr. Garrison; gasps]
Mr. Garrison: Mr. Hat!
[runs]
Mr. Garrison: Aaah! (unknown)
Stan: What would I do if Kyle died, Kenny? I'd never see him again!
[cries]
Kenny: That does it! I'm sick and tired of this bullshit. Screw you guys, I'm going home!
[a piano falls, crushing him] (unknown)
Chef: James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here! (unknown)
Stan: Whoa, wait a minute! Kyle saved your life. I think you at least owe him a thank-you!
Cartman: [sighs] Okay. Kyle...
[credits roll] (unknown)
Cartman: [as the Tooth Fairy] Do not open your eyes until morning. Or else I will kick you in the nuts!
Butters: Yes, ma'am! (unknown)
Kyle: Well, are there any chores I can do?
Mrs. Broflovski: Sure, Kyle. You can go to the concert after you clean your room, shovel the driveway, and bring democracy to Cuba!
Kyle: What's Cuba?
Gerald Brofloski: It's a communist country.
Kyle: Okay. Do I have to shovel the whole driveway, or just the side with the car? (unknown)
Timmy: [pointing out turkey] TIMMY!
Farmer: Oh... that one's a little messed up.
Kyle: Timmy, if we go back with that turkey, the other guys will kick our asses.
Farmer: Well, I was just gonna take it out in the back yard and put a bullet in its head...
Timmy: TIMMY!
Kyle: No, dude, don't say that!
Timmy: TIMMY!
Kyle: Fine, how much?
Farmer: Fifty bucks.
Kyle: What? But you were gonna take it in the back yard and put a bullet in its head!
Farmer: Well, now I have to find something else to shoot.
Kyle: Goddamn it, here!
[pays]
Farmer: You know, I have a one-legged pig...
Kyle: Aw, blow it out your ass! (unknown)
Cartman: [chatting with an older man] "I'm eight and a half inches." Whoa, this guy's tiny. He must be a dwarf.
[types]
Cartman: "I don't want to be friends with a midget. Midgets piss me off." Frowny-face. (unknown)
Kyle: [about Butters' cutouts of the boys] Of course, Stan's got blue eyes and I have a sharper nose, but these are pretty close! (unknown)
Cartman: The wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho de Burritos Rojos, south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man who was missing his left index finger, named Gary Bushwell, arriving home at 11:46. (unknown)
Kyle: I've learned something today. You see, the basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself, is always present to us.
Cartman: [astonished] Tits. (unknown)
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Cartoons; South park [1997] | [2] | [3] | [4] | [5] | [6] | [7] | [8]
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