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Quotes of Cartoons; South park [1997] (Usa)
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[everyone realizes there isn't enough room to move] Stan: Well? Cartman: I'm gonna, just give me a minute. (unknown) [crowd quiets] Chef's Father: Tomorrow, my son is gonna get married to a beautiful lady. [sniffles] Chef's Father: I'm very happy for them both. [begins to choke back tears] Chef's Father: Ooh, there I go - I told myself I wasn't gonna cry. Chef: It's okay, pop. Chef's Mother: Thomas, you're gonna get me going now. [begins to tear up] Chef's Father: I remember when Chef was just a three-year-old little man, he came runnin' into me with a big smile and his little chef's hat on, and he says to me, "Poppa, poppa." I said, "What do you need, Chef, my boy?" He said, "I need about tree-fitty." Chef's Mother: Tree-fitty! Chef's Father: Well, it was about that time I begin to get suspicious. I said, "Chef, my boy, why do you need tree-fitty?" He said, "My imaginary friend Boo-Boo the dinosaur wants it." So I went to my son's room, and sure enough, there was that damn Loch Ness Monster! Chef's Mother: Lord, it was scary! Chef's Father: I said, "Dammit, monster, you quit bugging my children, now. We work for our money in this house - we don't just give money away!" (unknown) [silence] Man: What's your wish, pal? Kenny: [muffled] I guess the only thing I wish is not to die. Woman: What did he say? Kyle: He said his wish is not to die. [long stretch of silence] Woman: Okay, and what if you're gonna have two wishes? What would the second one be? (unknown) | |
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[sings] Eric Cartman: You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille... (unknown) [someone giggles] Randy Marsh: What? [looks at the board and realized his diagram looks like a penis] Randy Marsh: Oh, godammit! Godammit! [erases it] (unknown) Kenny: [muffled] Yes! [he dances around in jubilee] Kenny: [muffled] Woohoo! I did it! I reached level s... [a truck runs him over] Driver: [playing his PSP] Oh, yeah, level 4, sweet! (unknown) Ms. Garrison: Now, how about our gay couples? Stan and Kyle? Stan: [determined] Fine! Ms. Garrison: What? Stan: No problems at all! Ms. Garrison: [angry] That's impossible! [she snatches the egg from Stan's hand and looks it over carefully] Ms. Garrison: Are you sure you didn't break it and switch eggs on me? Where's my signature? Stan: It's right there, see? [he leans toward Kyle in fear; Wendy looks away from the action] Ms. Garrison: [shouts] Two boys can't possibly take care of an egg! Kyle: Dude, it's totally fine. Ms. Garrison: [shouts] It isn't fine! It has two daddies! It may be fine on the outside, but inside it's confused and embarrassed! Look at the freak egg! It has two daddies! [taunts the egg directly] Ms. Garrison: Two daddies! Two daddies! C'mon, class, let's rip on the freak egg! Two daddies! Two daddies! (unknown) Governor: I believe that I might have come up with a compromise to this whole problem that will make everyone happy! People in the gay community want the same rights as married couples, but dissenters don't want the word "marriage" corrupted. So how about we let gay people get married, but call it something else? [everyone listens quietly] Governor: You homosexuals will have all the exact same rights as married couples, but, instead of referring to you as "married", you can be... butt buddies. [long silence] Governor: Instead of being "man and wife", you'll be... butt buddies. You won't be "betrothed", you'll be... [makes quote with his fingers] Governor: ... butt buddies. Get it? Instead of a "bride and groom", you'd be... [makes quote with his fingers again] Governor: ... butt buddies. Mr. Slave: We wanna be treated equally! Governor: You *are* equal. It's just that, instead of getting engaged, you would be... butt buddies. And everyone is happy! Woman: [from the lesbian crowd] Well, what about lesbians? Governor: Well, like anyone cares about fuckin' dykes! [the crowd goes into an uproar] Governor: [embarrassed] Oh, God, I was sure that would work. (unknown) [shouts] Randy Marsh: I thought this was America! (unknown) Eric Cartman: [imitating Tony Montana] What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." (unknown) Trey Parker: When we first made South Park, we didn't wanna use construction paper. We just had to because it was cheap. Matt Stone: And now with new technology we can finally remaster South Park, make it look sharp, clean and focused. Trey Parker: Expensive. Voiceover: Yes, all the charm of a simple little cartoon will melt before your eyes as it is replaced by newer and more standardized animation! Trey Parker: For instance, in the scene at the bus stop, we always meant to have Imperial walkers and giant dewback lizards in the background, but simply couldn't afford it. Voiceover: Get this special enhanced version quick, because another enhanced version will likely be coming out for 2003! (unknown) Butters: I told you my name isn't Kenny. It's Butters. Stan: Hi new Kenny. (unknown) City Wok Owner: [mock Chinese accent] Ooh, Canada, okay, that's pretty far. Gonna cost you a rot of money. Ret's see... How many people? Kyle: Four. City Wok Owner: Four people, Canada, cost a rot of money. Gonna be about 6,500 dorrar. Kyle: How about 50 dorrar? City Wok Owner: Fity dorrar? You fly to Canada cost you at-reast 3,000 dorrar. Kyle: 55 dorra. City Wok Owner: Hey, stop wasting my time with 55 dorrar. No way I take my plane to Canada for less than a thousand dorrar! Kyle: Okay... Sixty dorrar. City Wok Owner: Sixty two dorrar. Kyle: Okay. City Wok Owner: Okay, meet me Park County Air field, yellow sesnut, tail number 432-G. [Hangs up phone] City Wok Owner: Hee hee. Never try to barter with a Chinese man. (unknown) Kyle: [Unenthusiastically] You bastard. (unknown) Stan: [shocked] Oh, my God, they've killed Kenny! [pause] Stan: ... Sort of. Kyle: Yeah. They've kinda killed Kenny's look-alike. [shouts] Kyle: You bastards! (unknown) Kids: hey Chef Stan: Chef whats a prostitute? Chef: Ugh where do you kids get this stuff.Where do baby's come from chef,whats a prostitute chef cant you kids say hey chaf nice day aint it Kids: Hey chef nice day aint it Chef: Thank You! Stan: Chef Whats a prostitute? (unknown) | |
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