 |
|
|
|
Quotes of Cartoons; South park [1997] (Usa)
|
|
Stan: Shut up, you fat, sweaty mongoloid. You never get higher than a D. (unknown)
Eric Cartman: I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried anything, I'd be like, EH. You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie. Eh, woman, you shut your mouth, and make babies. (unknown)
Fat Abbott: You think you're so dope you punk-ass bitch. I had my jimmy whacked seven times last week. I'll bust a cop in your motherf****** ass. (unknown)
[Teaching the children about genetic engineering]
Mr. Garrison: Genetic engineering is a way to fix God's horrible mistakes, like German people. (unknown)
|
[Stan's report on "Asian Culture."]
Stan: Asian culture has plagued our fragile earth for many years. We must end it. (unknown)
Chef: You've got to hold the football like you would hold your lover. Gently, yet firmly. You wanna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh, yes. Just like making sweet love to the football. Be naughty with the football. Mmmm, spank it. Ever so gently. Spank it. Oh, uh, sorry, children. (unknown)
Stan: [with a sigh, calmly] Oh, my God, we killed Kenny.
Kyle: [shouts] We killed Kenny?
Stan: Yup. We're bastards. (unknown)
Stan: Oh my god. Jay Leno's chin killed Kenny.
Kyle: You bastard.
Jay Leno: Ah, who cares? He dies every episode. (unknown)
Kyle: Oh my GOD! I killed Kenny. You BASTARD! (unknown)
Stan: [Cartman walks in with a beard while Kenny is carving a squash with a huge butcher knife and Stan and Kyle are watching Kenny] Oh, God, he's got that stupid beard on again!
Cartman: [sits next to Kenny] No, Kenny, point the blade the other way otherwise you might cut yourself. There you go... Isn't this fun you guys, carvin' pumpkins on Halloween?
Cartman: [singing] You guys are my best friends / Through thick and thin / We've always been together / We're four of a kind / Havin' fun all day / Palin' around and laughin' away / We're best friends / Best friends are weeee!
Cartman: [Kenny, Stan, and Kyle are all staring at Cartman] I love you, guys. (unknown)
Mr. McCormick: [explaining to Kyle why he isn't as successful as Kyle's father] And do you know why? Because your Dad's Jewish!
Cartman: I heard that! (unknown)
Cartman: [all are high on Ritalin] I think we should go to Lalalapalalala anyway just to see Phil Collins.
Kyle: Yeah. I think Phil Collins rocks the house.
Cartman: Sounds good.
Cartman: Then it's decided. Phil Collins concert for all of us. Oh, hold still, Kenny.
[hits Kenny in the face with a frying pan]
Stan: Oh my goodness, you killed Kenny.
Kyle: Bastard. (unknown)
Kitty: Meow?
Cartman: No, kitty, this is my pot pie.
Kitty: Meow?
Cartman: No, kitty. Get back, kitty.
Kitty: Meow?
Cartman: No, kitty, it's my pot pie.
[Kitty hisses at Cartman]
Cartman: Mom. Kitty's being a dildo.
Cartman's Mom: Well, then, I know a certain kitty-kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight.
Cartman: What? (unknown)
Mr. Garrison: Congratulations, Eric, on writing the award-winning paper.
Cartman: Kick ass.
Stan: That's impossible. Cartman doesn't know a rainforest from a Pop-Tart.
Cartman: Yeah, I do. Pop-Tarts are frosted. (unknown)
Geraldo Rivera: Obesity. Adiposity. Corpulence. Whatever word you use, it represents one thing: being a big fatass. (unknown)
Cartman: Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals. I'm living proof. Beefcake. Beefcake. (unknown)
Eric Cartman: Come on Kyle. Just because your mom is a bitch doesn't mean that we all have to suffer. (unknown)
Eric Cartman: I bet I'm going to get more candy than you.
Kyle: No, you're not.
Eric Cartman: Yes, I am, because I'm the Candy Master.
Kyle: No, you're the Ass Master. There's a difference. (unknown)
Eric Cartman: I got my period. (unknown)
Butters: Will I eventually get to South Park if I follow this road?
Hick Gas Station Mechanic: Dat road leads to Conifer. You want ta go to South Park you gotta go down dat road.
[scary road, lighting, ominous music]
Hick Gas Station Mechanic: Course I ain't never seen anyone go up that road. Six years ago a group of campers went out dere and got lost, had to eat each other to stay alive. Used to be da way to da O'Reilly house, he butchered over 50 children and kept der bodies in his cellar. But you should find an old bridge 'bout half way up. Dat bridge is cursed, ya know. Dey built it with the bones of 200 Chinese laborers who were massacred in '34. Ya, a lot of history on dat road.
Butters: Well, it's my parents' anniversary tomorrow, and they're gonna be awful sad if I'm not there with them.
Hick Gas Station Mechanic: Well, good luck den.
[Butters walks away]
Butters: Oh, jeez.
Hick Gas Station Mechanic: ...or is South Park down dat road? (unknown)
Blanetologist: Oh, I've got a trick for you to learn. I can show you how to make your true self appear. Let me ask you all something. Do you consider yourselves to happy?
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: I don't think I'm very happy. I always fall asleep to the sound of my own screams.
Blanetologist: [Long pause] Right. You see the reason that you're unha...
Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: [interrupting] And then I always get woken up to the sound of my own screams. Do you think I'm unhappy? (unknown)
Kyle: Wow, that's a lot of semen Cartman.
Eric Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.
Stan: That's cool.
Eric Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is; the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose. (unknown)
Priest Maxi: Boys, I haven't seen you in church lately.
Kyle: Well, I'm Jewish.
Priest Maxi: You're not too Jewish to worship Jesus, are you?
Kyle: I guess not. (unknown)
[about Jews]
Priest: They crucified Our Lord and Savior. If you don't go to hell for crucifying Our Savior, then what the hell DO you go to hell for? (unknown)
Stan: You're my super best friend, Kyle.
Kyle: You're my super best friend, Stan.
Cartman: Oh, that's so sweet you guys. You two want to get a room so you can make out for a while?
[Both Stan and Kyle take turns kicking Cartman] (unknown)
|
Cartoons; South park [1997] | [2] | [3] | [4] | [5] | [6] | [7] | [8]
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
